Saturday, May 31, 2008

 

Ortho-Man!

Some of you may be surprised to learn that Houston, Texas, is a burgeoning market for Hollywood-style big budget productions.

Movies, that is.

With all the summer offerings of fantastic heroes like Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Speed Racer, and, in the past, Superman, the Hulk, Spiderman ... Napoleon Dynamite and the like … it was only a matter of time before someone came up with the idea of an Orthodox Superhero.

And, wouldn’t you know, they’d choose to film it in Houston!

We’ve got a gal in our parish who works with such projects and she asked if I’d like to be a consultant; to view some of the scenes already in production, help out with proposed scenes, etc.

“Sure,” I said.

I mean, who wouldn’t!

All night, the night before, I kept imagining what I might expect to find on the set of ORTHO-MAN.

I thought back to my own childhood, back before God created color … back in the days of Black & White.

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!
It’s SUPERMAN!

Maybe, in the spirit of Orthodox unity and all, I could expect …

Look! There in the altar! It’s a Greek! It’s an Arab! It’s a Slav!
(He ain’t heavy – he’s a Convert -- he’s my brother …)
It’s ORTHO-MAN!

Ungh. Sorry …

That was kind of silly, but not nearly as silly as what I found the next day when I was ushered onto the set of ...


The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

 

The Ear Bird (the Angel cried) Gets the Worm

There I was last week, lying on the psychiatrist’s couch, recounting my history of … ear worms.

Truth be known, I think it all started last year during a Podcast where I sang Billy Don’t Be a Hero, a favorite among earworm sufferers.
It’s a common problem: Music, stuck in your head, not whole songs just snippets, usually songs you loathe.

“And they called it puppy love …”

See.

# 3 for Donny Osmond in 1972

Earworms.

Earworm is a term – invented by James Kellaris -- for a portion of a song or other musical material that becomes "stuck" in a person's "head" or repeats against one's will within one's mind. Studies haved demonstrated that different people have varying susceptibilities to earworms, but that almost everybody has been afflicted with one at some time or another.

Last week, thanks in part to my yearly struggle with the Sunday of the Samaritan Woman (more on that later), I decided to get help …

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

 

The ArchB on the AFR

One of the most effective tools for evangelism in our Archdiocese is Ancient Faith Radio. With its 2 stations and dozens of podcasts featuring many of the major voices for the Orthodox faith, Ancient Faith Radio is proving to be a formidable outreach being used to bring people into the Orthodox faith and to help teach the Faith to those who are already in it. I am happy to add my endorsement to this wonderful ministry.

--His Eminence Metropolitan PHILIP
Archbishop of New York and Metropolitan of All North America

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Monday, May 19, 2008

 

Book Sale! Book Sale!


Well, sorta. With gas and postage increases -- not to mention the fact that I'd forgotten to include shipping & handling charges on One Flew Over the Onion Dome -- the S&H rate on book orders through PayPal (side margin, to the left) will be increasing on Wednesday, May 21st.

Order now -- save money!

THANKS.

Christ is Risen!

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

 

Joy Comes in the Mourning (Dove)

Growing up in the country (and this may shock city slickers) there was a time when, at Easter, farmers would sell little chicks that had been died different colors -- like Easter eggs! These were live Peeps. On the couple of occasions that I owned one, I loved them too much. That is, I held them and held them and held them … and they died. I was told that if you hold them too much, they die. (I don’t know if that was the cause or not, but as a small kid ... it was a bit of a devastation.)

Then there was the boy of 8 or 10 years old with the BB Gun, trying to shoot a bird ... a sparrow.

Till … unbelievable …

It happened!

I shot a bird!

As it fell from the tree, so did my heart in equal measure -- my mind racing, “O Gosh, I hope he’s not hurt!”

Hurt? Hello! You shot him!

Conflicting conversations in my head …


The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Friday, May 16, 2008

 

Funnies from Church Bulletins

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Yes, I know ... many of these even I've seen before! But, always good to LOL or at least slightly smile.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

 

ROCOR's New Met on the WCC


Moscow, May 13, Interfax - The new First Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia (ROCOR) doubted the relevancy of the World Council of Churches.

"The Moscow Patriarchate participates in the World Council of Churches for the purposes of maintaining a dialogue among Christians, but we can see that there is hardly any union reached, and this organization has lost its importance," said the First Hierarch Hilarion in his interview published by the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily on Tuesday.

According to Archbishop Hilarion, the foreign clergy and the laity have been interested in the Moscow Patriarchate's participation in this organization since 1960s, when Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople Athenagoras and Pope Paul VI rescinded the excommunications of the Great Schism, "which the Orthodox and Catholic Churches imposed against each other in 1054."

"There were even certain instances of a communal prayer, which is strictly prohibited by our canons. But in 2000, the Moscow Patriarchate explicitly defined in its order, that the true Orthodox Church is the one initially created by Jesus. And Christians who diverted in their due times from the initial Church are not true Christians, and their belief is false. The Moscow Patriarchate indicates, the same as we do, that it is impossible to hold common services with those who had diverted," says Metropolitan Hilarion.

Source

I realize the above news clip will not please my Roman Catholic readers, thus I hope they'll further forgive me for the following by Fr Chrysostom MacDonnell, taken from "An Orthodox view of Church History" ...

A few years ago I met an Anglican clergyman who was married to a Greek Orthodox lady. They once went to Greece for a holiday and visited her home village. Naturally, she introduced her Anglican husband to the local Papas (the Greek Orthodox parish priest,) who spoke a little English. At the time there was a little old Greek lady standing beside them who asked the Greek priest who this visitor was.

"He’s an Anglican Christian," the priest responded in Greek.

"What’s an Anglican?" the old lady inquired.

"They’re Protestants," replied the priest. "You know, like Roman Catholics."

Source

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

 

Star Wars Church Kerfuffle

HOLYHEAD, Wales — A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape ... and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church, was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court.

He also whacked Jones' 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.

The two cousins and Barney Jones' brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the "Star Wars" films.

The group, which claims about 30 members, says ...

Go H E R E for the story.

Thanks to FWD from an Orthodox Seminarian.


Oh! And while we're at it ...

"The Vatican's chief astronomer says that believing in aliens does not contradict faith in God. "

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Plush Hairy Back

There's a little ice cream shop in Sam Houston's "hometown" of Huntsville where we'd popped in before, on the tail end of a previous camping trip. There we sat again, but this time we noticed the sign. As you exit the goody shop, it hangs by a window: "Please hurry back." Though, seeing as how we'd lived in the woods for a couple nights, anything could be anything. It suddenly read: "Plush hairy back." At least that's what the dad said -- not sure the mom had as much fun with it, but the kids loved it. They kept giggling and repeating "plush hairy back." I have no idea what the other cold cream consumers thought; no matter, they'd just have to forgive us ... we'd been camping.

I have noticed, over the years, a pattern. Day One of camping is full of perpetual anxiety, where one is easily tempted: short fuse, argggh, pack everthing, arggh, go go go, argggh, set up tent, argggh, everything this and everything that, arggh ...

Till about bedtime, when one goes, "Ah ... this is nice."

(The young'ns & the monument aren't really connected. Neither, apparently, is earth to boy.)




No matter how one sleeps that first night, the second day is unlike its predecessor. Entirely. Families who camp may suddenly notice that, Gee ... we're a family. Look at us! There's time to, well, do ... nothing. Though hikes and swimming and meals (and Lord knows those continual walks to the public toilet) hack away at the day ... Day Two is worth all the arggh of Day One.




By the 3rd day ... you, a parent, might even justify S'mores before breakfast!




You know you've been in the Texas heat a bit too long when you go looking for alligators!






Arrghhhhhhhh!

Oh, wait. That's no Blair Witch and we're no longer in the woods ... just Whacky Day at Kindergarten.

Which means school's almost out ...

Which can only mean ...

Parents, repeat after me:

Arrghhhhhhhh!

But all the happy campers (and I'm sure the teachers) say:


"Plush hairy back."


(S'mores in the morning not available in all areas.)

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Monday, May 12, 2008

 

ROCOR's New Metropolitan

There was only one bishop who voted for another candidate ...

Vladika Hilarion himself.

May God grant him many years!

Thanks to news from Fathers John Whiteford & Mark Mancuso.

UPDATE: The official word, thanks to Fr Andrew Damick, is --

On April 29 (May 12), 2008, on the feast day of the Nine Martyrs of Cyzicus, we, the undersigned bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia, having gathered in the church of our Most-Holy Queen, the Mother of God and Most-Pure Mary, in honor of the Miracle-working Icon of the Sign, by means of secret ballot, elected the Primate of the Russian Church Abroad, for which 8 written ballots were submitted by the bishops in attendance and 3 ballots from absent bishops. Upon unsealing the ballots, the following votes were revealed:

Archbishop Hilarion 9

Archbishop Mark 2

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

 

"He's in a better place" ... than Dixie?

We hear it from time to time: a silly thing, really. Truth be known, we’ve probably even said it.
He’s in a better place …

She’s in a better place …

And, if you’ve said it before, forgive me, I’m not talking about you. Lord knows I’ve probably even said it.

Sometimes when we try to comfort someone who has just lost a loved one, we say:

He’s in a better place.

or,

She’s in a better place.

I don’t think it’s just a Southern thing -- He’s in a better place -- though it could be. But, we’ll come back to that in a moment …

When we were on our way to converting to Orthodoxy 15 years ago, a young man (now known as Fr Paul the Monk or Monk Paul Hagiopavlites) -- he and I were on our way to St Ignatius Orthodox Church in Franklin, Tennessee. We were laughing about a lot of things – discovering Orthodoxy can be quite fun! – and I used the word “Orthodixie” to describe ourselves … two Southern boys, raised in the Baptist Church, on our way to Orthodoxy ...

THEN … we saw Fr Gordon Walker’s son, Tom, give a concert at St Ignatius – sort of Country Christian Convert meets Constantinople – and I told Fr Gordon later that we’d dubbed his son’s music …

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

 

Bunny Apocalypse

Okay, so this has nothing to do with Orthodoxy nor, truly, the season ..

Also, having a ten year old boy watch the 26 episodes with you is better than the best laugh track.

My son's favorites were "Bunny vs the Elements" and "Bunny vs Doggy" and "Bunny vs Sauce Pan."

Forgive me (and/or enjoy)!

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

 

AFR ican-American Orthodoxy

Fr Moses Berry talks about the annual Ancient Christianity conference sponsored by The Brotherhood of St. Moses the Black.



May 30 - June 1, in Ash Grove/Springfield, MO.

Listen here.

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Monday, May 05, 2008

 

A Note to the EU RE Christianophobia

The EU leadership makes laudable efforts to help immigrants from Islamic countries to embrace European values and to fully integrate into European society. An environment of tolerance is being created, whereby every person, regardless of his or her beliefs, must feel at home.

I believe, however, that secular ideologies should not be regarded as the main basis for creating a society of tolerance and mutual respect. A secular or atheist ideology cannot serve as a common denominator for all of the different world views that exist in Europe.

I also believe that tolerance should not be promoted at the expense of Christians, who continue to constitute the majority in Europe's population. Instances of Christianophobia and of discrimination against Christians should be officially condemned. The public display of Christian symbols should nowhere in Europe be prohibited, and the celebration of Christian feasts should nowhere be discouraged in the name of falsely-understood tolerance.

One would expect from the EU authorities that they will do more to protect Europe's Christian heritage. This relates, in particular, to the Kosovo region, where churches are being brutally destroyed, and thousands of Christians are left homeless or forced into exile. It also relates to that part of Cyprus which is still unlawfully occupied by Turkish military forces, where churches are being ruined and the remaining Christian population continues to suffer excessively.

Turkey aspires towards membership in the European Union, while at the same time continuing to neglect the needs of its Christian population. Turkey's refusal to reopen the theological school on Halki, in spite of repeated requests from the Patriarchate of Constantinople, is but one of many examples of such neglect. This largely anti-Christian policy is presently enforced by the official denial of the atrocities committed against Christians in the past, such as the genocide of Armenians, Greeks and Assyrians. I hope that the EU will use the mechanism of negotiation with Turkey in order to ensure that crimes of the past will never be repeated in the future, and that religious minorities in Turkey will be treated according to civilized standards.

-- Bishop Hilarion of Vienna and Austria

Taken from EUROPICA - The Bulletin of the Representation of the Russian Orthodox Church to the European Institutions

Access this and more H E R E.

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

 

What It Takes

It was years ago – perhaps in another reality – but a man came up to me and asked:

Do you have what it takes?

I said, "What are you talking about?"

What It Takes … he repeated.

Then he showed me a book.

I looked down and saw the title of the book, written large in Sharpie on Duct Tape over a floppy leather cover, it read: What It Takes.

I reached out for What It Takes and he quickly put it behind his back.

I said, "Let me see it."

He said, What?

I said, "Give me What It Takes."

What do you mean? he said.

"What It Takes! You showed me a book, you said it was What It Takes and now you've hid it from me."

Well, that’s my point, he said, you don’t have it.

"I know," I said. "May I have it?"

You can only have it with me attached to it …

"What? "

What it takes.

"What do you mean?"

You said, he said, that you wanted What It Takes … I’m willing to give it to you …

"Well, okay! Give me What It Takes!"

Ah … not so fast, my friend, you must ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.


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