ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.

Today, on the Feast of Pentecost, I, though unworthy, celebrated my 10th anniversary as an Orthodox priest. It's been a rough road. Moments of glory mixed with suffering -- all of which were complicated by my own sinfulness and shortcomings -- have been my helpers. I thank God.

I regret the missed opportunities brought about by my own shortsightedness. I regret the mistakes that I've made due to people-pleasing, impatience, lack of discretion, selfishness and carelessness. As any parent must feel, I carry the burden of my children -- those with me and those who've left -- with a bowed spirit and a contrite heart.

I thank God for the sleepless nights that have driven me closer to Him. I thank God for the trials that were intended for me to grow in patience. I thank God for disturbing my peace, helping me to cherish His.

The priesthood helps a man to see clearly his human failings and shortcomings. It is often a thankless "job." I remember when I was ordained as an Episcopal priest (12 years ago), the subject of the homily was "Priestcraft." The homilist, Rev. Andrew Sloane, encouraged the community to help me to learn the craft by saying something nice every once and a while; to ask how I was doing; to take care of my family; to encourage me. At the time I thought, "What is he talking about? That's all I've experienced thus far!" Looking back, it was a wonderful honeymoon. Glory to God!

I thank God for allowing me to witness the miracle working power of prayer. I thank God for allowing some of my prayers to go [seemingly] unanswered. I thank the Holy Spirit for praying in me due to my sloth. I thank God for all those who have prayed for me and my poor ministry.

I'm thankful for all those who have been a part of my life and ministry. I'm thankful to God for helping me to persevere in spite of my sins and the many attacks of the enemy. I am learning to be thankful to God for my enemies. Everyone -- especially priests -- should acquaint themselves with the great prayer of St Nikolai the Serbian, "Bless My Enemies, O Lord." For me, the words of that prayer read like the Psalms of David -- full of wisdom, ringing true to my own experience. There is grace therein. As I struggle to pray for my enemies I'm ever mindful that I, too, am on another's list. I thank God for those prayers.

A priest once said, "I wanted to be a priest out of arrogance. God allows me to be a priest as a penance." That, too, rings true. Glory to God for all things!

There are indescribable joys in the priesthood. Holding the infant above the waters of baptism and initiating another Christian into the family of God. Standing with a penitent and weeping over sins -- then assuring the same of God's mercy and forgiveness. Uniting God, a man, and woman in the sacrament of marriage. But nothing can compare to standing before the holy table and offering the eucharistic sacrifice. If not for that single grace how could one persevere? If not for that glorious grace of God, who could withstand the trials? Without that, what for?

I thank God for the prayers and protection of my over-worked Guardian Angel, the prayers of the Mother of God, the love of family, the gift of friendship, and the intercessions of the Saints. I thank God for mercy.

I am learning to appreciate that which I have received. I am learning to be fully present in the present moment. I am learning to guard the Peace. Ten years & I am learning. I am learning.

I beg your prayers.

Glory to God for all things!
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Sanctioned homosexual unions elsewhere have led to a new movement of secession in the South as mentioned in this article from World Net Daily.
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[The following article appeared in The Word magazine, May 2004 (Vol.48;No.5).]

Students of the art of comedy know that for humour to work it must bear some semblance to the truth. One truth about humour: it’s usually at someone’s expense. Something you find funny, someone else finds offensive, and vice versa. The subject of sex is like that. Though not entirely humourous, it’s possible for any discussion of sex to be offensive. Ours is an overly-sexed, overly sensitive, age. And all of us – every man, woman, and child – struggle with our sexuality, our fallen body and its relationship to God and others.

I once heard of a priest who delivered a talk on sex in his church. He began by asking, “How many of you are not married?” After a showing of hands he asked, “How many of you are married?” He then pointed from the latter group to the former stating, “Alright, you can. You can’t.” This is true. God-pleasing sexual relations are between a man and a woman within the sacrament of holy matrimony. Period. Everything else is merely a footnote to that axiom.

It’s the belief of various Gnostic heresies that the soul alone is pure and the body is evil. We do not believe this. Sex is not a sin. Sexual desires and feelings are not, in and of themselves, sinful. Our bodies are not evil. Christ is the Saviour Who saves the whole of mankind – including the body. It is misuse of sex, the abuse of our bodies, that is sinful. Contrary to bumper stickers claiming otherwise, our bodies are not our own. Having been redeemed by Christ, our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. That which defiles the body also damages the soul.

Americans have hastened happily down a perilously slippery slope over the past fifty years. The Kinsey Report of the 1950s, the introduction of the birth control pill in the 1960s, the sexual revolution and the drug/disco era of the 1970s, the spread of AIDS in the 1980s, the homosexual propaganda of the 1990s, and, in general, the wholesale discarding of self-control and moral standards over the past 20 years – has landed us within a cesspool of tangled bodies and confused minds. This perverse insanity has even infected many people claiming to be “Christians.”

I once had a conversation with a friend who’d converted to Orthodoxy. At the time I was an Episcopalian on my way to seminary. I asked, “How does Orthodoxy handle your homosexuality?” “A lot better than the Episcopal Church,” he replied. He said that when he’d confessed his struggles in the Episcopal church, the priest frowned on his “orientation.” Whereas others, heterosexual college-aged men struggling with continence, had their sins winked at by the priest. [My how times have changed!] He went on to state that within Orthodoxy, sex outside of heterosexual marriage is a sin. Period. Sin is sin. And he was right. Carnal relations outside the God-pleasing confines of monogamous heterosexual marriage is contrary to God’s will. It separates us from God and others.

You’ve probably heard the advertisements for a dating service called “E-Harmony.Com” on the radio. One day, while riding in the car with my two oldest (ages 9 & 5), we heard the ad but it was dragging. For those of you who remember, it sounded like a 45 record played at 33 1/3. The voices that were originally female now sounded deep and masculine: “ I met my husband through e-harmony.com”. My kids started laughing before I did. We all laughed. It was hilarious to hear a deep voiced man boasting of finding his “husband” through a dating service. In the natural order of things, my kids found such an idea preposterously funny. We still talk about that funny moment. Unfortunately, due to the courts and media, I will soon have to talk to them about why “natural order humour” is no longer funny.

Holy Matrimony means “Holy Mother-Making.” In other words, the Church blesses the union of husband and wife toward the procreation of children. Though a homosexual may pretend to be a “mother” and a lesbian a “father,” it is just that: pretend. There is no truth in it. Objections about barren couples, adoption, heterosexual divorce rates, and secular rights fall on deaf ears where truth and salvation are the goal. It is one thing to show compassion for another’s struggles. It is another to [pretend to] change the God-given natural order of life itself to accommodate a false pretense. This is bearing false witness.

In 1991 I participated in the Episcopal Church’s General Convention in Phoenix, Arizona. I worked for two conservative groups, The Prayer Book Society and the Episcopal Synod of America. With a background in broadcasting, it was my job to conduct “man on the street” interviews and deliver newscasts each day at our media booth. What an eye opener! It was shocking and heartbreaking to hear teens – TEENS – saying that God only cared about love and was not concerned with what two consenting adults did in the privacy of their own home! Most shocking was the voting that happened between grown adults, delegates and bishops of that denomination, regarding the sacrament of marriage. When a bishop proposed a resolution stating that sex outside of marriage should be forbidden for priests and deacons, the homosexual lobby was prepared to support the measure. Why? Because they were proposing the blessing of same-sex unions. The conservative lobby refashioned the resolution to read “sex outside of monogamous heterosexual marriage” is forbidden for members of the clergy. Due to pressure from the homosexual lobby, the measure failed. The measure failed! That was the day my pilgrimage out of the Episcopal church began.

We, as Christians, members of the Body of Christ, do not get to vote on morality. The will of God on all matters pertaining to our relationship with our bodies and each other has been revealed. We must struggle, daily, to practice the precepts of our Faith. We fall, we get up. Fall down, back up. Fall again, up again. If we sin, through confession and repentance, we are reconciled through Christ to His Holy Church.

A priest once told about a man who came to see him about becoming Orthodox. The priest said, “Okay, we’ll need to discuss who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ....” The man interrupted him saying, “I’m gay.” The priest said, “Okay. But if you want to become Orthodox, we’ll need to discuss who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ....” “Dang it! Didn’t you hear me? I said, I’m gay!” “I heard you,” said the priest, “but if you want to become Orthodox, we’ll need to talk about who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ....” Crying, the man told the priest that other pastors had either told him it didn’t matter, or to get out! It took the man a couple years to become Orthodox, but another 10 years to become celibate. He claims he could never have made it without the benefit of Christ, the Church, and the Sacraments.

The Church – our Spiritual Hospital – must be open to all. We’re all sick with the disease of sin. We cannot be healed, really healed, without receiving the Body and Blood of Christ. We must never turn our backs on someone just because they’re a sinner or their sin’s not ours. God forbid! This is the mission of the Church, to save sinners! But, by the same token, it is not within our power to state that a sin is no longer a sin. God alone forgives. God alone is the judge. He has revealed Himself and His will to us in the Scriptures, within the Church.

Returning to the art of comedy, few spectacles are more unbearable to watch than a comedian failing. We’ve all seen it: Someone is trying to be funny and we’re just not able to laugh. It may be the performer’s delivery, his material, appearance, or the given context. Essentially, remembering the first axiom of comedy, there’s no truth in the presentation. To laugh at such an act would be a pretense. That, my brethren, is an image of sex outside of the God-pleasing marriage of man and woman. There is no truth in it. It is fake. It is a failure. It leads to death. This analogy also speaks clearly to recent events gaining national attention – the elevation of a practicing homosexual to the episcopacy in the Episcopal church and the blessing of so-called “same sex unions.” Viewed with the lense of the Church, it is no laughing matter.

As Orthodox Christians we bear a weighty burden in these troubled times. We must not only struggle to preserve our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, we must bear witness to the Life-giving precepts of the Body of Christ to those outside Her holy confines – even and especially to those calling themselves “Christians.” The Church has a host of Saints who’ve gone on before us, acquiring salvation through the mortification of the flesh and the passions (St Mary of Egypt comes immediately to mind.) And the same Revelation that teaches us to beware fornicators, false teachers, and wolves in sheep’s clothing also states:

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:8

And if anyone sins, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
1 John 2:1b

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.
John 3:16-21

This Good News is offensive only to those living in darkness. Funny thing is, it is the same Good News that liberates the offended and leads to salvation in Christ. Let us place this light, the light of Truth, on a candle stand for all to see.
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I once heard a priest, speaking on some of the nuttiness within Orthodox Convert circles, claim: "Shine a light bright enough and even the bugs will come." For me, this was true of what I now know as Gnosticism. Some of us, through no special intent or talent, seem to have a built in Decoder Ring for the esoteric and metaphysical sciences. This is not to say, at least in my case, that there is always understanding nor just mere attraction. Rather, it's part of the thing that is the thing. Like déjà vu. You don't WILL such events. But when they occur, a certain sure and uncertain comfort, which seems timeless, is encountered. For me, that was New Age before it was called such; "Gnosticism" before I even knew the word.

More to come ...
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I've a confession to make: I am on my final pages of Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco (1988), which -- so I hear -- is the fictional forerunner of the plethora of recently published books which include Gnosticism, Knight's Templar lore, Rosicrucianism, etc. A further confession: I've skipped about every 10th word due to ignorance :)

The above link's article goes a long way in splashing some nice cold water on some old, old fires. (Speaking of old fires, some day I'll have to recount my own days as a Gnostic wannabe. For now, it's a secret :)
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"If conservative religious people wish to exert maximum influence on culture, they will redirect their attention to repairing their own cracked foundation. An improved heterosexual family structure will do more for those families and the greater good than attempts to halt the inevitable. A topical solution does not cure a skin disease whose source is far deeper.

Paul the Apostle long ago saw what happens when people remove boundaries: "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear" (2 Timothy 4:3).

That day has arrived like a tsunami in Massachusetts and soon in the other 49 states."
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The sign said "Now Hiring." She walked into the college town restaurant and, in my opinion, was too pretty for the job. I sent an assistant out to interview her -- and get rid of her -- on two different occasions. The third time (she claims it was because of the hiring sign) I decided to interview her myself. Yes, she was beautiful, but we needed hard workers. In going over her work experience I noticed that she'd worked at the southern Baptist camp, Fort Caswell, at the beach. We talked a lot about Caswell, I hired her. She later won "employee of the year." We weren't Orthodox then, but we've got three cradle Orthodox children now.
It's true, you marry from among those with whom you hang out. Or, in some cases, among those who hang out with God in the same way you're accustomed. Besides that, camping builds character and allows growth toward God and others. I like camping in general and Church camp in particular. This region is growing in the Faith. Growing up Orthodox in the South has its own struggles -- for cradles and converts. The time has come for a regional camp to support that growth, those struggles, and each other in Christ. True, if you believe in something you'll drive great distances and make many sacrifices for that belief. Then again, that same belief can't help but encourage you to make that experience real for others ... at home. Isn't that what Mission work is all about?
In the same missionary spirit with which our Southeast Region is growing, I invite you to please support our regional Camp St Thekla. The time has come.
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I’m a Southerner. I was born and reared a Southern Baptist; educated as an Episcopalian, and converted to Orthodox Christianity a decade ago. Since then, I’ve been struggling to be Orthodox. As a missionary priest, I’ve also struggled to bring others to Orthodoxy in the South. More than anything, I’ve learned that I have a lot to learn. I’ve also concluded that Orthodoxy, in its plethora of jurisdictions, will have to learn some things, appreciate some things, about Southern Culture before ever being truly successful in bringing Southerners to the Faith.

I was reared in a small town near Charlotte, North Carolina. Growing up, I never met a Jew, much less a Muslim. Lutherans were rare enough in my hometown, much less Roman Catholics. Basically, we were Baptists and Methodists, blacks and whites. I’d never even heard of Orthodox Christianity until I was on my way to the Episcopal seminary in the 1980’s. Come to think of it, I’ll bet most folks in my hometown still have never heard of Orthodoxy.

No Orthodox jurisdiction ever sent missionaries to the South. Most Converts have stumbled upon the Faith only after many years of searching. If this were different, perhaps more progress would be apparent in bridging the gap between East and South. Like St Innocent who helped convert the natives of Alaska by "Incarnating" their native faith thereby bringing them to Christ, would that someone had intentionally helped the South to grow out of its native Protestantism into the fullness of the Christian Faith. Instead, many of the "ethnic churches" resemble Protestant churches with icons and the assimilation, at least with church practices, has moved away from traditional Orthodox practice toward Protestant norms. Such a vacuum allows Converts to flounder toward the Kingdom while accumulating various practices from the smorgasbord of Orthodoxy in America. It also lends itself to parish and/or jurisdiction hopping in hopes of finding the fittest vessel, the most correct iconography, the willing guru, etc.

I have heard that the seminaries in Russia are bursting with future priests. We have a priest shortage in America, they may soon have a glut in Russia. It wouldn’t surprise me if they sent some of those men to this country to evangelize. That would certainly wake us from our jurisdictional squabbling and anti-Christian stupor! Maybe our constant judging and nitpicking would be tempered by some honest to goodness evangelism?

Face it, the smorgasbord of Orthodox jurisdictions makes absolutely no sense to most Converts. Finding the True Faith is encumbered by also finding a dozen administrative bodies claiming to be really it! I was once told by a monk "All monks are in communion with each other." Though said in jest, very much like a tightly knit ethnic community which fellowships within its own ethnic world, the same can be said of Converts -- the majority of which are in the South.

We Southerners have many weaknesses. Paramount is our ingratiating spirit. We deliberately set out to gain others’ favour by winsome actions. Hopelessly people-pleasing we are! Being "cut from this cloth," we also have a weakness for taking a man at his word. If you tell us that you’re going to do something, more often than not, we expect you’ll do it. If you don’t, there’s a good chance that you’ll lose our trust, permanently. This behaviour will differ between Southerners and Southerners and Southerners and Outsiders. Like any ethnic group, we trust our own a while longer. Yet, to a Southerner, duplicity appears rampant in American Orthodoxy. Arabs, Russians, and other cultures are accustomed to hubris and other blustering within daily discourse. In the South, we expect it of politicians. We discourage it in decent folks. Integrity, in the South, is expected of church leaders. Having found the True Faith we’re confused by contradictory words and actions which often emanate from the various jurisdictional hierarchs.

When I first became Orthodox in the Antiochian jurisdiction, someone suggested that I read a book entitled "The Arab Mind" to get a sense of my newly adopted church culture. The book claimed that, in Arabic, the root word for eloquence and exaggeration is the same. An Arab may exaggerate to show machismo. For instance, a man may shout across a street corner to another "I hate you." The other man replies, "I not only hate you, I’m going to kill you!" The man retorts "I’m going to kill you and your family!" Etc. These same men may later be found sharing a friendly meal together. Words fail me in describing how this same dialogue might have ended in the South. Put it this way, funeral processions still stall traffic in these parts.

Contrary to outsiders’ perceptions, Southerners do not put on airs. Though we may be hospitable, friendly, and civil, what you see is what you get. If we share openly with you, it means we trust you. Once you break that trust, it may be irreparable. All are welcomed here. Yet, we are easily offended. If offended, the offending party will be cut off till reparation. Our people-pleasing nature lends itself to over-sensitivity. It just comes with the territory. In the South, admiration comes easy, respect is earned over time.

Like all those outside Paradise, Southerners gossip. In a region where being idle is considered a virtue, idle talk ain’t far behind! I don’t mean the kind of vindictive gossip popularized by Soap Operas and other media. (Though we have that too.) Rather, Southerners carry on conversations in a way that others might view as gossiping. And, God help us, at times it is. Yet, often this is a manner of couching subjects within an engaging tale. It’s the way we talk around here.

Southerners are self-effacing. We can take criticism if it’s properly couched in civility and/or humour. For us, if direct confrontation is necessary, things have already gone too far! Sometimes our neighbors to the North skip all the niceties and cut right to the chase. (Northern aggression continues.) And, since all the Orthodox jurisdictions hail from a different culture with the "home offices" up North, this element of cultural war persists within church dynamics. Brutal honesty is not only unwelcome but most often rejected in the South.

Before attending my first gathering of Clergy and Church Wardens in the Russian Church, I was asked about the nature and agenda of the meeting. I said, "Well, they’ll probably argue and yell at each other for a few hours and then we’ll have lunch. After lunch, they’ll argue and yell some more then we’ll kiss each other goodbye and go home." I’m no prophet, but boy was I ever on the mark with that prediction! In such a setting you can recognize the Southerner -- he’s the one with his mouth shut. If asked, were he honest, he’d say "I think you all are crazy." But, "don’t ask, don’t tell" has always been policy where I’m from. Being slightly dishonest in the name of civility is considered a virtue.

You yell at a Southerner and it may have eternal consequences. When we speak, all that’s required of you is to listen politely until it’s your turn. We don’t take kindly yelling, interruption, jeering, or public ridicule. We may not break bread with you until there’s resolution. You don’t have to agree, mind you. But, you must behave in such a way that assures civil discussion and debate. It may be that we take things personally. But, we operate on the assumption that you do to. Therefore, quite selfishly, the Golden Rule applies no matter what your rank or station.

Northerners are most often defined by their family’s nation of origin. This type of identification is foreign to the South. Here, folks are identified by their family name and/or their religious affiliation. I’ve often heard Northerners speak of someone as being Italian, Ukrainian, German, etc. Along with this description is the implied religion of those being described (Roman Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, etc). This is not the case in the South. Here, folks are defined by their religion: Baptist, Episcopalian, Methodist, Charismatic. So it is that Northern Orthodox are often amazed that Christians would intentionally convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. What an idea! Can you convert from Italian to German?

Folks in the rural South usually attend the church nearest their home. In the country, you’ll find mostly Baptists, Methodists, and Pentecostals. Towns will have Presbyterian and Episcopalian churches. And, here and there, you’ll find Lutheran pockets and an occasional Roman Catholic church. Latins and Lutherans may have a bit of a drive or live within a "family burb." However, Presbyterian and especially Episcopalian churches are populated with many who have "worked their way up" to that denomination. Your particular brand of Christianity may be a status symbol in the South. Unfortunately, viewed from such binoculars, Orthodoxy can seem a step down. Forgive me, but to a proper Episcopalian, Orthodoxy can seem down right barbaric!

When expected, don’t be surprised if a Southerner shows up early and leaves late. We don’t understand "Orthodox People Time." If you tell a Southerner that something starts at 6:00 pm, he’ll most likely arrive at 5:45. We don’t want to miss a thing! We’re not only unaccustomed to the Orthodox habit of being late, we find it rude and uncivilized. Also, Southerners usually don’t leave without saying Goodbye, many times. This process of departing may take 30 minutes or better.

Southern culture is, at least, as relevant as other forms of ethnicity -- whether "Orthodox" or not. We Converts appreciate the foods and festivities of our adopted culture. But, must we discard our norms and ways and replace them with those of traditionally Orthodox lands? Fund raising’s fine, but what about tithing? Lamb’s good, but so is pork barbecue. Pascha and kollich is festive, but that first bite of pecan pie is just as heavenly. Can such Southern gatherings as Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, family reunions, BBQs, and oyster roasts be "baptized" into Orthodoxy? It’s too early to tell. Orthodoxy is new to the South. And it’s yet to be seen whether the two can melt into one God-pleasing flavour.

Converts have lots of extended family and friends that remain Protestant. Thus, most find themselves in awkward situations. Wednesdays and Fridays may not be as difficult to negotiate as is the Peter & Paul Fast or fasting for Easter and Christmas. I baptized a man who, for years, had hosted the family pig-picking on July 4th. Of course, that’s often a fast day. But that was his one big family obligation. I remember a couple that I’d chrismated and had moved away. The next major fast to come along, I called to see how they were doing. They, in jest I suppose, replied "Oh, we’re doing fine. We’re just eating over at our [non-Orthodox] friends’ each evening!"

The pendulum may swing otherwise. You’ve seen them: the "Orthodox Taliban." The man grows long hair and beard, forgets how to smile. The woman covers herself from head to toe -- her modesty smothers her dignity. They both stop bathing. There’s no visible joy in their life. Their wrists are covered with wool knots. They eat only broccoli; tofu is reserved for feast days. They begin shopping for a home -- preferably a tent or a lean-to -- out in the woods, sans the burden of electricity. These things may not be harmful in and of themselves. Yet oftentimes, when Converts confuse such "asceticism" with Orthodoxy, it can have dire results.

Through Catechism, reading of the Fathers, and other instruction, Converts fashion an ideal Orthodoxy toward which to struggle. Then, they might get to know some of the "Cradle Orthodox" only to be turned off. This can develop into a dichotomy leading to judgmentalism, Pharisee-ism, and a sort of Convert-Superior-Orthodoxy which is, needless to say, far from the ideal! We must all struggle toward the ideal in humility. Thanks to the lackadaisical piety of some Cradles, this can present a great challenge. To the eyes of the beginner, many Cradles seem lax in piety, dress, service attendance, fasting, and Orthodox zeal versus ethnic identity. These can be a great temptation.

So, what’s a Southern Orthodox Convert to do? Assimilation with the Protestant milieu is not an option. Been there, was that. Christianity plus icons and Typicon is not the answer. Why bother? Becoming a dirt-eating-tree-hugging Druid is not the way. I mean, really. Then again, these options are all alive and "well" within the Church. And that may be okay, as far as God’s concerned, but it comes close to grits without salt for a Southerner.

Thanks to the War Between the States and Reconstruction, Southerners have a strong distrust of outside authority. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." There’s an underdog thread that binds us together. Yet when asked to perform a task by those in authority, one can bet it shall be done. We are teachable. However, all things must be in accord with proper respect. Our experience teaches that there’s virtue in losing when done graciously. Nevertheless, we have strong suspicions regarding authority. Those in positions of Orthodox leadership would do well to familiarize themselves with the norms of Southern behaviour and expectations. After all, if you are serious about evangelizing another land, which the South definitely is, you would do no less!

This is not to say that the South should secede from the ethnic Orthodoxy of the North. Rather, Southern Orthodoxy should be allowed to flourish with its own personality and character with proper hierarchical oversight. Any community that can appreciate this and encourage Southerners toward the Kingdom within their own Southern culture will do well in making solid Converts to the Faith in Dixie.

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I’m a Southerner. I was born and reared a Southern Baptist; educated as an Episcopalian, and converted to Orthodox Christianity a decade ago. Since then, I’ve been struggling to be Orthodox. As a missionary priest, I’ve also struggled to bring others to Orthodoxy in the South. More than anything, I’ve learned that I have a lot to learn. I’ve also concluded that Orthodoxy, in its plethora of jurisdictions, will have to learn some things, appreciate some things, about Southern Culture before ever being truly successful in bringing Southerners to the Faith.

I was reared in a small town near Charlotte, North Carolina. Growing up, I never met a Jew, much less a Muslim. Lutherans were rare enough in my hometown, much less Roman Catholics. Basically, we were Baptists and Methodists, blacks and whites. I’d never even heard of Orthodox Christianity until I was on my way to the Episcopal seminary in the 1980’s. Come to think of it, I’ll bet most folks in my hometown still have never heard of Orthodoxy.

No Orthodox jurisdiction ever sent missionaries to the South. Most Converts have stumbled upon the Faith only after many years of searching. If this were different, perhaps more progress would be apparent in bridging the gap between East and South. Like St Innocent who helped convert the natives of Alaska by "Incarnating" their native faith thereby bringing them to Christ, would that someone had intentionally helped the South to grow out of its native Protestantism into the fullness of the Christian Faith. Instead, many of the "ethnic churches" resemble Protestant churches with icons and the assimilation, at least with church practices, has moved away from traditional Orthodox practice toward Protestant norms. Such a vacuum allows Converts to flounder toward the Kingdom while accumulating various practices from the smorgasbord of Orthodoxy in America. It also lends itself to parish and/or jurisdiction hopping in hopes of finding the fittest vessel, the most correct iconography, the willing guru, etc.

I have heard that the seminaries in Russia are bursting with future priests. We have a priest shortage in America, they may soon have a glut in Russia. It wouldn’t surprise me if they sent some of those men to this country to evangelize. That would certainly wake us from our jurisdictional squabbling and anti-Christian stupor! Maybe our constant judging and nitpicking would be tempered by some honest to goodness evangelism?

Face it, the smorgasbord of Orthodox jurisdictions makes absolutely no sense to most Converts. Finding the True Faith is encumbered by also finding a dozen administrative bodies claiming to be really it! I was once told by a monk "All monks are in communion with each other." Though said in jest, very much like a tightly knit ethnic community which fellowships within its own ethnic world, the same can be said of Converts -- the majority of which are in the South.

We Southerners have many weaknesses. Paramount is our ingratiating spirit. We deliberately set out to gain others’ favour by winsome actions. Hopelessly people-pleasing we are! Being "cut from this cloth," we also have a weakness for taking a man at his word. If you tell us that you’re going to do something, more often than not, we expect you’ll do it. If you don’t, there’s a good chance that you’ll lose our trust, permanently. This behaviour will differ between Southerners and Southerners and Southerners and Outsiders. Like any ethnic group, we trust our own a while longer. Yet, to a Southerner, duplicity appears rampant in American Orthodoxy. Arabs, Russians, and other cultures are accustomed to hubris and other blustering within daily discourse. In the South, we expect it of politicians. We discourage it in decent folks. Integrity, in the South, is expected of church leaders. Having found the True Faith we’re confused by contradictory words and actions which often emanate from the various jurisdictional hierarchs.

When I first became Orthodox in the Antiochian jurisdiction, someone suggested that I read a book entitled "The Arab Mind" to get a sense of my newly adopted church culture. The book claimed that, in Arabic, the root word for eloquence and exaggeration is the same. An Arab may exaggerate to show machismo. For instance, a man may shout across a street corner to another "I hate you." The other man replies, "I not only hate you, I’m going to kill you!" The man retorts "I’m going to kill you and your family!" Etc. These same men may later be found sharing a friendly meal together. Words fail me in describing how this same dialogue might have ended in the South. Put it this way, funeral processions still stall traffic in these parts.

Contrary to outsiders’ perceptions, Southerners do not put on airs. Though we may be hospitable, friendly, and civil, what you see is what you get. If we share openly with you, it means we trust you. Once you break that trust, it may be irreparable. All are welcomed here. Yet, we are easily offended. If offended, the offending party will be cut off till reparation. Our people-pleasing nature lends itself to over-sensitivity. It just comes with the territory. In the South, admiration comes easy, respect is earned over time.

Like all those outside Paradise, Southerners gossip. In a region where being idle is considered a virtue, idle talk ain’t far behind! I don’t mean the kind of vindictive gossip popularized by Soap Operas and other media. (Though we have that too.) Rather, Southerners carry on conversations in a way that others might view as gossiping. And, God help us, at times it is. Yet, often this is a manner of couching subjects within an engaging tale. It’s the way we talk around here.

Southerners are self-effacing. We can take criticism if it’s properly couched in civility and/or humour. For us, if direct confrontation is necessary, things have already gone too far! Sometimes our neighbors to the North skip all the niceties and cut right to the chase. (Northern aggression continues.) And, since all the Orthodox jurisdictions hail from a different culture with the "home offices" up North, this element of cultural war persists within church dynamics. Brutal honesty is not only unwelcome but most often rejected in the South.

Before attending my first gathering of Clergy and Church Wardens in the Russian Church, I was asked about the nature and agenda of the meeting. I said, "Well, they’ll probably argue and yell at each other for a few hours and then we’ll have lunch. After lunch, they’ll argue and yell some more then we’ll kiss each other goodbye and go home." I’m no prophet, but boy was I ever on the mark with that prediction! In such a setting you can recognize the Southerner -- he’s the one with his mouth shut. If asked, were he honest, he’d say "I think you all are crazy." But, "don’t ask, don’t tell" has always been policy where I’m from. Being slightly dishonest in the name of civility is considered a virtue.

You yell at a Southerner and it may have eternal consequences. When we speak, all that’s required of you is to listen politely until it’s your turn. We don’t take kindly yelling, interruption, jeering, or public ridicule. We may not break bread with you until there’s resolution. You don’t have to agree, mind you. But, you must behave in such a way that assures civil discussion and debate. It may be that we take things personally. But, we operate on the assumption that you do to. Therefore, quite selfishly, the Golden Rule applies no matter what your rank or station.

Northerners are most often defined by their family’s nation of origin. This type of identification is foreign to the South. Here, folks are identified by their family name and/or their religious affiliation. I’ve often heard Northerners speak of someone as being Italian, Ukrainian, German, etc. Along with this description is the implied religion of those being described (Roman Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, etc). This is not the case in the South. Here, folks are defined by their religion: Baptist, Episcopalian, Methodist, Charismatic. So it is that Northern Orthodox are often amazed that Christians would intentionally convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. What an idea! Can you convert from Italian to German?

Folks in the rural South usually attend the church nearest their home. In the country, you’ll find mostly Baptists, Methodists, and Pentecostals. Towns will have Presbyterian and Episcopalian churches. And, here and there, you’ll find Lutheran pockets and an occasional Roman Catholic church. Latins and Lutherans may have a bit of a drive or live within a "family burb." However, Presbyterian and especially Episcopalian churches are populated with many who have "worked their way up" to that denomination. Your particular brand of Christianity may be a status symbol in the South. Unfortunately, viewed from such binoculars, Orthodoxy can seem a step down. Forgive me, but to a proper Episcopalian, Orthodoxy can seem down right barbaric!

When expected, don’t be surprised if a Southerner shows up early and leaves late. We don’t understand "Orthodox People Time." If you tell a Southerner that something starts at 6:00 pm, he’ll most likely arrive at 5:45. We don’t want to miss a thing! We’re not only unaccustomed to the Orthodox habit of being late, we find it rude and uncivilized. Also, Southerners usually don’t leave without saying Goodbye, many times. This process of departing may take 30 minutes or better.

Southern culture is, at least, as relevant as other forms of ethnicity -- whether "Orthodox" or not. We Converts appreciate the foods and festivities of our adopted culture. But, must we discard our norms and ways and replace them with those of traditionally Orthodox lands? Fund raising’s fine, but what about tithing? Lamb’s good, but so is pork barbecue. Pascha and kollich is festive, but that first bite of pecan pie is just as heavenly. Can such Southern gatherings as Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, family reunions, BBQs, and oyster roasts be "baptized" into Orthodoxy? It’s too early to tell. Orthodoxy is new to the South. And it’s yet to be seen whether the two can melt into one God-pleasing flavour.

Converts have lots of extended family and friends that remain Protestant. Thus, most find themselves in awkward situations. Wednesdays and Fridays may not be as difficult to negotiate as is the Peter & Paul Fast or fasting for Easter and Christmas. I baptized a man who, for years, had hosted the family pig-picking on July 4th. Of course, that’s often a fast day. But that was his one big family obligation. I remember a couple that I’d chrismated and had moved away. The next major fast to come along, I called to see how they were doing. They, in jest I suppose, replied "Oh, we’re doing fine. We’re just eating over at our [non-Orthodox] friends’ each evening!"

The pendulum may swing otherwise. You’ve seen them: the "Orthodox Taliban." The man grows long hair and beard, forgets how to smile. The woman covers herself from head to toe -- her modesty smothers her dignity. They both stop bathing. There’s no visible joy in their life. Their wrists are covered with wool knots. They eat only broccoli; tofu is reserved for feast days. They begin shopping for a home -- preferably a tent or a lean-to -- out in the woods, sans the burden of electricity. These things may not be harmful in and of themselves. Yet oftentimes, when Converts confuse such "asceticism" with Orthodoxy, it can have dire results.

Through Catechism, reading of the Fathers, and other instruction, Converts fashion an ideal Orthodoxy toward which to struggle. Then, they might get to know some of the "Cradle Orthodox" only to be turned off. This can develop into a dichotomy leading to judgmentalism, Pharisee-ism, and a sort of Convert-Superior-Orthodoxy which is, needless to say, far from the ideal! We must all struggle toward the ideal in humility. Thanks to the lackadaisical piety of some Cradles, this can present a great challenge. To the eyes of the beginner, many Cradles seem lax in piety, dress, service attendance, fasting, and Orthodox zeal versus ethnic identity. These can be a great temptation.

So, what’s a Southern Orthodox Convert to do? Assimilation with the Protestant milieu is not an option. Been there, was that. Christianity plus icons and Typicon is not the answer. Why bother? Becoming a dirt-eating-tree-hugging Druid is not the way. I mean, really. Then again, these options are all alive and "well" within the Church. And that may be okay, as far as God’s concerned, but it comes close to grits without salt for a Southerner.

Thanks to the War Between the States and Reconstruction, Southerners have a strong distrust of outside authority. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." There’s an underdog thread that binds us together. Yet when asked to perform a task by those in authority, one can bet it shall be done. We are teachable. However, all things must be in accord with proper respect. Our experience teaches that there’s virtue in losing when done graciously. Nevertheless, we have strong suspicions regarding authority. Those in positions of Orthodox leadership would do well to familiarize themselves with the norms of Southern behaviour and expectations. After all, if you are serious about evangelizing another land, which the South definitely is, you would do no less!

This is not to say that the South should secede from the ethnic Orthodoxy of the North. Rather, Southern Orthodoxy should be allowed to flourish with its own personality and character with proper hierarchical oversight. Any community that can appreciate this and encourage Southerners toward the Kingdom within their own Southern culture will do well in making solid Converts to the Faith in Dixie.

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Hi Mom.

Sorry. That just seemed like the most appropriate thing to say ... first.
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