ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.

The Rev. Tracey Lind, dean of Trinity Cathedral in Cleveland, has accepted a nomination to become the next bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Chicago because she wants to follow God's call.

''I believe that accepting this nomination is what God is asking of me, and I, in turn, ask your prayers for me and for our church as I strive to respond faithfully and with grace,'' Lind wrote in a letter to the Trinity congregation.

Trinity is the cathedral of the Episcopal Diocese of Ohio, which consists of more than 24,000 Episcopalians in 103 parishes in northern Ohio.

Lind, a lesbian priest who lives in Cleveland Heights with her partner, Emily Ingalls ...

Admit it. You knew it was coming dit'n ya?

Here's the whole story.

The Rev. Lane Hensley, a priest in the Chicago Diocese and a member of the search committee, said ... ''We're simply looking for the best person who is most likely called by God to be our bishop. It's not about sexuality. It's about God's call.''


Meanwhile ...

Next month, Episcopal bishops will meet with Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams in New Orleans to discuss demands that they pledge to withhold consent for another openly gay bishop until the global communion reaches consensus on the issue. If the bishops don't comply by Sept. 30, then international leaders have predicted the relationship with the 77 million member church will remain "damaged at best."

Source
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And to think, the Beheading of St John the Baptist old style is September 11th ...

It was on this day in 2005 that Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast near New Orleans. Before it reached land, it was the strongest hurricane ever measured in the Gulf of Mexico, with winds of up to 175 miles per hour. But by the time it hit New Orleans on this day, it had lost some of its strength. The wind damage was much worse in parts of Mississippi. Early on, most people thought New Orleans had dodged the bullet.

But two reporters from the New Orleans Times-Picayune newspaper got a tip that there might be a leak in one of the levees, so they rode bikes out to the levee of the 17th Street canal. They never even made it to the levee. One of the main streets on their route was filled with rushing water, more than seven feet deep, and it was rolling south toward the rest of the city. More than 80 percent of the city was eventually flooded, about 140 square miles, which is seven times the size of Manhattan. The water rose higher than 14 feet in some places.

All communication in the city began to break down. The 911 operators had evacuated, and so people calling 911 just reached an answering machine. Eventually there was no power, no phone service, no cell phones. Many of the police officers in the city abandoned their posts and just tried to save themselves. The local prison was evacuated, and several prisoners escaped. National Guard troops didn't arrive until the fourth day of the disaster.

Many of the journalists at The Times-Picayune slept in their office building the first night after the hurricane, and they realized the following morning that they had to evacuate or they'd be stranded. A total of 240 employees and some family members piled into all the newspaper delivery trucks available, and they drove out of the city.

The staff of The Times-Picayune had to evacuate their building, but the editor Jim Amoss was determined to keep publishing the newspaper even if only on the Internet, so a small group of journalists stayed behind in the city to cover what was going on. By September 1, the newspaper had begun printing the paper again, and they delivered it free to shelters and hotels around the city. On Friday, September 2, reporters brought copies of the newspaper to the Convention Center, where many people had been living for days. Witnesses said that the people at the Convention Center wept at the sight of their hometown newspaper. Reporters then began distributing the paper to refugees and relief workers throughout the city, and residents of the city were overwhelmed by emotion when the newspaper arrived on their doorstep. The Times-Picayune eventually won two Pulitzer Prizes for its Hurricane Katrina coverage, including a gold medal for meritorious public service.

Stolen from The Writer's Almanac, August 29, 2007.

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In response to the fires raging in Greece, considered the worst the country has suffered in over 100 years, the U.S. based humanitarian aid organization International Orthodox Christian Charities (IOCC) has announced an immediate emergency response to provide relief supplies and technical assistance for the thousands of displaced villagers affected by this national tragedy ...

You can help IOCC.

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Question: Geronta, how can a husband become practiced in the virtues?

Answer: God will give him opportunities. Many men, however, after asking God to give them opportunities to practice the virtues, grumble when they are faced with a certain difficulty. For example, sometimes the Good God, in His boundless love, and in order to provide practice in humility and patience, will take away his Grace from the wife, and she will begin acting outlandishly and treating the husband inconsiderately. Then the husband should not complain, but rather rejoice and thank God for the opportunity to struggle which He has given him. Or, a mother asks God to grant her patience. Her little child then comes in, and as soon as she has the table set for dinner, he pulls on the table cloth and everything spills on the floor. At such times it's as if the child is saying to his mother: "Mama, be patient!"

-- Elder Paisios the Athonite

Thanks to FWD from Fr Josiah Trenham.

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MOSCOW - The remains of the last czar's hemophiliac son and heir to the Russian throne, missing since the royal family was gunned down nine decades ago by Bolsheviks in a basement room, may have been found, an archaeologist said Thursday.

Bones were found in a burned area in the ground near Yekaterinburg, the city where Czar Nicholas II and his wife and children were held prisoner and then shot in 1918.

A top local archaeologist said the bones belong to a boy and a young woman roughly the ages of the czar's son, Alexei, and a daughter whose remains have also never been found.

If confirmed, the finding would solve a persistent mystery about the doomed family, which fell victim to the violent revolution that ushered in more than 70 years of Communist rule.

The Story.

Thanks to FWD from Fr Mark Mancuso.
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Prayer is more essential to us, more an integral part of ourselves, than the rhythm of our breathing or the beating of our heart. Without prayer there is no life. Prayer is our nature. As humans we are created for prayer just as we are created to speak and to think. The human animal is best described, not as a logical or tool-making animal or an animal that laughs, but rather as an animal that prays, a eucharistic animal, capable of offering the world back to God in thanksgiving and intercession.

-- Bishop Kallistos Ware
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When I’m in my car, I usually listen to National Public Radio. That’s quite a transformation for a man who once saw KISS, Willie Nelson, and Prince all in the same year – BUT … and I paraphrase … “Those without sin cast the first 8-track.”

Honestly, over the years I’ve found that listening to Classical Music is the best way to not only control road rage -- but to actually enjoy driving. Therefore, I listen to NPR stations a lot. If you’re accustomed to the same, you know that sometimes you might tune in and they are playing the most fabulous hits of the Classical Music World – Like the greatest hits of Mozart, Bach, and, oh, Garrison Keillor. You know … for some reason, their programming just seems extra heavenly on that particular day! Then, if not before, you hear the voice that’s asking for money … donations ... That’s right, it’s that time of year again … Fund raising.

No, this Podcast is not about money, but it could be. In fact, money is a little less painful topic than the subject of this week’s subject on the Orthodixie Podcast.

Are you ready?

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

Also, come closer … I don’t want to upset anyone here … I’m also going to talk about a man who was part of a gang, a murderer … and he was …

BLACK!

And no, I don’t mean he was African-American … This was long before there was a country called America … and, essentially, I’m not really talking just about skin color here …

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

Image Source: The roof of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, where Ethiopians maintain the only presence by black people in Christianity’s holiest shrine.
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Lord, this warfare in the body is a heavy burden and to have fought until now is enough. But if it is Thine order that I toil on still, mounting guard over the camp of Thy people, I do not refuse, nor plead the feebleness of age. I will consecrate myself to the fulfillment of the duties Thou dost lay upon me; I will fight on under Thy banners, so long as it is Thy command. Sweet to an old man is release after labor, but the will can triumph over length of life and knows no yielding to old age.

-- St. Martin of Tours

Thanks to FWD from Fr Josiah Trenham.

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1) Icon of All Saints of Great Britain and Ireland

2) The earliest extant image of the Theotokos in the British Isles (from the wooden coffin of St Cuthbert, dated to A.D. 698)

The Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church instituted a holiday to honor Christians who lived on the islands of Great Britain and Ireland and were canonized before the 1054 schism that divided Christendom into the Western Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches.

The holiday will be an annual event observed on the third Sunday after Pentecost. The Synod, which met on Tuesday, also ordered that these saints' names be included in the Menology after their Christian exploits have been studied. The Synod's decision follows an appeal of March 3, 2007, in which the diocese of Sourozh, the Russian Orthodox diocese having the islands of Great Britain and Ireland for its territory, asked the head of the Russian Orthodox Church, Patriarch Alexy II, and its Holy Synod to institute a holiday for pre-1054 British and Irish saints.

The Story.

Images and text lifted from the Clergy Brotherhood Memo of the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America, August 22, 2007.
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The chapel is intended to be a part of the retreat’s rehabilitation program that already includes a hairdressing saloon [sic], a physiotherapist’s room, gymnastic trainers, a psychological relief room, and a gerontology department is to be started soon.

Religion is considered as a special rehabilitation method. A priest visits the retreat on major festivals to administer confessions and communion. The prayers are held in the lobby ...

You can read the news story (below) about this joint effort with Protestant volunteers.

Question: What's a psychological relief room?

The Story.

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Please forgive, especially you techies & geeks, this Podcast primer. However, as I often get questions or comments that indicate a tiny bit of frustration and a goodly dollop of ignorance in regard to "acquiring" internet recordings (broadcasts) known as "Podcasts" -- here's some helps:

You do not need to tune in at a particular time to listen to a Podcast.

You do not need to have -- or be able to operate -- an iPod.

You do need a computer (STOP!), high-speed internet a plus.

Here's what you do ...

Go to Ancient Faith Radio Dot Com

To listen to AFR's daily slate of programming, just click on the appropriate category under Tune in here (e.g., if you have high-speed internet, click Broadband 128k). This works great at the office! Then again, I work at a church. (But try it!)

FYI, here's the schedule for those on Central Time.

If you wish to listen to a particular Podcast, they are listed on the Left in the Side Margin (here's an overview).

Click the Podcast's title (e.g., Orthodixie), it'll load the specific page ... Click the "Play Button" on the desired title.

Play Button looks like this:





Enjoy!
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It's that time of year again ...


O God, our heavenly Father, Who lovest mankind, and art most merciful and compassionate, have mercy upon these your children, Thy servants, for whom we humbly pray Thee, and commend them to Thy gracious protection. Be Thou, O God, their guide and guardian in all their endeavors; lead them in the path of Thy truth, and draw them near to Thee, that they may lead a godly and righteous life in Thy love and fear; doing Thy will in all matters. Bless and strengthen their teachers. And, give them grace that they may be temperate, industrious, diligent, devout and charitable. Defend them against the assaults of the enemy, and grant them wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life; and direct them in the way of salvation, for the merits of Thy Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, and the intercessions of His Holy Mother, and Thy blessed saints --
and their Guardian Angels!

Amen.
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The following is an English translation, by Fr Luke Hartung, from a teaching on family life by the late Elder Paisios the Athonite.

Geronta, a certain young man who has chosen the married life asked me how one properly begins this.

From the beginning, he should seek to find a good girl who will comfort him, as people are relaxed and find comfort differently with different people.

He should not seek to find someone who is rich or beautiful, but above all simple and humble. In other words, he should give more attention to interior rather than exterior beauty. When a girl is a positive person and capable of dealing with men, without having more womanly character than is necessary, this greatly helps the man to find immediate understanding and not a lot of headaches. If she also has fear of God and humility then they are able to join hands and pass the evil current of the world. If the young man is seriously considering a certain girl for a spouse, I think it is better that he first makes his intentions known to her parents through one of his relatives and afterwards he can discuss it himself with the young lady and her parents. Later, if they give their approval and the two are engaged – and it is better that the engagement not carry on too long – he should strive, throughout the passing time until marriage, to view her as his sister and respect her. If both of them struggle with philotimo [**] and keep their virginity, then in the Mystery of marriage, when the priest crowns them, they will richly take of the Grace of God. For, as St. John Chrysostom says, the crowns are symbols of victory against pleasure.

Then, as much as they are able, they must strive to cultivate the virtue of love and always remain two united, with the Third, our Sweetest Christ. Naturally, in the beginning, until they get themselves together and become well acquainted with one another, they will have certain difficulties. This happens with every new beginning. Why, just the day before yesterday I saw a baby bird. It had just gone out to find food and could only fly about an inch above the ground. The poor thing didn't know how to catch insects and wasted an hour trying to catch just one little bug to eat. As I watched it, I was considering how every beginning is difficult. When a student finally receives his diploma and begins working, in the beginning it is difficult. A novice in a monastery also has difficulties in the beginning. A young man, when he marries, again in the beginning is met with difficulties.

Geronta, does it matter if the woman is older than the man?

There is not a Church canon which says that, if a girl is two-three or even five years older than the young man, they are not able to be married.

Thanks to FWD from Fr Josiah Trenham.

** Philo′timos (filo′ tee mộs) adj. Grk, (o filotimoV) filo-love + timi-honor 1. one who out of deep gratitude loves and lives striving to think, say and do that which is honorable; one who aims eagerly at acting in an honorable and virtuous way in all situations and circumstances (i.e. with love, kind, modest, responsible, pain for others, loyal, dignified, just, humble, righteous, polite, integral, unselfish) 2. philo′ tee mộ n. (to filotimo) the inner disposition one has of grateful indebtedness (or responsive gratefulness), and the characteristic, virtuous demeanor of such a one, which is expressed in good thoughts, words and deeds. 3. Other words to describe; gracious, graceful. SOURCE


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Quick! Those of you on the Julian Calendar (happy feast, by the way) -- especially priests needing a pronto sermon idea ...

Go H E R E !

Whoever you are, click the above hyperlink and read about the Transfiguration of our Lord on Mount Tabor from a wonderfully different perspective.

Kudos, Jan!

As they say, in the South ... That'll preach!

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Back in August of 1977, following the rigors of after-school football practice, I was leaving the practice field with my buddies when I noticed my Mom and Dad sitting in our 1966 Ford pickup truck … my Mom was crying, my Dad looked sad.

I knew something -- some tragedy -- had happened …

As my mind raced to think of what friend or relative it might involve, my Mom stopped the sobs long enough to look my way through red-blood-shot eyes and blurt out:

Elvis is dead … Elvis died today, Son.

Then, she resumed crying. They were listening to the news on the radio. As I scanned the other parents in their cars in the high school parking lot, the mood could only be described as somber ... all tears, all ears ... tuned to the radio and the news of the singer’s death.

Elvis.

My family was on a first name basis with the King – as were most Southern working folks –

Elvis.

Truth be known, he’d seen us. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, back in 1972, we saw Elvis Presley in concert at the Charlotte Coliseum – and if you believe my Mom’s gal pal Pam ...

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio!

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It has gotten so hot and dry, the Baptists have gone to sprinkling, the Lutherans have started using baby wipes, the Presbyterians are passing out rain checks, and the Catholics have started praying that the wine will be turned back into water.

-- A note from my Carolina hometown pal, Roxanne.

Believe me Dry and Houston are currently antonyms!

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Oh! And for those of you wondering what Clergy do all week? Go HERE.

Thanks to Jean-Michel.
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By now you've no doubt heard about the Bishop who is advocating Christians calling God "Allah." (Uh oh -- wonder what Christians in the Middle East will think?) I've read some readers' comments on the news story and, well, I don't recommend it. Hence, the pic to the left. Don't worry, I'm gonta 'splain it all. Read on ...

Catholic churches in the Netherlands should use the name Allah for God to ease tensions between Muslims and Christians, says a Dutch bishop.

Tiny Muskens, the bishop of Breda, told the Dutch TV program "Network" Monday night he believes God doesn't mind what he is called, Radio Netherlands Worldwide reported. The Almighty is above such "discussion and bickering," he insisted.

Read that again.

Yes, the Bishop's name is "Tiny."

Muskens thinks it could take another 100 years, but eventually the name Allah will be used by Dutch churches, promoting rapprochement between the two religions, he said, according to Radio Netherlands.

However, a survey published today in the Netherlands' largest newspaper, De Telegraaf, showed 92 percent of the more than 4,000 people polled oppose the bishop's view, the Associated Press reported.

Some letters to the paper were filled with ridicule for the bishop.
"Sure. Lets call God Allah. Lets then call a church a mosque and pray five times a day. Ramadan sounds like fun," wrote Welmoet Koppenhol.

Y'all? Is this a gag? First they misspelled "The Telegraph" and then they found a guy named Welmoet?

Welmoet Koppenhol?

The chairman of the Protestant Church in the Netherlands, Gerrit de Fijter, told the Dutch paper he welcomed any attempt to "create more dialogue," according to the AP. But he said, "Calling God 'Allah' does no justice to Western identity. I see no benefit in it."

Okay ... that does it! Gerrit de Fijter?

When confused, turn to Google. Here's what I found:

Ds. De Fijter is lid van de Gereformeerde Bond in de Hervormde kerk. Hij was in de synode van de hervormde kerk de opvolger van voorzitter ds. A.W. van der Plas, eveneens lid van de gereformeerde bond.

Good heavens! What? No spellcheckers in the Netherlands? Thanks to Babel Fish, I got a translation:

D the Fijter are member of the gereformeerde bound in the reformed church. He was the church reformed in the synod of the continuator of President d A.W. of of the puddle pool, also member of the gereformeerde bound.

What! Oh my ... I tried another translator service, I had it deciphered into Moron:

Ds. Duh.De Fidgteh is lid ban de Gehef'meehde Bond in de Hehbormde kehk. Hidg was in de synode ban de hehbormde kehk de opbolgeh ban boorzitteh ds. A.W. ban deh Plas, duuhhhh, ebeneens lid ban de gehef'meehde bond.

... and Pig Latin:

dsay. Eday Ijterfay isyay idlay anvay eday Ereformeerdegay Ondbay inyay eday Ervormdehay erkkay. Ijhay asway inyay eday ynodesay anvay eday ervormdehay erkkay eday opvolgeryay anvay oorzittervay dsay. Ayay.way. anvay erday Asplay, eveneensyay idlay anvay eday ereformeerdegay ondbay.

A Muslim spokesman, for Amsterdam's union of Moroccan mosques, said Muslims had not asked for such a gesture from Christians, the AP reported.

O for Heaven's sake! Are we all mad here? Just use your own language for your own religion and stop trying to mix it all up.

Wait ...

I finally got a translation that's useable. Regarding a Bishop named "Tiny" -- in the words made famous by the Man in Black -- here's a familiar ditty sung by a Swedish Chef:

I gut ell chuked up und I throo doon my goon Und I celled heem my pa, und he-a celled me-a hees sun, Und I ceme-a evey veet a deefffferent pueent ooff feeoo. Und I theenk ebuoot heem, noo und zeen, Ifery teeme-a I try und ifery teeme-a I veen, Und iff I ifer hefe-a a sun, I theenk I'm gunna neme-a heem Beell oor Geurge-a! Unytheeng boot Sooe-a! I steell hete-a thet neme!

The News Story.

Thanks to FWDs from Robert Mahoney & my wife.
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O most holy Mother of God, O only Lady who art utterly pure in both soul and body, look upon me, abominable and unclean, who have blackened soul and body with the stains of my passionate and gluttonous life. Cleanse my passionate mind; set aright my blind and wandering thoughts and make them incorrupt; bring my senses to order and guide them; free me from my evil and repulsive addiction to unclean prejudices and passions which torment me; grant my clouded and wretched mind the sobriety and discernment to correct my intentions and failings that, freed from the darkness of sin, I might be worthy to boldly glorify and praise thee, O only true Mother of the true Light, Christ our God; for all creation, visible and invisible, blesses and glorifies thee, both with Him and in Him.

-- St Ephraim the Syrian, A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God, trans. Isaac Lambertson (Liberty, Tennessee: St. John of Kronstadt Press, 1997), p. 63.

On today's Feast -- from last year.

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"A time is coming when people will go mad and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, "You are mad, you are not like us."

-- St. Anthony the Great

Recently, in the United States ...

Presidential hopefuls in the Democrat Party participated in a forum devoted entirely to "Gay Issues."

Meanwhile, in the Empire-Formerly-Known-as-Evil ...

A spokesman for the Orthodox Church said Wednesday that Russia's schools should teach religious principles and moral values, and accused some of Russia's leading scientists of trying to impose the "ideology of science" on the school system.

The Church, he said, should play a leading role in setting moral standards for youth.

"We have to show them an unhappy homosexual in his 40s and an aging prostitute," he said. "Otherwise, in 30 years our children will turn into animals influenced by the cult of glamour and debauchery." Source


Elsewhere, in the much afflicted Anglican Communion ...

Some have criticized conservative Anglicans for their stance against homosexuality and accused them of being homophobic, but Gomez clarified that they are not against homosexual persons.

And the issue is about "homosexual practice" – a lifestyle about that is incompatible with Scripture, as the Anglican Communion affirms. But beyond the sexuality itself, Gomez pointed to the context and biblical revelation attached to homosexual practice.

"In the church's long history, the uninterrupted consensus is that physical intercourse is only intended for man and woman within marriage in a life long commitment. Anything else is contrary to God's will for humanity. The ground for the church taking this stand is the Bible and it is transparently clear about homosexual behavior."

Moreover, the vast majority of Christians hold the same stance as the conservative Anglicans on homosexuality, Gomez noted. It is "the liberals," mainly those in The Episcopal Church, who are in the minority. Source

Then, there's the Lutherans ...

The largest Lutheran body in the nation caused a stir Saturday after controversially deciding not to punish homosexual clergy who are in sexual relationships.

At its annual assembly, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) passed by a vote of 538-431 a resolution urging bishops to refrain from disciplining pastors who are in “faithful committed same-gender relationships”.

A day earlier, attendees voted down a measure that would have ended a ban on non-celibate gay clergy. Saturday’s vote, however, means those who violate that policy can no longer be tried or punished.

“The Church ... has just said 'Do not do punishments'. That is huge,” commented Phil Soucy, spokesman for Lutherans Concerned, a gay-lesbian rights group within ELCA.

The 4.8-million member church body had previously allowed gays to serve as pastors, but only under the condition that they abstained from any sexual relations.
Source

Then, there's this ...

The index fingers of most straight men are shorter than their ring fingers, and for most women they are the same length or longer. Gay men and lesbians tend to have reversed ratios.

If sexual orientation is biological, and we are learning to identify how it happens inside the uterus, doesn’t it suggest a future in which gay people can be prevented? This spring, R. Albert Mohler Jr., the president of a Southern Baptist theological seminary in Kentucky and one of the country’s leading Evangelical voices, advocated just that. “We want to understand why some persons will struggle with that particular sin,” he explained. “If there is a way we can help with the struggle, we should certainly be open to it, the same way we would help alcoholics deal with their temptation.”

That in part is why gay people have not hungered for this breakthrough.

More


(Face it, no matter your understanding, you held up your hand and took a look just to make sure. Didn't ya?)
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The following is by Fr Aris Metrakos.

Why do some men who are called to this role fail miserably while others succeed? Can seminarians be prepared for the presbytery in a way that is neither hyper-spiritualized ("just send them all to a monastery for a few years") nor McDonaldized ("we need to produce a consistent and dependable product to serve our parishes")? Can older priests learn to mentor young clergy without becoming their tormentors? What criteria do veteran priests use to evaluate themselves and and avoid stagnation in their ministries?

The frequent abuse of priests at the hands of the irrational, the ignorant, and the down right mean is the 300 pound gorilla of American Orthodoxy. Why are our seminaries filled with converts? At least one priest's young son knows the answer. When his father suggested that the 12 year-old would make a good priest, the boy responded without hesitation: "I've thought a lot about it and it would be pretty cool. But I see the way people treat you. I couldn't do that."

Not knowing ourselves can lead to disaster. Don't be a chancellor if you don't like administrative work. Don't apply for a Ph.D. program unless sitting in a library for hours on end doesn't bother you. Don't be a parish priest unless you know how to take a punch.

Read it all H E R E.

Thanks to FWD from Jean-Michel.

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The following is frivolous e-spam sent me by the Missuz; while you're here, you might as well read it ...

IDLE THOUGHTS OF A WANDERING MIND

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I am neither for nor against apathy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everyth ing else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists ... they don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height ... which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help groups?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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Much of the nation is currently in the midst of a summer heat wave; those of us in Houston welcome you …

It’s easy to make fun of the heat and humidity in Houston, you can even complain of the mosquitoes and the dreaded hurricane season ...

But, like a friend of mine says, “Heck, if it weren’t for heat, humidity, mosquitoes, and hurricanes … everyone would want to live here!”

Houston is also known for its hospitals ... Baylor College of Medicine, Texas Children’s, St Luke’s, Methodist, Hermann Memorial, MD Anderson (just to name a few) … the Texas Medical Center is like a city of tall buildings unto itself.

Hospitals have elevators. Houston has lots of -- many, many, many -- elevators.

In the past couple years I have become a quick study of elevator-ology. Assuming it's all spiritual warfare, please pardon my diversion to and fro a few floors of logic here -- perhaps even a good word or two -- while I speak of elevators.

Push the button, up or down. And wait. Sometimes you wait a long

long


Long


time ...

to go a couple floors.

That's if you're lucky.

Actually, if you're lucky ...

You might even know where you're going -- And get there in good time.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE HAVE A WINNER!

Many times, if you're like me, you're just winging your way through most of this chaos and, thank God and an over-worked Guardian Angel, you eventually make your destination.

Incidentally …

I remember once riding a hospital elevator – a car full of folks – in one of those hospitals where the 3rd floor, being a surgical floor, was not listed on the menu or overhead. One of the ladies said, “Hunh … wonder why they don’t have a THIRD floor.” Without thinking I said ...


Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.
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At the time that religious freedom is preached by Prime Minister Recep Tayip Erdogan, the Turkish occupation forces brutally expelled the abbot of the oldest Greek Cypriot Orthodox monastery this week.

Government Spokesman Vasilis Palmas condemned Thursday the expulsion of the abbot of the monastery of Apostolos Varnavas (Saint Barnabas) in the northern occupied part of Cyprus in the middle of a church service …

More.

Thanks to FWD from Jean-Michel.

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Back in my days in the Russian Church,where the length of the Saturday Vigil dictates perseverance, quality knees, and comfy shoes (or, as a friend calls it: 3 hours of back breaking, ankle swelling, Russian religion) ... Our Mission had a visitor one night -- a man who was in the area to interview with some sort of eye of newt, wing of bat Natural Foods / Macrobiotic type company.

After Vigil, I was tired and grumpy. Naturally, that was when there came a knock at the door. There stood the visitor rubbing his tummy and talking about being hungry and how he'd really like some Miso Soup.

Is this normal?

As if under a spell, I let him in. He asked if we had any Miso ... y'all, this was Western North Carolina -- of course we did!

Then, though I can't remember the potion directions, he brewed up some of the best Miso Soup I have ever, ever tasted.

Better yet, before ladling it out, he told me: "Fr Joseph, this will cure your grumpy mood this soup will open up the pores of your body -- revitalizing every cell; you will get the best night's sleep ... my words, not his: "It'll cure what ails ya."

It did.

It. Was. Amazing.

I thought of that guy, John Granger, yesterday when I finished the final installment of the Harry Potter series.

I thought of him the day before, too -- on the Feast of the Transfiguration -- when my family went for Miso Soup & Sushi following Liturgy.

Actually, I think of him every time I eat Miso Soup, which has never tasted so good as when Granger enchanted opened my pores.

Even as I was writing this blog post, while I was confirming events with my wife, my 13 year old (who has read all the HPs) exclaimed: "Y'all know John Granger?!!"

We said, "Yeah, why?"

"Because he's like the Harry Potter guy of the universe!"

We laughed -- "Huh?"

She said, "No ... I mean he's like the Harry-Potter-Christian-Symbolism Guy!"

That he is.

Still not sure about Harry Potter and Christianity?

Check out his Site, read his books -- and, trust me, if he ever knocks at your door rubbing his tummy and wanting to pull out the ol' cauldron ...

... you'd better have some Miso or prepare for a good hexing.

MORE.


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"You haven't updated your blog since the Dragon Thing?"

That was yesterday.

This morning, 6 AM ... I read the last word in Book Seven.

Now what?

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Thursday, July 26th started out like any other day …

That is until 10:30 AM.

I live and work in Houston, Texas. My parish is St George. And it was on that day, Thursday, July 26th, that I must begin this week’s Podcast …

As I said, it was like any other day … except for the Big Black SUV that pulled into St George Church parking lot at approximately 10:30 AM. From my office window, I only noticed that I did not recognize the man emerging in the dark RayBan sunglasses. That’s nothing unusual; it’s a big city, big parish … and sunglasses in Houston? Common.

Things got a little curiouser when the secretary, Diane, yelled back: “Fr Joseph … a Mister Mister here to see you.”

Having survived the 80’s I’d heard of Mister Mister … they’d only had a couple hit songs in the -- "Broken Wings", the chorus of which was later sampled on the 2Pac single "Until the End of Time". They had several number 1 MTV videos and headlined the first MTV Spring Break show in 1986. Mr Mister had several Grammy Award nominations including the 1986 Grammy for "Best Pop Band" (which ended up going to the "We Are the World" people).

During this time, Mr. Mister toured with other popular acts including Don Henley, The Bangles, Eurythmics, Adam Ant, and Tina Turner …

They even had a song called “Kyrie” -- probably my first exposure to Greek Orthodoxy … though I had no idea.

But, I digress …

I replied: “Who?”

“A Mr Mister,” she said.

Oh well … though I’d thought they were a group, stranger things have happened.

So I walked out into the foyer and greeted Mr Mister: “Hello, I’m Fr Joseph …”

“Mister Mister,” he replied. “I represent the People for the Ethical Treatment of Dragons … got a place where we can sit down?”

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.
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Conciliar Press, a department of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America, and Ancient Faith Radio, the popular and growing pan-Orthodox media site, have received the blessing of Metropolitan PHILIP to unite operations, and to work together in their efforts to glorify God and advance the cause of Christ and His Church.

This important merger will combine the strength of CP’s thirty years experience in traditional print publishing with AFR’s exciting new communications technologies such as Internet radio and podcasting.

Our first collaborative effort is the launching in September 2007 of the AGAIN Audio Journal, a monthly podcast featuring the most compelling voices in Orthodoxy today.

Conciliar Press Ministries and Ancient Faith Radio are honored to make this wonderful announcement, and look forward to sharing additional details as soon as they are available from Fr. Thomas Zell and John Maddex, the leaders of these newly united ministries. May it be blessed!
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