Saturday, October 30, 2004

 

Axios (Elect) !

At the Fall Meeting of the Local Archdiocesan Synod, which convened under the presidency of His Eminence Metropolitan PHILIP Friday (10/19) in Naples, Florida, the following priests were elected for the sacred episcopacy in the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America:

1 - ARCHIMANDRITE THOMAS JOSEPH of St Nicholas/Pinellas Park, FL, is Bishop Elect of the Diocese of Pittsburgh and the East.

2 - ARCHIMANDRITE RAFEEK MUFARRIJ of St Mary/Hunt Valley, MD, is Bishop Elect of the Diocese of Ottawa and Upstate New York.

3 - PRIEST MARK MAYMON of St George/Grand Rapids, MI, is Bishop Elect of the Diocese of Toledo and the Midwest.

No dates have yet been set for their consecrations.

May God preserve them & grant them many years!

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Friday, October 29, 2004

 

Sisyphus & the Nastification of America

So you're voting for Bush because he's Pro-life? Great! But don't just be an election year Pro-lifer: Do something in between elections. Help out as a sidewalk counselor outside an abortion mill. Contribute money to Pro-life organizations. Volunteer at a pregnancy helping agency. Adopt! Something.

Maybe even disconnect your Cable.

I guess what I'm saying is, if your opposition to abortion is strong, as it should be, then yelling about it in the fall and doing something else for months in between is just ... well, playing. You are a Pro-life Pretender.

Everyday there are women, many teens, making heart-rending decisions that will scar them for life ... and possibly end that of their baby's.

"Hey, whaddya want me to do? I voted for Bush" -- just doesn't cut it.

We can't have it both ways. We, as a people, obviously support Porn being broadcast via Cable and Satellite into our homes daily. We let our children watch gutter trash -- and many parents let their children dress like prostitutes. Sex is more prevalent than ... well, sex. And then what? We expect our children to be abstinent in the midst of such enormous temptation? Teens? Do you remember being a teen? Can you imagine being a teen in a world where the adults want you to see sex, dress like sex, rap about sex, and then ... not have sex?

Lord have mercy.

Face it. Everyone puts on their "holier-than-thou" attitude at election time ... then goes back to watching Britney Spears in between times.

The problem with sex is that most folks are interested in it, intrigued & tempted by it. Like the weather, it's something we all hold in common. But unlike the weather, which we can't control, we can do something about what's broadcast on TV and available on the Web. Don't support it. True, it's hard not to look. Try harder. And for goodness sake: Shield your children from it. It's soul corrupting.

I remember being a kid, sitting in the back of the library with my pals and looking at National Geographic and hunting for cuss words in the Dictionary. (Sorry mom.) But for heaven's sake, that sounds almost virtuous compared to today's resources! I would be willing to bet that if you are reading this at your computer, and you've been using online services for a year or more, you've seen Internet Porn. (Some of you may even be addicted.) Do you think your children haven't? Chances are they soon will.

I'm the chief of sinners and no prude. (Come to think of it, we could use more prudes.) But when visiting Europe I noticed that topless females were used to sell toothpaste in TV ads. (Sorry, I can't remember the brand.) However, to me, that's not nearly as prurient as a fully clothed model eating a Hardee's hamburger while riding a mechanical bull -- an ad currently being broadcast in America. We Americans just have a way of nastifying things.

A Russian Orthodox priest once told me about watching a sporting event with his saintly bishop. He and fellow clergy knew that the bishop enjoyed soccer, but didn't watch TV. They had a get together to watch the World Cup -- which was delightful, until the beer commercials. The bishop stared at the half nude seductresses on the screen, then looked around at his priests and, quite innocently, asked: "So you all watch this?" Needles to say, their embarrassment led to a soccerless time of brotherly fellowship.

Pregnancies don't just happen. A woman or girl is not just walking along one day and discovers she's with child. Young or old, females don't just wake up one day and decide to have a abortion (i.e., kill someone). Good heavens! No. Rather, it takes having sex to make a baby. (I realize that science is trying to change that, but I've yet to hear of someone aborting a child conceived artificially.)

Is it still within our collective creative power to think of some other topic? Is there no art worth broadcasting? Must even the sports, arts, and visual entertainments that are worthy be supported by the sex industry?

Do you support the sex industry and oppose abortion?

Do you oppose abortion and support the sex industry?

This sounds like Sisyphus rolling that big stone up the hill, only to have it roll back down on top of him. Over and over, amen. In a word, hell.

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

 

Dibbles & Dabbles ...

Local beauty, the time of year, Western North Carolina.
Thx: Huw

Do Muslims & Christians worship the same God? W's catechism.
Thx: World

Cool new Orthodox info site: Directions to Orthodoxy.

Planned Parenthood & your tax dollars promote sex to six year olds.
Thx: Dawn

Luther's Loo a Relic?
Thx: Karl

At our last Clergy Symposium, Metropolitan PHILIP stated that the Church does not need to restore the order of Deaconnesses to fulfill Her ministry. Others disagree.

Dear Mr President, do Episcopalians worship the same God? Last week I posted an old PECUSA joke here. Today I read that the Episcopalians may be officially adopting pagan rituals.
Thx: Touchstone

Finally, a little humor ... Cards Not Sold By HALLMARK

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

 

Football Diaries

Last Friday I traveled to my home town and alma mater, North Stanly High School, for Homecoming. I'd not been back since I was graduated 25 years ago. What drew me was the visit of my old football coach, Jim Cullivan. He's almost 84, still chews tobacco, and looks only a few years older than when he last coached us in 1977. I'd already been writing up some of my favorite "Cullivan stories" -- which my oldest daughter loves to hear -- when I received word that Coach was going to be in town. For what it's worth, I've posted some of those old football stories here.

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Cullyrock

Not that he was tall, muscular, or imposing, mind you; but Coach Cullivan was a giant. He was a rough and country ol’ hillbilly. He was also a psychological master. He got in your head. It began with the gimlet eye. Coach Cullivan had piercing eyes that, whether he was aware of it or not, saw into your secret chest ... where you hid yourself. If he liked what he saw, he brought it out and made you keep it. If he didn’t, he helped you to maim, pillage, and kill it.

Like most giants in my life, I hated him. That’s the way the dance begins. Akin to breakdancing the initial dance with giants is rough, awkward, painful. Then there’s the slow dance that’s comforting and understandable. And when the dance is almost over – though you don’t know it till it is – the party really begins. It ends too soon. But you know how to dance ... all by yourself.

“The frost is on the pumpkin!” That was Coach Cullivan’s seasonal mantra. What he meant was that the games were about to begin. After four to six weeks of practice, even the weather was getting ready to participate in the sport of the gods: Football.

I’ve spent about 30 years telling Culivan stories. There’s no need to embellish them, the truth will suffice. He’d never make it in today’s politically correct world. Unfortunately, people don’t dance like they used to.

Coach Cullivan was a portly fellow with liver spots, grey eyes, thinning hair, and a set of lungs. A necessity of the job: he could yell. Football is the only sport I know of where when someone screams your name, your last name, with terror in their eyes and a blast in their voice, it’s a good thing. At least it’s good if you’re a bench warmer.

“Huneycutt!” I’d been giggling and swapping stories with my other bench buddies. We were freshmen and in no fear of game time.

“Huneycutt! Where’s Huneycutt!” Huneycutt was a familiar name in those parts. He could have been yelling for anyone.

“Huneycutt!” O my gosh. “Get in there!” See what I mean? What he meant was that someone had screwed up or gotten hurt and now it was my shot at the big show.

High school football in rural North Carolina is second only to church. And that’s probably due to a shorter season: church is year round. A good showing in a big game will grant you a lifetime of fame within a small kingdom. You, too, may be a big fish in a small pond.

I don’t remember that first showing. In fact, I remember precious few game moments: sacking QB Rick Ferebee (the picture was in the paper); pulverizing a little guy in the backfield once when I lucked up; being on the bottom of a huge pile and anonymously pinching & poking the baby-fat of the best player in the county; barely missing blocking a game-winning field goal. Then there’s one other personal game memory, which I’ll get to later.

My memories are all about practice. Coach Cullivan loved football practice. In my experience, the North Stanly Comets never won many games. But golly did we ever practice!

Coach had rules about fighting during practice. If two guys got into a shoving match, he might simply yell at them, shove them apart, and let it go. If it came to blows, that was a different matter. Those who weren’t fighting were, at Coach’s direction, gathered around in a circle with the boxers in the center. If they wanted to stay on the team, the two had to continue fighting until Coach Cullivan blew his whistle. He would always allow them to fight until every drop of energy was expended. I’ve seen guys laying there, looking like they were simply trying to move their arm around to the other side, in a sleepy haze. Once they were exhausted, he’d sound his whistle and we’d get back to practicing, sans the fighters. The only thing left for them to do was to run 10 laps after practice, holding hands. As I recall we only had one fight per season.

Anyone who has ever played organized football is familiar with two-a-days: practice in the morning and later in the evening. Coach Cullivan did that one better. At football camp we had three-a-days. We practiced before breakfast, after lunch, and before dinner ... late dinner.

Our archrival was the city school, the Albemarle Bulldogs. My first tour of football camp was in Reedy Creek, North Carolina, in the summer of 1976. That year, Coach Cullivan taught us a chant: “I'm a Comet, tough and mean, whip any Dog I’ve ever seen!” We had to chant it while we ran laps, during calisthenics, and before and after meals. Coach Cullivan rarely lost to the Albemarle Bulldogs.

The “board drill” was a test of coordination, timing, skill, and brute strength. A plank of wood, 2x4, was placed on the ground and two opponents straddled the wood and crouched in stance anticipating the whistle’s blast. Board drills were fairly predictable: biggest or meanest guy wins. Every now and then we were surprised by a smaller guy’s strength. But normally, football acts normally.

Now before I continue with the story of the board drill in July of 1976, I have to tell you about David Hoff. I don’t remember the year, it may have been before or after Reedy Creek. No matter; it’s necessary background.

In the off season all football players were required to take 5th period gym class with Coach Cullivan. Actually, it wasn’t just in the off season, during season we simply began practice early.

Anyway, Coach would have us do some silly things to help coordination. One such activity was playing basketball, full court with a football. And yes, we had to [try to] dribble. In addition to calisthenics, running, and weight lifting, we also had to wrestle each other.

Coach would normally pair opponents who were fairly equal in strength and agility. Competition helped to build character – and what good was a character puffed up by weaker opponents?

Some guys just never get with the program. Not everyone is thrilled to work up a sweat. David Hoff was one of them. During times of random rotation, everyone on the team enjoyed wrestling David. He was an easy pin. You could tell he had a complex of some sort. He didn’t want to be there. God bless him, he looked like a loser.

One day, after he’d lost his third consecutive match, Coach Cullivan yanked him up off the mat and slapped him across the face. Hoff flinched, his fists balled. Cullivan yelled, “Hit me!” Hoff was tearing up and said, “I can’t hit you, Coach.” Cullivan hauled off and slapped him again. Stunned, red faced, and crying, Hoff again flinched. He almost brought up a hand. Through tears he said, “I can’t hit you, Coach.” Somewhere during the pregnant pause, Hoff decided to pat the Coach across the cheek. “Dammit, Hoff, I said, Hit me!” With that Coach Cullivan went to hit the boy again and David Hoff slapped the fool out of Jim Cullivan. “Now get down there and wrestle,” Coach said.

David Hoff beat every single man on the team that afternoon. Though we were all amazed, no one was more surprised than Mr. Hoff. I’ve not seen him since graduation, but I’ve got to believe his life changed that day.

Okay. Back to the board drill. My friend, Jimmy Barnes, was a scrapper. He tried hard, but sometimes ran out of steam – quit fighting – before it was time. Barry Davis, on the other hand, was a star player: handsome, big, and would flat out knock you down!

On a blasted hot day in July of 1976, during the board drill portion of three-a-days, Coach Cullivan paired Jimmy Barnes with Barry Davis. After the two players had gotten into their stance, he’d no sooner blown the whistle when Barnes was on his butt and Barry trotted over him victoriously.

Instead of yelling, “Next!” Coach had us all gather ‘round. He made Barry and Jimmy get into position once again. As they held their stance, Coach began to talk. He lectured us on the board drill, how it worked, what to look and listen for, and how to win. After what seemed a ridiculously long time he said, “How many of you think Barry Davis is going to win?” Every single North Stanly Comet raised his hand. “Now. How many of you think Jimmy Barnes is going to win?” Only one hand went up: Jim Cullivan’s.

The next thing to happen was another speech. Coach Cullivan reached down behind Barnes and pulled a hair off his right leg. When Barnes flinched, he was told not to move. For the next 10 minutes, with every sentence or two, Barnes lost a leg hair, while Coach Cullivan sang praises of his potential.

The whistle blew. There was a loud crash. Jimmy Barnes flattened the star. Everyone, save Jim Cullivan, was astounded – especially Barry Davis. Coach made Barry go sit on the bus to watch the remainder of practice. Both men grew that day.

Coach wasn’t always on his best behaviour. There was one game where he threw a whole bag of footballs onto the field in protest of something the refs had done. He never cussed, not the way most folks do. Rather, he said things like, “Gee-My-Nittley!” A lot. We only heard him say the “N” word once. Mind you, my high school was 51% black ... but when Stephon Bullware did something in error, I don’t remember what, he was called to the sidelines and, in front of God and everyone, was heard: “I’m the head nigger ‘round here!” Due to creeping sensitivities (even back in the 70's), white guys hardly ever told that story – at least not as much as our black brethren did (with a smile).

Back at football camp in Reedy Creek, we practiced on baseball fields. In other words, there was a lot of sand. One drill that was repeated over and over was called: “pull the trigger”. That’s where you dive at the feet of the ball runner and wrap up his ankles. Sand has a way of tearing up the flesh during such enterprises. Only those who’d performed the routine correctly bled. Coach told us that the scars would help to remind us what to do come game time.

Here’s where my game story comes in. There was a memorable game where, having made my way into the opponents’ backfield, I found myself trailing the running back as he approached the goal line. It was ingrained in my brain like an earworm: “Pull the trigger! Pull the trigger, Huneycutt!” I pulled the trigger. It was text book. All except for the part where the runner’s heel connected with my chin. The nicest way to say this is: It really hurt. But in those days, I played both offense and defense. There was no time to rest.

A few plays later I realized that my chin strap felt warm and wet. Unbuckling it, I also noticed it was red. Very red. I turned to my partner, Marcus Harward, and said, “Am I bleeding?” Instead of “Gee-My-Nittley,” Marcus said something worse. For the only time, voluntarily, in my football career, I ran to the sidelines. I showed Coach Cullivan my chin. He yelled at the Trainer to get me a band-aid. He sent me back into game saying, “It’s just a scratch, you’ll be alright.” I played the rest of the game. We lost. At game’s end I noticed Cullivan talking with my parents. He took me to the Emergency Room in his own car. We didn’t have a whole lot to talk about on the way. As they were stitching me up (nine, if I recall), he was asked if he were my father. I couldn’t believe those folks didn’t know who he was. For me, he was monumental; but he wasn’t my Dad. We talked as little on the way home. I didn’t need to tell him that I now had a constant reminder of pulling the trigger. Yet for me, riding alone with the man to and from the hospital was worth the pain.

Then there was the time, back at Camp ‘76, when Steve Dial, Jimmy Barnes, and I were late for dinner. All three of us loved music – kept up with Casey Kasem’s American Top-40 – and were, though it was against the rules, listening to a transistor radio out by the showers. I’m almost ashamed to say that we were eagerly awaiting Starland Vocal Band’s “Afternoon Delight”. By the time it played, and we’d sang along with gusto, we were late to shower, even later to dinner. No one said anything to us. The coaching staff was downright friendly. It wasn’t until dinner’s end, as it poured rain outside, that Coach Cullivan made a speech about singing. He said he liked to sing. He understood that there were others in our midst that loved to sing. (By now we were starting to worry.) And, though he appreciated singing, we should always show up for scheduled events on time. With that he announced that three football players would now perform “I'm a Comet ...” for the enjoyment of the assembly ... and whilst running 20 laps outside in the courtyard (in the pouring rain).

My senior year saw my first season under a new coach. Cullivan had gone on to coach somewhere else. As I’d mentioned earlier, we hadn’t won many games under him. At the time, most of us were convinced that being shed of him would lead to better things: namely, victory.

Though we won more games than the previous year, I’m not sure we were the better for it. Coach Cullivan always had us to stay on the school’s campus, under his eye, from the time school got out til kickoff, on game days. We even ate dinner together. Not so with the new coach. We were teens, we weren’t up to much good. Doing the right thing, even on game day, was not always a priority.

Heck, back during my junior year, Coach Cullivan even interfered with our love lives. It seems that he thought that attention to our girlfriends was causing us sufficient distraction to lose football games. Following a loss on the road, as the bus pulled into home turf, he announced that none of us would be allowed to even speak to a female – except family members & teachers – from that point until next week’s game. If so caught or reported, we’d be kicked off the team. His coaching assistants actually called our homes during that week to make sure we were home after practice. Teachers were instructed to narc on offenders. Though the girls had fun with it, and more than a few players were hauled in for questioning, we all made it through that week. We beat the crap out of the next bunch of males we faced.

So here we were, senior year, Cullivan-less and losing ... to Albemarle. It was the final minutes of the game. We’d been struggling long and hard for a touchdown. The Bulldogs seemed to be scoring at will. There was only 2:46 left on the clock. We were on the 18 yard line. It was third and long. We were worn out.

Like a scene from a movie, Roger Prince came running into the huddle yelling, “It’s him! It’s him! See him? It’s Mister C! Cullyrock is here!” We didn’t believe him; hadn’t heard from the old man since he left. In unison we all looked down the length of the field to the opposing goal. There stood a figure whose long dark drench coat was flapping in the wind. He had his hands in his pockets and stood motionless. I almost cried. We all looked at each other with eyes that revealed shame, for ever wishing the man gone; fear, at the possibility of letting him down; and, amazement: “Gosh, he’s here!”

I’ve already told you it was like a movie, so you know what comes next: we scored. With the extra point, we went up by 2. With over two minutes remaining, all Albemarle had to do was get a 3-point field goal and our worst fears would materialize.

Every year, every team – regardless of coach – practices a couple outrageous plays. These are plays that you rarely see in real life. They’re there just in case. What came next was a perfect example. Barry Davis was our place kicker. The Bulldogs were ready, we were scared. The whistle sounded, and as Barry trotted up to kick the ball ... he fell down. Our opponents stood up; there was laughter from the visitors’ bleachers. Kevin Chandler, who was standing by the bal, squib-kicked a perfect onside kick – just like we’d rehearsed it! We recovered. I’m not sure the Bulldogs ever did:
“I'm a Comet, tough and mean ... whip any Dog I’ve ever seen!”
God bless Jim Cullivan: a rock upon which we all built our manhood.

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Monday, October 25, 2004

 

Two Mamma Saga

"It took me a lot of struggle to realize that I really was attracted to men, yet now it is really hard for me to deal with men as human beings, let alone sexually." There was more along those lines -- Ry was intrigued but "repulsed" by heterosexual relations, afraid of the "sexist soul-losing domain of oppression....I cannot understand or relate to men because I am so immersed in gay culture and unfamiliar with what it is to have a healthy straight relationship."

Ry suddenly sat up straight. "I think it's cool how critical I am of the heterosexual world," she said. "It is sexist and gross."

To read more about the life of a girl, Ry, raised by lesbians, go here.

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Friday, October 22, 2004

 

Prayer & Bad Thoughts

In the hour of prayer, when our mind wanders to thoughts of bad things, or if these thoughts come without our wanting them, we shouldn't wage an offensive war against the enemy, because, even if all the lawyers in the world joined together, they wouldn't make any headway with a little demon. Only through ignoring them can one chase these thoughts away. The same is true for blasphemous thoughts.

Elder Paisios the Athonite
(Thanks to Fr Josiah Trenham for the above FWD.)

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Church Flap In Jerusalem: Bad Blood - And Saliva

The following article is a follow up to this one.

By Eric J. Greenberg, October 22, 2004

It has been Jerusalem's dirty little secret for decades: Orthodox yeshiva students and other Jewish residents vandalizing churches and spitting on Christian clergyman as they walk along the narrow, ancient stone streets of the Old City.

Now, however, following a highly publicized fracas last week between a yeshiva student and the archbishop of Jerusalem's Armenian Church, the issue is generating unprecedented media attention in Israel. The fight started after a yeshiva student at the respected Har Hamor yeshiva spat on Archbishop Nourhan Manougian during a Christian holy procession in the Old City.

In the wake of the incident, a top Armenian Church official told the Forward that his church is calling on the Israeli government and on rabbis around the world to help put a stop to the offensive, decades-long abuse.

"These ultra-Orthodox Jews are the ones causing this scandal, those that live here in our neighborhood and the ones that come visit the Western Wall," said the church official, Aris Shirvanian, in a phone interview Monday. He spoke from the patriarchate's world headquarters in the Armenian Quarter, one of the famed four quarters of the Old City of Jerusalem.

"We would like to see the authorities... become more strict with the offenders," said Shirvanian, director of ecumenical and foreign relations of the Armenian Patriarchate. "We would also ask rabbis to get involved in educating this one sector of the Jewish society."

Har Hamor is one of the leading institutions of religious Zionism, Israel's equivalent of Modern Orthodoxy. Most sources interviewed for this article suggested that the abusive practices were more common in the ultra-Orthodox or Haredi community, which is characterized by greater insularity.

The controversy comes as the Israeli government and Diaspora Jewish organizations have been viewed for this article suggested that the abusive practices were more common in the ultra-Orthodox or Haredi community, which is characterized by greater insularity. But sources told the Forward that the pratice has recently been picked up by other segments of the Orthodox world, including visiting American yeshiva students.

The controversy comes as the Israeli government and Diaspora Jewish organizations have been attempting to focus international attention on what they describe as a surge in antisemitism across the globe. Beyond potentially undermining these efforts, the reports of anti-Christian harassment could weaken Israel's claim to be an effective guardian of Christian and Muslim rights in Jerusalem.

"Protection of everything sacred to other religions is one of the justifications for Israel's sovereignty in Jerusalem, whose legitimacy will be undermined if this spitting becomes prevalent," said a former Israeli chief rabbi, Israel Meir Lau. Lau condemned the harassment, and warned that such incidents could fuel antisemitism outside of Israel.

Besides the Armenian rite, clergy of other Christian churches have been targeted, Shirvanian said. "This is not happening only to Armenian clergy, but also to the Catholics, Syrians, Romanians and Greek Orthodox."

Following the incident involving Manougian, numerous Israeli government officials and Jewish religious and organizational leaders have stepped forward to condemn the acts.

Interior Minister Avraham Poraz called the yeshiva students' behavior "intolerable," and asked Internal Security Minister Gideon Ezra to "take all the necessary steps to prevent these incidents in the future."

The chairman of the Knesset's Interior and Environment Committee, Yuri Stern, said the incidents resulted from ignorance and stupidity. He called for changes in how Christianity is taught in Israeli schools.

Jerusalem mayor Uri Lupoliansky, the city's first ultra-Orthodox chief executive, announced that he would appoint an adviser to deal with the problem of Jewish harassment of religious minorities in Jerusalem and to provide recommendations to improve interfaith relations in the city.

According to Shirvanian, church officials are frequently subjected to spitting, from yeshiva students as well as from ultra-Orthodox women and young children. He said ultra-Orthodox Jews also throw garbage on church doorsteps and break windows at churches and at Christian homes.

Daniel Rossing, a former adviser on Christian affairs at Israel's Religious Affairs Ministry, said there has been an increase in the number of such incidents recently, "as part of a general atmosphere of lack of tolerance in the country."

"I know Christians who lock themselves indoors during the entire Purim holiday" for fear of being attacked by Jews, said Rossing, now the director of a Jerusalem center for Christian-Jewish dialogue.

A spate of recent incidents has been reported in the press:

* A few weeks ago, an elderly man wearing a yarmulke spat on a senior Greek Orthodox cleric who was entering a government office in Jerusalem's Givat Shaul section.

* Stars of David were spray-painted on the entrance to the Monastery of the Cross, not far from the Knesset. The Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Cathedral, near Jerusalem police headquarters in the so-called Russian Compound in downtown Jerusalem, suffered similar vandalism.

* Officials at a church located near several yeshivas complained that the students were watching them through binoculars and making offensive gestures when they passed by. Churches located in several Orthodox neighborhoods in Jerusalem complained that neighbors had thrown garbage into their yards.

The Armenian call for action comes several days after Manougian was spat upon while leading a procession marking the Exaltation of the Holy Cross near the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in the Old City.

In response, Manougian slapped the yeshiva student, Natan Zvi Rosenthal, 21, a resident of Beersheva. During the ensuing brawl Manougian's cross medallion, worn by Armenian archbishops since the 17th century, was damaged.

Police questioned both men. The Jerusalem District Court barred Rosenthal from entering the Old City for 75 days.

Israel's failure to impose a harsher penalty drew sharp criticism from Manougian. "When there is an attack against Jews anywhere in the world, the Israeli government is incensed," the patriarch was quoted as saying. "So why, when our religion and pride are hurt, don't they take harsher measures?"

Rosenthal later apologized to Manougian during a special meeting at Jerusalem police headquarters late last week. In apologizing, he said he had been raised to view Christianity as idol worship, which is forbidden by the Torah.

Shirvanian later said the church had accepted Rosenthal's apology, as required by its religious tenets. "We had to forgive him in the Christian spirit," Shirvanian said, adding that the church now favors canceling Rosenthal's punishment.

On Sunday, Israel's Knesset held an emergency meeting and launched an investigation into the apparently rising level of assaults against Christian clergy and churches.

But by then, the incident was reverberating throughout the world, with more stories in the Israeli press of harassment and vandalism directed by Orthodox Jews against several denominations.

Even as the Knesset's Interior and Environment Committee was interviewing Christian leaders and Jerusalem officials, a 6-year-old Haredi boy spat on a young Armenian priest, Shirvanian told the Forward.

In keeping with a long-standing approach, the church did not report the second spitting incident to the police. "When a little boy and little girl do this, they are being taught by their parents," Shirvanian said. "Shall we punish them? It's more a matter of educating them and educating the adults."

The spitting on priests has been occurring "since the unification of Jerusalem in 1967," Shirvanian said.

Scholars contacted by the Forward cited several ancient rabbinic sources as potential sources of anti-Christian attitudes.

At least one talmudic passage advises Jews to say pejorative things when passing the homes or graves of idolators, and while most rabbinic authorities have denied Christianity was intended, some medieval commentators seem to suggest that some Jews viewed it that way, presumably reflecting Jewish resentment of Christian persecution.

Shirvanian said the Armenian church has generally "tried to ignore" the spitting incidents. He said most Christians do not report the incidents to the police because the authorities ignore them. "They just take the reports and of course, they release the offenders."

A Jerusalem police spokesman, Gil Kleiman, said that before the recent altercation involving the Armenian patriarch, it had been two years since the police handled a spitting incident.

Kleiman confirmed that Christian clergy complain the harassment is frequent. But it took the attack on the Armenian leader to transform the matter into a public issue and national embarrassment.

Shmuel Evyatar, a former adviser on Christian affairs to the mayor of Jerusalem, called the situation "a huge disgrace," adding that most of the instigators are yeshiva students studying in the Old City who view the Christian religion with disdain. "I'm sure the phenomenon would end as soon as rabbis and well-known educator denounce it. In practice, rabbis of yeshivas ignore or even encourage it," he said.

Rabbis from the Har Hamor yeshiva said that Rosenthal was the first student at their institution to be charged with such an offense. They said that they educate their students to be courteous to others and expressed regret over the spitting incident.

Rabbi Avi Shafran, a spokesman for Agudath Israel of America, the leading advocacy organization of ultra-Orthodox Judaism here, said he was unfamiliar with assaults on Christians and his organization has no role to play in stopping the harassment.

"Were something of the sort to occur in the United States, our rabbinic leadership would likely address the issue," Shafran said. "Since, though, the incident and the accusation of more widespread abuse have taken place in Israel, our rabbis would leave any response to the incident and to the demands of Armenian clergymen to the rabbinic leaders in the Holy Land."

Another American organization, the Anti-Defamation League, is speaking out on the issue. The ADL sent a letter to Israel's two chief rabbis, urging them to take quick and forceful action.

Rabbi David Rosen, the Jerusalem-based international director of interreligious affairs for the American Jewish Committee, said his Christian counterparts are "extremely upset" over the recent incidents. At the same time, he added that "they are also content, in a way, that the matter is now being taken seriously by the Israeli authorities."

With reporting from Ha'aretz in Israel.

Copyright 2004 © The Forward

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Thursday, October 21, 2004

 

Halloween Disses Witches!

Okay ... I might be able to support this.

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Pope makes gesture to Orthodox Church

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, Thursday, October 21, 2004

VATICAN CITY -- The pope won't be going to Istanbul, but in a gesture to the Orthodox Church he is returning the relics of two saints that were seized by Crusaders 800 years ago, Vatican officials said Thursday.

Ecumenical Patriarch Barthlomew I of Constantinople, the spiritual leader of Orthodox Christians, had asked for the return of the relics when he met with Pope John Paul II at the Vatican in June. At that time, he also invited the pope to visit the seat of the Orthodox Church in Istanbul.

Because of the 84-year-old pontiff's frail condition, the Vatican has reduced his foreign travel and he won't make the trip to Istanbul. John Paul visited Istanbul in 1979.

Instead, a Vatican delegation will return the relics at the end of November for the Orthodox feast day of Saint Andrew, officials said.

The relics - the bones of the patriarchs Saints John Chrysostom and Gregory Nazianzen - disappeared from Constantinople, the modern day Istanbul, in the sack of 1204 by Crusaders. They have been kept in St. Peter's Basilica.

The patriarch's June visit was intended to underline both sides' commitment to Christian unity and to restart stalled theological talks.

Christianity split into Western and Eastern branches in the 11th century over the growing power of the papacy, an issue that remains a principal source of division.

During his talks with Barthlomew, the pope had restated his remorse for the sacking of Constantinople that contributed to the collapse of the Byzantine Empire about three centuries later.

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Those Nutty Episcopalians

The organ blasts have given way to rave music and a light show ... the procession is led by the lesbian lover of the Anglican Bishopess who bears a statue of Buddha ... the congregation sings Hare Krishna hymns as the Bishopess places the statue on the altar alongside Hindu offerings ... the Bishopess turns to the crowd and says: "Goddess be with you!" That's when one old guy turns to his old pal and says, "Frank, I'm telling you, one more thing like this and I'm outta here!"

The crazy thing is, I enjoyed variations of that joke when I was still an Episcopalian!

How did such a grand ol' communion become such a nut farm?

My wife and I used to have T-shirts stating: "I'm One of Those Crazy Episcopalians." The cartoon character, male, beneath the logo was a priest bearing a bag full of churchy stuff -- Prayer Book, Chalice, Ciborium, etc. This was back in the mid-80's.

What would be in the bag now? (A rhetorical question; please don't answer! And, while I'm at it, get your mind out of the gutter!)

Now see. Isn't this silly? How have we, they, come to this?
This?

[Thanks to Penitent Blogger for above links.]

Unfortunately, the current trend is not for disenfranchised Episcopalians to convert to Orthodoxy. That wave was ten years ago after England voted yes on Priestesses. Rather, nowadays, joining a "breakaway" group is seen as a valid alternative. This is understandable. Because when you think about it, the real Breakaway group is headquartered at 815 Second Avenue. They've broken from ...
well,


Christianity.
As a friend of mine once said, "What constitutes proper health care changes entirely when the hospital's on fire."

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

 

HALLOWEEN: Other Views, Facts & Such

Below this article is one about Halloween "history". Knowing before posting it that the "history" was not 100% factual (even prove-able), I posted it nonetheless: 1) because I'd published it in past newsletters; 2) I've seen it lots of places, even Orthodox places, over the years; 3) I thought it would generate some discussion. Nothing like the topic of Halloween (save maybe Calendar arguments) to get the Orthodox all in a dither.

In fairness, here's a site & another with some different historical info on Halloween.

Here's a site on tolerance ... and here's even a Greek Orthodox priest in favor of the day!

Finally, this from a neo-pagan webpage:

Halloween is the modern name for Samhain, an ancient Celtic holy day which many Neopagans — especially Wiccans, Druids and Celtic Reconstructionists — celebrate as a spiritual beginning of a new year.

Halloween is a time to confront our personal and cultural attitudes towards death and those who have passed on before us.

Halloween is a time to lift the veil between the many material and spiritual worlds in divination, so as to gain spiritual insight about the pasts and futures.

Halloween is a time to deepen our connection to the cycles of the seasons, to the generations that have come before us and those that will follow, and to the Gods and Goddesses we worship.

Halloween is a time to let our inner children out to play, to pass on our childhood traditions to our children, and to share the fun with our friends and neighbors of many other faiths.
I don't know about you, but that's reason enough for me to still believe that an Orthodox Christian has no dog in this h[a]unt.

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Monday, October 18, 2004

 

HALLOWEEN: Because It's Fun!

I have a 10-year old daughter who was home schooled up to fourth grade. I've no idea if that's the determining factor, but it's not her I'm worried about. Though she's now in public school, a desire to participate in Halloween has not been shared, at least not with her dad.

My son, 6, would dive into the pagan & secular festival with all his might. Then again, he lives each moment like that. Missing one, annually, might not be such a big deal. We'll soon find out.

The baby, 2, hasn't yet a clue.

Growing up Baptist, I always participated in Halloween. I don't remember hearing any anti-Halloween voices back then. In fact, our church ... ready for this? ... had a haunted house in the basement one year! Complete with all the scary gags you can imagine (ghosts, vampires, walking dead, blood & guts). They even had us gather and wait upstairs in the sanctuary until, over the loud speaker, a spooky voice terrified us about what awaited us downstairs. Again, this was in church, I say!

I never liked Halloween. It was just something you did. Getting home late, I was only allowed to eat SOME of the candy. My dad would always pick over it -- for my safety of course -- assuring there was much less candy in the morning.

My mom has pictures of various outfits I wore through the years. I don't really have any trick-or-treat memories. Except there was one lady who gave dimes. Her house was a favorite stop. And to be honest, we all tried to go there more than once. (She would come out with a big bowl full of change and allow you to grab as many dimes as one hand could manage.)

By the time I was in college I was pretty much anti-Halloween. I don't know what spawned this stance, I just never felt right about the feast.

So why this year's confliction? I guess I now understand why God-fearing "normal" people allow their children to participate in such, forgive me, damned nonsense. It's cute. You look down at their cute -- they won't be young forever -- faces and think ... Ahh, they'd have so much fun. Yes, I have thought that, I confess.

The real kicker was when I was in seminary. Here we were reading the lives of the saints and struggling toward an understanding of the Resurrection when, BAM, Halloween hit. There was a staff secretary who entered the pagan feast with mad desire. Soon the trees around the campus were full of makeshift ghosts. Ghosts! I remember walking with one of my pals, also an anti-Samhein dude, and asking: "What are we teaching our kids about the Resurrection with all these ghosts hanging from the trees?" Neither of us had kids of our own back then. Several of us grew to really hate the end of October.

Years later, after I'd become pretty well "twisted" about the whole thing, I was working in a Goodwill store. (This was back when we were just starting an Orthodox Mission in the area.) The season came and we were asked to decorate the store for Halloween. I begged off, giving religious reasons to my supervisor. Fine, I didn't have to help. The store was gussied up, nonetheless. One of my coworkers came and asked me what I had against Halloween. I asked, "Why do we celebrate Christmas?" "Because of the birth of Christ," she said. "How 'bout Easter?" "Because of the Resurrection," she replied. I went on to ask about the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving. But when I asked, "Why do we celebrate Halloween?" -- she had no answer. It was obvious she'd never even considered the question. She ended up by saying, "Because it's fun."

Because it's fun.

That's the reason most seemingly God-fearing folks go in for such a Godless festival. If you think about it, that's the scariest part of all.

For what it's worth, you'll find below a letter to school administrators for parents who wish their children to abstain from pagan festivities & a history of the feast we now call Halloween.

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HALLOWEEN: Letter for School Children

Dear School Official:

The Orthodox Christian Church firmly holds that Halloween is a pagan, indeed a Satanic, festival which in essence glorifies evil and for this reason strongly discourages its members from participating in any and all of its manifestations.

We take great pains to protect our children and ourselves from disease and harm. We teach them good nutrition, hygiene and personal safety. We discourage them from engaging in fornication, substance abuse and other immoral and dangerous acts. Why do we allow them to dabble in darkness? Even if Halloween was good, clean, innocent fun, to what benefit -- spiritual, intellectual or otherwise -- is this for a Christian? Let’s teach our children to surround themselves with what is good and to “walk as children of light” (Eph. 5:8).

I respectfully ask that you excuse the bearer of this letter from school activities pertaining to Halloween on [Date(s)].

Sincerely,


N.

Parish Rector

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HALLOWEEN: Some History

It’s that time of year when secular society is preparing for the festival of Halloween. It’s no surprise, in our age of apostasy and relativism, that the true meaning of Halloween has been lost in mirthful superficiality and childish pranks. Halloween is regarded as one more occasion for a party without the most elementary curiosity about historical background, without any regard for religious and mystical consequences. It is hardly a surprise when we consider that the greatest feasts of Christianity such as Pascha and the Nativity of Christ, for which our ancestors prepared with fasting, prayers and tears, are now to so many, simply dates for eating, drinking and the exchanging of gifts. In the same spirit, the modern American public classifies Halloween with the debased and distorted celebrations of St Valentine and St Patrick. The former has been metamorphosed into a type of mid-winter Eros or Cupid, while the latter is generally taken to be a kind of Celtic Santa Claus.

Known also as All Hallows Eve, Allhallowe'n and Hallowmas, the feast of Halloween began in pre-Christian times. It was originally a Celtic festival celebrated widely among the peoples of the British Isles and northern France. These pagan peoples believed that life was born from death. Therefore they celebrated the beginning of the “new year” in the fall when, as they believed, the season of cold, darkness, decay and death began. On that night a certain deity whom they called Samhain, their Lord of Death, was honored at their New Year's festival. On that night Samhain was believed to lead hosts of evil spirits into the world. Samhain is also identified as Samana, the dark Aryan god also known as the Grim Reaper.

On the eve of the festival, the Druids, who were the priests of the Celtic nature cult, instructed their people to extinguish all hearth fires and lights. A huge bonfire built from oak branches, which they believed to be sacred, was ignited in a high place. Upon this fire sacrifices of crops, animals and even human beings were burned as an offering in order to appease and cajole Samhain. It was also believed that Samhain, being pleased by their faithful offerings, allowed the souls of the dead to return to their homes for a festal visit on this day. Cold, dark creatures filled the night: evil witches, hobgoblins and evil pookas that appeared in the form of hideous black horses. Demons, fairies and ghouls roamed about as the doors of the burial mounds opened wide, allowing them free access to the world of living men. It is from this belief that the practice of wandering about in the dark dressed up in costumes imitating ghosts, hobgoblins, fairies, sprites, leprechauns, elves, brownies, smurfs, and other assorted demons, grew up. The living entered into fellowship and communion with the “dead” by what was, and still is, a ritual act of imitation; through costume and the activity of wandering about even as the souls of the dead were believed to wander.

The dialog of trick and treat is also an integral part of this system of beliefs and practices. It was believed that the souls of the dead who had entered into the world of darkness, decay and death, and therefore into total communion with and submission to Samhain, bore the affliction of great hunger on their festal visit. Out of this grew the practice of begging, which was a further ritual enactment and imitation of what the Celts believed to be the activities of the souls on their visit. Associated with this is the still further implication that if the souls of the dead were not appeased with “treats” (offerings) then the wrath and anger of Samhain, whose angels and servants the souls and imitators had become, would be unleased through a system of “tricks” (curses). By their vengeance crops were destroyed, cattle killed, milk soured and life in general was made miserable. As time went by, certain villagers were chosen to mystically take on the attributes and powers of the ghouls. These “mummers” as they were called, cavorted from house to house collecting the equivalent of protection money.

Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland and other Celtic lands, stood in firm opposition to the Druid priests. After the call to extinguish all fires, St Patrick went to a hill and ignited a large signal fire which could be clearly seen by the chief priests. On orders, soldiers were sent to kill him, but through the power of God, he became invisible to them.

There are other practices associated with Halloween from which we should abstain. As was mentioned above, the faithful were to extinguish their fires and lights and gather around the fire of sacrifice. Because this was a sacred fire, it was from this that the fire of the new year was to be taken for the purpose of rekindling the hearth and lights at home. Vegetables (turnips) were hollowed out and carved in imitation of the dead and used to convey the new light and fire to the home where the lantern was left burning throughout the night. The use of a pumpkin Jack-O'Lantern involves celebration of and participation in the pagan festival of death.

Divination was also associated with this festival. The Druids would carefully watch the writhing of the sacrificial victims in the fire and from their death agonies would foretell the future of the village. After the fire had died out, the Druids examined the remains of the sacrifices in order to foretell, as they believed possible, the events of the coming year. Today all sorts of sorcery, fortune telling, divination, Ouija, games of chance -- and more unfortunately -- Satan worship and witchcraft are practiced.

In the days of the early Celtic Church, which was strictly Orthodox, the Holy Fathers attempted to counteract this pagan New Year festival by establishing the Feast of All Saints on the same day. (In the East the Feast of All Saints is celebrated on the Sunday following Pentecost). As is the custom of the Church, the faithful Christians attended a Vigil Service in the evening and in the morning a celebration of the Holy Eucharist. It is from this that the term Halloween developed. The word has its roots in the Old English of All Hallow E'en, i.e. the Eve commemorating all those who were hallowed (sanctified). However, the Church’s attempt to supplant this pagan festival [obviously] failed. The cultural (i.e., religious) aspects of Halloween have not been Christianized as have other symbols like Christmas trees, therefore the associations are not Christian at all, but remain pagan.

From an Orthodox Christian viewpoint, participation in Halloween practices at any level is idolatrous, a genuine betrayal of our God and our Holy Faith. To do so by dressing up and going out would be to willfully seek fellowship with the “dead” whose Lord is also known as Satan, the Evil One, who stands against God. Or, to participate by submission to the dialogue of “trick or treat” is to make offering, not to innocent little children, but to the Lord of Death, whom they unknowingly serve as proxy for the “dead” to whom none would likely pay respect.

According to the warnings of the Apostles and Holy Fathers, it is always wrong to approach and adopt anything in our secular American ethos thoughtlessly, naively and “like everybody else.” Halloween is not what it appears to be. Its seemingly innocent manifestations represent a memory of an ancient celebration deeply rooted in paganism and demonology and continues to be a form of idolatry in which Satan, the angel of death is worshipped.

-- Edited from posts on the Orthodox List

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Saturday, October 16, 2004

 

Embryonic Stem Cell Research KILLS

A must read by Fr Mark Hodges.

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Where is the Orthodox Voice in America?

Published by Orthodox Christian Laity, October 8, 2004
Are we still a lonely voice crying out in the wilderness or a disciple-maker of all nations?
By Paul Fuller

The holy prophet Isaiah spoke saying, "The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'Prepare the way of the Lord; make His paths straight (Matthew 3:3).'" Our Lord, God, and Savior Jesus Christ gave us this command saying, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19)." Is the Orthodox Church still a lonely voice crying out in the wilderness or are we a disciple-maker of all nations? The Holy Orthodox Faith was established by God as Christ during His death and resurrection. In 33 A.D. the disciples of Jesus gathered at Pentecost and they all received the promise from Jesus of the descent of the Holy Spirit upon them. On that day, 3,000 converts were baptized into the Holy Church.

The disciples of Christ didn't stop there; they pushed further and farther enduring much pain and suffering, yet much beauty as witnessing the conversions of many into the Holy Church. Christ's disciples baptized the people in the name of the Trinitarian God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The early leaders of the Church were visionaries, realizing their important task on this earth. They were instructed by Jesus Christ to go and preach the Word of God, not just by word of mouth, but also most importantly by example. For by living the Orthodox Faith, you make believers out of many.

The world is full of people of all kinds of cultures, languages, governments, and even religions. However, Christ tells us: "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:13-16)."

America is a unique environment for Orthodox Christianity. The light of Orthodoxy reached this land, first through Orthodox missionaries in Alaska, then later through the travel of Orthodox immigrants from all parts of the world. Many Orthodox Christians came to America in the hope of a "better life." These people gathered together in ethnic communities, thus preserving strongly their unique cultures and languages. The strong ethnic ties were imperative for their survival in this new land, for times weren't as easy as these immigrants had hoped. These Orthodox Christians struggled vigorously to produce a comfortable way of living for their families. Orthodox Christianity arrived on this continent in 1794, and has remained and prospered to this very day.

Unlike other Christian religions, who have divided and broken up numerous times throughout history, Orthodox Christianity has remained true to the Apostolic and Catholic Faith. The same Apostolic and Catholic Faith founded by Christ and organized by the early disciples of Christ. Orthodox Christianity is called "best kept secret." Yet this was not Christ's intention for His Church. Many people around the world have a terrible misconception about Orthodox Christianity, but their ignorance is our fault, all Orthodox Christians. Why are Orthodox Christians still only known for their ethnic cultures, which one sees in front of that church's name? Why do people believe that Greek, Russian, Antiochian, Romanian, Bulgarian, etc. Orthodox Churches are different in theology and practice?

Orthodox Christians living in America are faced with a great challenge in this day and age. We have an opportunity, living in the most powerful, influential, and world-leading country this earth has even known, to allow this "best kept secret" become the "light of the world." American policy weighs heavily in the minds, hearts, and souls of all who exist in this world. Issues, such as, sexual abuse, child abuse, abortion, the death penalty, euthanasia, homosexuality, and injustices of all kinds, are important topics in today's American society. Yet, when faced with these issues, the Orthodox jurisdictions in America individually express their concerns. Do our concerns on such topics differ? I pray that our reply is a strong and vibrant: NO! All Orthodox Christians have the same teachings of Christ, writings of the Church Fathers, and canons of the Orthodox Faith. But where is the Orthodox Voice in America? The Orthodox Voice in America is divided up into numerous jurisdictions in this land, which is against the canons of the Church. Orthodox Christian hierarchs due to the delicate situations faced by the Orthodox Christian immigrants into this land has overlooked this canon-breaking set-up. No longer are we immigrants, foreigners, and strangers in America! The Orthodox jurisdictions in this land are no longer guests, but hosts in America. Orthodox Christians are Americans and Americans are Orthodox Christians!

Currently, the only somewhat unified Orthodox Voice in America is SCOBA (Standing Conference of the Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas), established in 1960, which brings together the canonical hierarchs of the Orthodox jurisdictions in America. SCOBA is made up of nine member Churches. The purpose of the Conference is to make the ties of unity among the canonical Orthodox Churches and their administrations stronger and more visible. The hierarchs meet twice annually for discussions and decisions on matters of common concern. Various commissions and committees have been established to implement the decisions of SCOBA.

SCOBA, however, is simply a small step to what is needed for the Orthodox Christians in America. What is not needed for Orthodox Christians in America is Patriarchal leadership thousands of miles away. The physical distance is not what hinders the Orthodox Christians in America; the hindrances are the non-Orthodox influences upon these Patriarchal leaders. Prime examples include the lack of recognition of the Patriarch of Jerusalem by the Israeli government and the Turkish stronghold over the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople. Orthodox Christians living in America need Orthodox Christian leadership in and from America. Few Orthodox jurisdictions are taking the necessary steps for accomplishing the goal of a united and unified American Orthodox Church, but most continue to back-step this process. What are the reasons for not following in the footsteps of our early Church leaders? We must be visionaries, much like the apostolic fathers of the early Church. They realized the needs of the Orthodox communities abroad and allowed zealous and pious inhabitants to become Church leaders.

Christ commanded His disciples to go and make disciples of all nations! When saying His disciples, it is not meant only the people who knew Him. Are we not Christ's disciples also, much like them more than 2000 years ago? This command, then, isn't just for them, but for all of us, Orthodox Christians, especially in America for we are faced with the same important task. Christ is alive in us, for we are still walking with Christ this very day. His command is clear, it is not subject for interpretation: "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, 'All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you, and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:18-20).'" Then where is the Orthodox Voice in America: are we still just a voice crying out in the wilderness or a disciple-maker of all nations?

Paul Fuller is the President of the Orthodox Christian Fellowship (OCF) at the University of Kentucky and also serves as a National OCF Student Advisor Board member. (Again, thanks to Fr Victor Potapov for FWD.)

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Friday, October 15, 2004

 

Jews Spitting on Christians

Haaretz Daily Newspaper, Tel Aviv, Israel
Christians in Jerusalem want Jews to stop spitting on them
By Amiram Barkat

A few weeks ago, a senior Greek Orthodox clergyman in Israel attended a meeting at a government office in Jerusalem's Givat Shaul quarter. When he returned to his car, an elderly man wearing a skullcap came and knocked on the window. When the clergyman let the window down, the passerby spat in his face.

The clergyman prefered not to lodge a complaint with the police and told an acquaintance that he was used to being spat at by Jews. Many Jerusalem clergy have been subjected to abuse of this kind. For the most part, they ignore it but sometimes they cannot.

On Sunday, a fracas developed when a yeshiva student spat at the cross being carried by the Armenian Archbishop during a procession near the Holy Sepulchre in the Old City. The archbishop's 17th-century cross was broken during the brawl and he slapped the yeshiva student.

Both were questioned by police and the yeshiva student will be brought to trial. The Jerusalem District Court has meanwhile banned the student from approaching the Old City for 75 days.

But the Armenians are far from satisfied by the police action and say this sort of thing has been going on for years. Archbishop Nourhan Manougian says he expects the education minister to say something.

"When there is an attack against Jews anywhere in the world, the Israeli government is incensed, so why when our religion and pride are hurt, don't they take harsher measures?" he asks.

According to Daniel Rossing, former adviser to the Religious Affairs Ministry on Christian affairs and director of a Jerusalem center for Christian-Jewish dialogue, there has been an increase in the number of such incidents recently, "as part of a general atmosphere of lack of tolerance in the country."

Rossing says there are certain common characeristics from the point of view of time and location to the incidents. He points to the fact that there are more incidents in areas where Jews and Christians mingle, such as the Jewish and Armenian quarters of the Old City and the Jaffa Gate.

There are an increased number at certain times of year, such as during the Purim holiday."I know Christians who lock themselves indoors during the entire Purim holiday," he says.

Former adviser to the mayor on Christian affairs, Shmuel Evyatar, describes the situation as "a huge disgrace." He says most of the instigators are yeshiva students studying in the Old City who view the Christian religion with disdain.

"I'm sure the phenomenon would end as soon as rabbis and well-known educators denounce it. In practice, rabbis of yeshivas ignore or even encourage it," he says.

Evyatar says he himself was spat at while walking with a Serbian bishop in the Jewish quarter, near his home. "A group of yeshiva students spat at us and their teacher just stood by and watched."

Jerusalem municipal officials said they are aware of the problem but it has to be dealt with by the police. Shmuel Ben-Ruby, the police spokesman, said they had only two complaints from Christians in the past two years. He said that, in both cases, the culprits were caught and punished.

He said the police deploy an inordinately high number of patrols and special technology in the Old City and its surroundings in an attempt to keep order.

Thanks to FWD from Fr Victor Potapov.


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Here & There ...

The Islamic Sates of America? Patrick, at the Orthodox Christian Information Center (OCIC), points to a chilling read.

As any father of daughters knows, "Sometimes a girl's just gotta cry." Well ... Dawn just needed to rant.

Can you really get KICKED OUT of the Anglican Communion?

Bill Cosby for President! You heard it here first!

A Matushka does the Hopko dance.

Thanks to James at Paradosis, here's a Map that shows where American Orthodox live.

You can also flag where the Heterodox reside.

Finally, for levity's sake, please visit Slobbovia (Caveat Lector & B.Y.O.F.)

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Thursday, October 14, 2004

 

Ecumenism: Rejected.

Inter-Orthodox Conference: “Ecumenism: Origins, Expectations, Disenchantment” ... Press Release

"In love, we reject Ecumenism, because we desire to offer to the heterodox precisely that which the Lord richly bestowed upon all of us within His Holy Orthodox Church: the opportunity to become members of His Body."

This, among other things, was stressed at the Inter-Orthodox Conference: "Ecumenism: Origins, Expectations, Disenchantment", which was successfully co-sponsored by the Department of Pastoral Theology of the Theological School of Aristotle University of Thessaloniki and the "Society of Orthodox Studies" in the midst of large crowds who filled Ceremony Hall at the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki.

The conference took place from September 20-24, 2004. His All-holiness Metropolitan Anthimos of Thessaloniki declared the commencement of the conference. Other Metropolitans and Bishops, the mayor of Thessaloniki, Mr. Panagiotis Psomiadis, Parliament representatives, and university professors were all on hand to offer greetings to the conference and its attendees. Before a packed audience composed of the Abbots of holy monasteries, clergy, monks, and laity, among which were many theologians and students of the Theological School, over a five day period roughly sixty speakers, including Hierarchs, from nearly all of the Local Orthodox Churches, analyzed thoroughly the phenomenon of Ecumenism.

At the conference it was noted that the roughly one hundred year old movement of Ecumenism -- the organized efforts to unite divided Christians -- even if it was, in the beginning of its development, animated by good intentions, has today reached a total dead end -- a truth which is confessed by even the most fervent supporters of inter-Christian dialogue. This is due to the way in which these dialogues were established and directed, and are conducted even today.

Inter-Christian dialogues, with their unacceptable joint prayers and their syncretism, quickly led to inter-religious syncretism, the underpinning of which is the new age theory which proclaims that all of the religions are paths which lead to the same God.

Ecumenism, with these dialogues, gatherings and joint prayers, is placed among the so-called New Age, the New Order, and Globalization and serves political and geo-strategic aims, which are especially visible, even to the most uninformed observer, after the eleventh of September, 2001.

The ultimate conclusion of the conference is that the conditions have matured and been met and now render imperative the re-examination of the Orthodox Church’s participation in the “World Council of Churches”, and the so-called Ecumenical Movement more generally, as well as inter-religious gatherings.

Joint prayer must be flatly condemned and the Local Orthodox Churches must undertake their heroic exodus from these assemblies. For this aim to be attained a pan-Orthodox decision is not required, given that the Local Orthodox Churches were incorporated into the W.C.C. and ecumenical movement separately.

(For this news item and the one below -- thanks to FWD from Fr Josiah Trenham.)

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Preach Against Sodomy ... Go to Jail

A Matter of Faith, By Dale Hurd, CBN News Sr. Reporter, October 12, 2004

CBN.com – BORGHOLM, SWEDEN - Inside a small Pentecostal church in southern Sweden, worshippers pray for their pastor, that somehow he won't have to go to prison for the crime of preaching against homosexuality.

Sweden was at the forefront of the sexual revolution, and today is at the forefront of the gay agenda. As in many European nations, homosexuality has been embraced by society as a human right, and glorified in the media. One pastor decided to stand up to what he saw as the growing acceptance of homosexuality here. But because of the way he said it, he has been sentenced to jail.

Green said, "I was watching television, reading the newspaper, listening to high-profile people, actors, singers, glorifying the homosexual lifestyle. And I was worried, and I was concerned, and I felt a deep burden in my heart to speak on that particular topic."

Green prepared the sermon last year, on what the Bible says about homosexuality, with the intention that the townspeople of Borgholm come to hear him. But attendance was disappointing. So Åke Green had his sermon published in the local newspaper. In it, he compared the sin of Sweden to the sin of Sodom. And he warned, "…our country is facing a disaster of great proportions! Of that we can be sure. God said the land would vomit out its inhabitants…Our country is facing a disaster."

But it was how he described sexual practices like homosexuality that brought the charge against him: Green said, "What I said was that sexual abnormality was like a cancer of the society."

Or more precisely in English, a "cancerous tumor." He ended his sermon with grace, and with respect for those living in sexual sin, saying, "What these people need, who live under the slavery of sexual immorality, is an abundant grace. It exists. Therefore we will encourage those who live in this manner to look at the grace of Jesus Christ. We cannot condemn these people. Jesus never belittled anyone. He offered them grace."

But his ending did not matter. The sermon was seen by local gays and the district prosecutor, and Green was convicted in a district court and given a month in jail, a sentence not yet served because he is appealing the conviction. Green's defense attorney is also the chairman of the Swedish Helsinki Committee for Human Rights, Percy Bratt. He said, "The very basic question that is raised in this matter is to what extent it is criminal to teach from the words in the Bible, so to say?" The hate speech law used to convict Green was first intended to protect Jews and other ethnic minorities from Nazi sympathizers. But in more recent times, the law was amended to also protect sexual orientation.

Bratt remarked that "The wording of this provision is (SIC) very general, so the area that shall be criminalized is up to the court."

The district prosecutor in the case refused to speak with CBN News, but we were able to speak with Sweden's national gay and lesbian organization in Stockholm, the RFSL, which supports Green's conviction.

A spokesman for the group, Robert Karlsson Svärd, said, "Hatred and defamation is not to be accepted, just because it's based on religious beliefs or religious scriptures. It's - you have some limits when it comes to freedom of speech."

But the Åke Green case is becoming an embarrassment for a nation that prides itself on its tolerance. It may also be a catalyst. Prominent Swedish pastor Ulf Ekman was almost charged with the same offense, but the prosecutor dropped the case. Ekman says most pastors ignored his call for a nationwide campaign to challenge the law, by preaching against homosexuality: “As far as I know,” said Ekman, “he and I are the only ones who have said anything about this… I think that in this case, Pastor Green is very isolated. Many, many pastors have backed off, and even those that agree with him are very silent.”

Josef Östby, a noted missionary and pastor in Sweden's Pentecostal movement, hopes God is using an unknown preacher from a small town to awaken a nation. Östby said, "I felt it like a prophetic message for our time in Sweden."

Östby added, "A kind person like Green, silent, is working in a small church and today, the whole country are talking about it, and countries are touched by his simple message."

But support for Green among some Swedish evangelical leaders has been surprisingly lukewarm. Green blames them for acquiescing to the homosexual agenda. He said he draws his inspiration from the Old Testament prophets: "We have read about Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, and Amos. They were living in times of spiritual decline. I believe we are dealing with a spiritual dimension here. The evangelical churches don't want a confrontation with what's going on in the Swedish society, and that makes them silent."

Green's attorney says the case will now go to an appeals court, and if needed, to Sweden's Supreme Court, and even to the European Court, if necessary. He says the district judge misapplied the law.

Bratt said, "The court must, when applying this provision, make a balancing act between the right of homosexuals and the right of the freedom of religion and the right of the freedom of expression, and we say that the court has not made proper such balancing."

But other nations are moving in the same direction, or already have similar laws, including Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom. Östby calls Green's conviction a tragedy for democracy in Sweden: "We cannot in Sweden be known for things like putting a pastor in jail for a sermon. This is impossible."

But RFSL spokesman Svärd said that one month in jail is not long enough for Green. He hopes that a higher court will impose a longer sentence.

The district attorney has said that six to eight months would be more appropriate when it comes to this crime, and we cannot do anything else but to agree with that.

Pastor Green said he was not afraid to go to prison for this. Green said, “I am not a criminal, I don't feel like a criminal, but this new law makes us preachers as criminals if we speak up."

Some say Pastor Green has awakened Swedish evangelicals on the issue of homosexuality. He has certainly created an uncomfortable dividing line for church leaders, whether to speak boldly about what the Bible says about homosexuality,
or not.

An otherwise overlooked pastor has done something to grab the attention of a nation. Åke Green says he was just obeying God.

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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

 

Understanding a Kerry Vote

For the record: I'm voting for Bush and have never in my adult life been labeled a liberal by anyone worthy of trust. I'm anti & pro all the right causes, at least in the social and cultural spheres. Personally, voting for John Kerry has not once crossed my mind. There's much about the whole business that I find repulsive and I look forward to the day when saying, "Oh, that's just politics," will hold no water among a discerning populace. So, if your main objective, judgments about me, and blood pressure rate find satisfaction in knowing that I am not voting for Kerry -- never considered it -- and am voting for George Bush, you may wish to read no further. Depart in peace.


That being said, I can understand a Kerry vote.

Born in 1961, I grew up in a turbulent time. A couple years after I was born, the President was assassinated; his brother soon to follow. One summer my TV viewing consisted of pretty much nothing but Watergate hearings. Daily, around dinner time, Vietnam -- body bags, soldiers running under enemy fire, agony -- was broadcast on all three channels into my home. There were hippies on TV singing about peace and protesting the draft. Laugh-In was a relief and temptation. And ...

Well, I guess what I'm saying is: Mine is the first TV generation. From day one, we had a constant cultural companion. And it just so happened that -- other than Lunar Landings, the Space Race, Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll -- most of the news involved War: hot and Cold.

I was with the Boy Scouts in Canada when TVs carried an unshakeable image. We were playing volleyball in the gym when one of the Canadian boys came running in saying: "Hey! Your President is resigning!" We all rushed to a TV and watched. We were with boys from other countries, we were only 13 years old, we didn't know how to act, what to say ... But for us Americans the feeling wasn't good. We didn't understand it, but our heads hung low.

Gerald Ford. Need I say more?

Okay for those of you answering that rhetorical question in the affirmative, let me just say: Saturday Night Live. In our teens -- forgive me, it was a different era -- we watched a new show on Saturday nights. Chevy Chase was Gerald Ford ... always falling down.

I remember walking in a Charlotte mall (also a new thing) and seeing posters of Jimmy Carter with a halo. People, at least the ones hanging with my folks, were happy and optimistic. Carter was coming on strong, he was a Southerner, a Baptist, and, if you followed the poster's logic, a form of Saviour. (Face it, there ain't no Baptist Saints.)

Jimmy Carter. Need I say more?

If you insist ... Sigh. As a kid in highschool I remember the anxiety and uneasiness of the Carter years. We seemed weak as a nation. The Soviet Union seemed strong and unbeatable. Our President got on TV and talked of, and I paraphrase, our "national funk". But, hey, it was fun. We had disco. Freedom, good & bad, abounded. (We were doomed.)

Backing up a bit, I remember when the lights were on on all the porches and the car horns were blowing and people were partying ... Our boys were coming home. I remember when they ended the Draft. And I remember the college years of the Cold War ...

Reagan. Need I say more?

I won't comment on George "Senior" or Bill Clinton. Enough has been said about the latter; I've no strong opinions about the weak leadership of the former save to say: He won't no Reagan; missed opportunities with the fall of the Wall ... etc.

Now we come to the Dubbya Era. Confusion on Election night, months of spin. Then, the Towers came down, the nation was united, we put on a brave face and entered into battle. Nightly the TV broadcasted War from a far. Unlike the Vietnam "Conflict" we were not subjected to men running through the jungle with stretchers and body bags. Rather, we had "Shock and Awe" -- a fireworks display which painted not a portrait of carnage but of light. We only heard reports, eventually, of US casualties. The newspapers were not continually full of the names of war dead. The memories of the Towers began to fade -- seems like a life-time ago -- but now the continual reports of the casualties mount.

Some people, particularly those in their mid-40's, are now going through a flash back -- some reminiscence which, they believe, mirrors reality. This looks like a familiar monster. Times are similar. The TV still flickers ...

As I was flipping through the dial in the kitchen a few months ago my son, Basil, asked to linger on the History Channel. They were showing war footage. He's very much into that at the moment.

After about 30 minutes of this, his dinner now finished, I said: "Come here, boy."

I picked him up. Held him. Looked at him (like fathers do).

His six year old face was still glued to the war footage. I said, "I love you. I hope you never have to go to war."

Without looking at me, he said, "Cause I might get killed, right Daddy?"

"Well, you might get killed or injured ... I just hope you don't have to go to war, son."

He slowly turned toward me and looking at me with all sincerity said, "But Dad, if the man says 'Basil Huneycutt,' ... I have to go ... right?"

"That's right, son. You have to go."


He was three when the Towers came down. He still talks about those images, is drawn to those images ... draws those images. He understands nothing at the moment but a Bush vote. But believe me, as I held him that night, my only son, I began to understand a Kerry vote.

This hasn't as much to do with issues -- does it ever? -- as it does images. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that many folks younger than me and older than me can only see ... a vote for Bush. Those of my generation, in their mid-40s, seem more likely to sport the opposing bumper sticker on their SUV. After all we've been through "together", I understand. I can understand it ... all the while believing Kerry's halo is as phony as Carter's.

I did not title this posting "Understanding A Vote for Kerry" because I believe many of those votes -- particularly those cast by the mid-40 crowd -- are likely anti-Bush votes; thus, a "Kerry Vote".

Someone asks, "Could you understand an Orthodox Christian voting for Kerry?" Fair enough. I'll say this, a while back I attended a church gathering where there were lots of Arab Christians. When an image of George W Bush was flashed during a slide presentation, there were boos from a large minority. Boos! How could this be? Aren't they Orthodox? Pro-Life? Etc? Yes, but here again, I could understand. Thanks to the images on the TV, Arabs are bad; bombing them is good. Profiling is bad (officially); judging someone by their ethnic group is ... well, unavoidable thanks to the images. (Not to mention our tax dollars paying to bomb their foreign kin.) I imagine the Serbs felt the same way about Clinton. Spoiled white boys in America probably wouldn't understand.

In Conclusion: I realize that the above article's reasoning is circular and subjective. It doesn't include the most recent Superman-stem-cell stuff. It's probably not well thought out and is certainly not exhaustive. It's one portion of a sinner's opinion. In some ways I admire those men who are solid in their support and belief. Perhaps it's my nature, my age-group, my upbringing -- just ME -- but I'm not one of them. If you've connected all the dots and are wondering about the hues: color my vote for Bush reluctant, hesitant, reserved. Fr John McCuen does a good job of defining his own struggles here ... and here ... and here. Many of his concerns mirror mine. Don't get me wrong, as stated at the outset, I'm voting for Bush. My reservations are not due to his character or leadership qualities. I just fear we're not seeing the whole picture when it comes to Islam, the war, the environment, health care, etc. I ain't voting "Yes" to the whole kit-and-kabootle. Of necessity, I'm just choosing W over him.

And if you've read this far and are wondering why I haven't mentioned abortion, all I can suggest is: Vote Pro-Life.

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Saturday, October 09, 2004

 

Ouch!

When Christ asks if we loved our neighbors, how many of us modern choosers will be hoping he means those far away, people whom we chose to help, rather than those strange and terrible beings who just happened to live on our block?
-- Anthony Esolen in Touchstone


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Here & There ...


The Ecumenical Patriarchate was bombed on Thursday ...

The Antiochian Archdiocese's Website has ideas for Church School ...

Sigh. Episcopalians.

Secession. Really. (The Grey Book)

Can you hear me?
Wait.
Can you hear me now?

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The Empire of Motherhood

The destiny of America lies around the hearthstone ... If thrift and industry are taught there... if the example of self sacrifice oft appears; if honor abide there, and high ideals; if there the building of fortune be subordinate to the building of character—America will live in security, rejoicing in an abundant prosperity and good government at home, and peace, respect and confidence abroad…Look well, then, to the hearthstone; herein all hope for America lies.

But the hearthstone is an emblem. Beside it is enthroned the mother. It is a symbol of the Empire of Motherhood. The Creator lays the next generation in the lap of the mother; and we have high warrant for the belief that “ the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

When God wants important thing done in this world, or a wrong righted, He goes about it in a very singular way. He doesn’t release His thunderbolts nor stir up His earthquakes. He simply has a tiny, helpless baby born, perhaps in a very obscure home, perhaps of a very humble mother. And He puts the idea or purpose in a mother’s heart. And she puts it in the baby’s mind, and then—God waits!

"The great events of this world," says someone, "are not battles and earthquakes and hurricanes. The great events of this world are babies. They are the earthquakes and the hurricanes.” Oh the secrets that lie all about us hidden from our eyes! We glance at a tiny child, and we do not see, we do not know, what a thunderbolt of the Almighty is wrapped up in that little child.

"I walked down the furrow in the field,” said a humble mother who lived on a New Hampshire farm; “I walked down the furrow with the governor of New Hampshire in my arms, and the governor of Massachusetts clinging to my skirts.” She said that afterwards, long afterwards, in her old age. For she new not then, and no one knew, that her two baby boys would be the governors of two New England states.”

Quote attributed to President Coolidge from The Power of Motherhood by Nancy Campbell. Thanks to Fr Josiah Trenham & Fr Demetri Carellas for forwarding this post.

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Friday, October 08, 2004

 

Letter From a Convert

Dear Father Huneycutt,
I have read many of your articles on the Antiochian Archdiocese's website, and I was particularly moved by your essay about Orthodoxy in the South. I was raised in New Mexico, and I'm currently a freshman at Fordham University in New York City. I was raised a Methodist; I began questioning my Methodist beliefs early into high school, and I started studying the Church Fathers and Church History. Originally, I settled on the Catholic church, in part because no one knew anything about the Orthodox Church---there were almost no resources on it in a town of 30,000 in Eastern New Mexico. But I soon became disillusioned with particular Catholic doctrines and practices---I never converted, but I entered a crisis of faith---questioned my Christian beliefs entirely. But, thanks to the grace of God, I rediscovered Orthodoxy, and I discovered an Orthodox Church two hours from my home. I found my home, but as you can imagine, two hours is quite a journey. I went as often as I could, and now that I'm in New York, I'm preparing for Chrismation, a blessed event that will occur in a matter of days... I was able to relate to a particularly Southern (or in my experience, Southwestern) Christian experience. Most people back home, learning that I'm soon to be an Orthodox Christian, think I'm converting to Judaism. While it's certainly funny, it also is quite disheartening that so many people back in New Mexico know nothing about the Ancient Church. Perhaps, being inflamed with the convert's passion, I have a great desire to bring Orthodoxy to my small community, and I know that many people have asked and are asking many of the questions that I asked, but unlike me, they haven't found the answers yet---it was an act of God that I DID! I thank God for your efforts to bring Orthodox Christianity to the South, and you will remain in my prayers...I wanted to share my story with you, because your desire to share Orthodox Christianity with the South has had an impressive influence on me!

Used by permission. The author shall, God allowing, be Chrismated on October 31st. May God grant him many years!

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

 

TRADITION: The Truth of our Faith

Erica, of a Catechumen's Walk, had asked: "Why do we hold this particular set of beliefs, and not that one?" This is an excellent question which deserves an answer. In partial fulfillment, here is Elder Cleopa of Romania:
The Church of Christ determined the truths of the faith, according to the long course of Tradition, through the teachings and canons of the holy Oecumenical Councils, decrees and the Symbol of Faith [The Creed], and with confessions [of Faith] by holy and wonderworking hierarchs such as were made at the many local synods which have been held continuously since the days of old. At these synods the authenticity and genuineness of the holy Orthodox Faith was firmly established, primarily therein where it was attacked by the existing heresies of the time. From the totality of such synods appears the irrevocable and inalterable content of Holy Tradition. This is understood when you examine closely the essence of the following conditions:
* Does no sanction conceptions that contain inconsistencies amongst themselves or contradictions with the apostolic Tradition and Holy Scripture. (A teaching is to be considered worthy of "Tradition" when it stems from the Saviour or the Holy Apostles and is directly under the influence of the Holy Spirit.)

* The Tradition is that which has been safeguarded from the Apostolic Church and has an uninterrupted continuity until today.

* The Tradition is that which is confessed and practiced by the entire universal Orthodox Church.

* The Tradition is that which is in harmony with the greatest portion of the fathers and ecclesiastical writers.
When a tradition does not fulfill these stipulations, it cannot be considered true and holy, and consequently cannot be considered admissible or fit to be observed.

Taken from The Truth of our Faith, pp.57-58.

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The Science of the Cure

As a follow-up to last week's posting on Orthodox Psychotherapy ...

Psychology is very definitely not a theology; it is a natural science that seeks to describe experienceable psychic phenomena ... But as empirical science it has neither the capacity nor the competence to decide the questions of truth and value, this being the perogative of theology.

Carl Jung in Mysterium Coniunctionis
[I]t is clear that Christianity is principally a science which cures, that is to say, a psycho-therapeutic method and treatment. The same should be said of theology. It is not a philosophy but mainly a therapeutic treatment. Orthodox theology shows clearly that on the one hand it is a fruit of therapy and on the other ahnd it points the way to therapy. In other words, only those who have been cured and have attained communion with God are theologians, and they alone can show Christians the true way to reach the "place" of cure. So theology is both a fruit and a method of cure.

Hierotheos Vlachos in Orthodox Psychotherapy - The Science of the Fathers

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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

 

On the Lighter Side ...

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less makes your life miserable - -

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental!?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further." I know that place. "Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a
$5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "That's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the crappy hairdo?"

(Thanks to a FWD from Fr David Smith.)


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