ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.

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This faded face, with a pointed beard and furrowed brow, is believed to be the oldest image in existence of St Paul the Apostle.

Vatican archaeologists uncovered the fresco in a catacomb beneath Rome with the help of a laser, which cleared away centuries of grime, clay and limestone.

The image was created in the 4th century, according to Barbara Mazzei, the director of work at the catacomb.

Oops! Wrong image. (But, Peter & Paul are often pictured together, similarly, in iconography. For those on the so-called New Calendar, Happy Feast!)

Hang on ...

There:



The whole story of this remarkable find: HERE.

And, on this Feast Day, the story of finding/uncovering of St Paul's relics - HERE.

We'll leave the whole controversy around the finding/unveiling of the -- THE -- Ark of the Covenant for another day.

Here.

Here.

Here.

HERE.

And, here, too.

UPDATE: Here's a news story that makes for good reading on the current controversy surrounding the location/unveiling of the Ark of the Covenant.

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A while back, a Russian television crew was in Texas filming a segment for the popular Russian news show "Orthodox Encyclopedia". The film crew spent an afternoon at St George, Houston. This link will take you to a 24 minute video segment, in Russian, which begins at the state capitol in Austin. At about 10:22 into the segment, Fr John Salem shows the host of Encyclopedia, Fr Alexey Uminskiy (Протоиерей Алексий Уминский), our church. I come in a little later, at the 12:00 mark.

It may take a while for the video segment to load; I recommend: Hit play, hit pause ... come back to it in 5-10 minutes and play should remain constant depending on your computer set-up/connection

Now, honest to goodness, the part where I show Fr Alexey my books, One Flew Over the Onion Dome and Defeating Sin was staged and set up -- as presented -- by the producer of the piece. But it looks like, as Fr John Whiteford (who forwarded me the link) said to our Houston Clergy Association: "Fr. Joseph manages to plug his books to the Russian audience for this TV show."

Heh heh ...

More on the crew's visit to Houston may be found here.

Here's the website (in Russian) for Fr Alexey's parish in Russia.

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I recently sat down with Fr Matthew MacKay (St Joseph, Houston) and Fr Richard Petranek (St Paul, Houston), both American Converts, and spoke with them about their recent mission trip to Syria, their meeting with the Patriarch, the holy sites, Syrian hospitality, and a hospital where it can be said of the doctor, "Father knows best."

PICTURE: Fathers Matthew and Richard and their DOWAMA mission team (pictured behind the clergy, L-R: Dwayne, Ruth, Wes, Salvatore, Andrew, Ron, Rene, and Marilee) just happened to be in Syria at the same time as some of the American Antiochian bishops. Fr Matthew is seated to your far left, Fr Richard to your far right -- in the midst of them is pictured, from left to right: His Grace, Bishop MARK, His Eminence, Metropolitan SABA [Archdiocese of Bosra-Hauran (Southwest Syria)], His Grace, Bishop BASIL, and His Grace, Bishop THOMAS.

Both of these men, Fr Matthew and Fr Richard, have a great sense of humor, but we tried to keep the conversation sober and serious. However, when piecing it all together for upload, I noticed there are a few stray chuckles here and there that lack context.

Forgive us that -- and enjoy!

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.


UPDATE: The following email, excerpted and edited here, was sent to me in response to the priests' mentioning that Protestant missionaries are flooding the country ... and, as it's against the law to convert Muslims, they are "evangelizing" the Orthodox.

-- Begin AFR listener's email --

Please let that Syrian bishop know that the American "missionaries" are the way that his, the oldest group of Christians, can legally spread the faith. These missionaries are not Muslim, so the laws against trying to convert them don't apply. Tell him that he has the love, faith, and patience to help these poor Americans discover the first century church. They don't know about apostolic succession. They don't know about weeping icons and other such miracles. They don't know the difference between veneration and worship. They don't realize that they worship the bible and that we don't worship icons. Gently lead them to the truth.

"Oh, thank you, you have a bible for me. Great. I have a bible for you too, only it has more books in it. Martin Luther took out the parts he didn't like. Let me show you ..."

"Oh, you want to show me the love of Jesus Christ. Thank you so much. You may stay in my home for several months. I will feed and care for you as a brother. This is the hospitality which is normal for my culture. We put up pilgrims all the time. What's a hotel?"

"I would love to sing a hymn with you. After we are done with yours, I have one from the second century you'll really love!"

"Tithing and generosity are very Christian, it is true. I agree. Why, this vestment alone took 8 women their entire lifetimes to complete. They gave their handiwork, and unfortunately, their eyesight, to the church. What do you tithe?"

"What you smell are Frankincense and myrrh with many other spices. The recipe for this one is in Leviticus. How does your church use scent to bring people closer to the divine?"

I could go on and on. Virtually everything that is done or seen in an Orthodox Church has a deep meaning and history to it. Virtually everything in a Protestant church does not. Be not afraid, Bishop. You sound so wonderful and pious. Take the opportunity to help the "missionaries" in Syria to truly convert. I'll pray for you and for them. Please pray for me.

-- End AFR listener's email --
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What would it take for this reconciliation to occur? The Metropolitan [JONAH] was explicit:

Full affirmation of the orthodox Faith of the Apostles and Church Fathers, the seven Ecumenical Councils, the Nicene Creed in its original form (without the filioque clause inserted at the Council of Toledo, 589 A.D.), all seven Sacraments and a rejection of 'the heresies of the Reformation."

His Beatitude listed these in a series of 'isms'; Calvinism, anti-sacramentalism, iconoclasm and Gnosticism. The ordination of women to the Presbyterate and their consecration as Bishops has to end if intercommunion is to occur.

These are controversial words, especially given the make up of the Assembly, which is admittedly divided on key issues such as the ordination of women, the nature and number of the Sacraments and perhaps the essential character of the Church itself. Still, the delegates welcomed his candor with applause, perhaps because His Beatitude was self-evidently "speaking the truth with love." Less controversially, he called for a true renunciation of sin and immorality, "We must eliminate any shred of immorality in our lives," not least because sin "kills and maims the soul," likewise immorality, which destroys the soul and "demoralizes our culture." Coming from a faith tradition fully alive to the aggressive threat of militant Islam, the Metropolitan issued the following warning:; a culture demoralized by immorality "cannot stand up to the strict asceticism of Islam."

He then spoke to the current blurring of gender identity. Homosexualism not only "destroys authentic masculinity, it destroys authentic womanhood." Again, "gay ideology is neither from nurture or nature... we cannot accept their lifestyle or validate their unions." These are not something healthy, but "something to be healed". His Beatitude was equally emphatic on abortion, "Abortion not only rips out the soul of the fetus from the body of a woman, it rips out her own soul also... We must stand together in an absolute condemnation of abortion." The Assembly rose in thunderous acclamation ...

[His Beatitude was speaking yesterday, Wednesday - June 23rd, at the Anglican Church in North America Assembly.]

Full story - here.

Thanks to FWD from Fr Miguel Grave de Peralta.
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First things first, let me just say that I hope you all have a wonderful honeymoon! And may God grant you many years!

You are preparing for the HONEYMOON, yes?

Remember?

June 23rd is what’s known as Midsummer Night’s Eve. It’s also called St John’s Eve. It is the eve of the Feast of the Nativity of St John the Baptist, June 24th.

St John the Baptist, Scripture tells us, lived in the Wilderness where he subsisted on a diet of locust and honey. St John is, therefore, the patron of beekeepers. It’s around the time that we celebrate St John’s Birthday, June 24th, that the hives are full of honey.

And the full moon that occurs after Midsummer’s Eve & St John’s Nativity is called the Mead Moon, because honey was fermented to make mead. It is also called the HONEY MOON. [In 2009, this full moon occurs the first full week of July.]

It’s a time for lovers. An old Swedish proverb says, “Midsummer Night is not long but it sets many cradles rocking.” Midsummer dew was said to have special healing powers. Women washed their faces in it to make themselves beautiful and young.

Here’s a sixteenth century definition of HONEYMOON: The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure ... originally having no reference to the period of a month, but comparing the mutual affection of newly-married persons to the changing moon which is no sooner full than it begins to wane; now, usually, the holiday spent together by a newly-married couple, before settling down at home.

According to some sources, the HONEYMOON is a relic of marriage by capture, based on the practice of the husband going into hiding with his wife to avoid reprisals from her relatives, with the intention that the woman would be pregnant by the end of the month.

As a woman’s cycle runs much like that of the moon, the time to conceive a child was between the time of marriage (or capture) and the HONEY MOON.

It has also been said that the origins of this word date back to the times of Babylon. In order to increase the virility and fertility of the newly-weds, the father of the bride would provide his son-in-law with all the mead (the fermented honey-based drink) he could drink during the first month of the marriage (and, therefore, moon).

The custom of drinking mead after a wedding for a month was also a medieval custom.

Other possible explanations of the word HONEYMOON have to do with the date that weddings traditionally took place. Weddings commonly took place during this time of year for practical reason. That is, it was the time between the planting season and the harvesting season. As it was also this time of year that honey was harvested … again we have the HONEYMOON.

In many parts of Europe it was traditional to supply a newly married couple with enough honey drink -- mead -- to last a month, ensuring happiness and fertility. From this practice we get HONEYMOON.

[It is about this time in this post when some are wondering what in the world all this has to do with anything – even more so, Orthodoxy!]

Friends, the connection is the Forerunner of the God-Man, John the Baptist.

Granted, we don’t normally think of John the Baptist when we think of HONEYMOON. In fact, we probably don’t think of the Forerunner in any other way than somber, austere, severe.

John the Baptist never shows up on any of those Fantasy Dinner Guest Lists: like Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Shakespeare, Plato, and Jesus.

First of all there’s the whole “Repent thing” and then there’s the menu … I mean, hello, only locusts and honey?

Forgive me.

The Feast day of the Birth of St John the Baptist is the oldest feast in both the Greek and Latin liturgies, set for June 24th. It is said that this may be the date of his birth. While many saint’s days are celebrated on the date of their death, Scripture relates that St John the Forerunner was “filled with the Holy Spirit even from his mother’s womb" -- thus, his birth. Therefore we keep St John’s memory on his birthday.

Which brings me to St John’s parents, Zacharias & Elizabeth. They were old; the HONEYMOON was long ended.

They had reached that time in life where one sets affections toward things above, where the HONEYMOON is a distant memory, and preparations for the end of life have begun.

It may have even been that Elizabeth, as was custom upon reaching a certain age, was now dressing all in black -- a realistic outlook, but also one of mourning.

As Thomas Howard related a while back in TOUCHSTONE magazine: “The twilight of one’s life, surely, ought to illumine one’s path toward the attitudes of which the saints speak: resignation, recollection, renunciation, detachment, silence, waiting, patience, withdrawal, simplicity, stillness … and contentedness.”

YET, Zacharias and Elizabeth found out in their old age that the were going to have a baby! Can you imagine? Long after the HONEYMOON, long after the so-called Child-Bearing Years, after years of disappointment and struggle, at a very advanced age -- an Angel appeared to Zacharias and told him he was going to be a DADDY!

* * *

The story is told of a young novice who asked his Elder: "Master, why does God hide the number of our days? I mean, why is it that we cannot know when our end will come?"

And the Elder replied, “My son, if man knew the number of his days, he would do nothing – he would achieve nothing – there would be no struggle, no art, no progress, no growth … only sorrow. He would spend what days he does have in dread of that one day, his last.

* * *

Remember, Zacharias and Elizabeth were old, barren. Zacharias was serving one day in the temple …

And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And Zechari'ah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechari'ah, for your prayer is heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth; for he will be great before the Lord, and he shall drink no wine nor strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. And he will turn many of the sons of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Eli'jah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared."

And Zechari'ah said to the angel, "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years." And the angel answered him, "I am Gabriel, who stand in the presence of God; and I was sent to speak to you, and to bring you this good news. And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things come to pass, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time."

And, we all know the story; at his birth, when Zacharias affirmed that his name was JOHN, his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed … and, filled with the Holy Spirit, Zacharias prophesied, saying, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people, And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways.”

* If Zacharias and Elizabeth had known that they would have no children … would spend most of their days in barrenness … only to have a child in their old age … Would they still have married?

* If Zacharias and Elizabeth had known that at the innocent age of 18 months their only son would be hunted by murderers … Would they still have prayed to have a child?

* If Zacharias had foreseen that Elizabeth would have to flee with their only child to live in the desert … Would he have gone through it all?

* According to the tradition of the Church, Zacharias was notably silent on one other occasion. When Christ was born and Herod issued his infamous edict to slay all of the male children two years of age and under in Bethlehem and its surrounding areas, Elizabeth took John and fled into the wilderness. Zacharias stayed behind in the temple, and when Herod’s soldiers questioned him about his son’s whereabouts, he steadfastly remained silent, causing him to lose his life.

* If Zacharias and Elizabeth had foreseen that Zacharias would be murdered in the Temple by those searching for his child … Would they have done differently?

* Had Elizabeth and Zacharias known that their only son was to be beheaded at 30 years of age, thanks to the lustful thoughts of a wicked ruler … What would they have done?

Would Zacharias and Elizabeth have gone through it all?

I believe the answer, all things considered, is “Yes.” Because God chooses those who are faithful, His wonders to perform.

The image of the son of Zacharias and Elizabeth adorns most every iconostasis in every Orthodox temple throughout the world and all ages.

God works through all things with those who love Him.

With God’s love, unlike earthly moons, there is no waxing and waning – only our feeble understanding of great and awesome mysteries. It shall all be clearer at the wedding feast of the Lamb.

You know the Lamb … the one of whom John the Baptist says: “"Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!”

St John the Baptist, the fruit of faithful parents, Zacharias and Elizabeth -- the Forerunner of the God-Man, Christ, the Saviour of the World.

Through the prayers of St John the Forerunner, may God have mercy on us and save us.

Oh, and again, let me just say that I hope you all have a wonderful HONEYMOON! And may God grant you many years!


Taken from an Orthodixie Podcast which aired on Ancient Faith Radio in June 2007.

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Ladies and Gentlemen …

Welcome to the inaugural edition of my new Orthodox radio program: Hot Rockin', Flame Throwin', But Old Timey!

Gone will be that sweet ol’ homey Orthodixie Podcast show intro, swapped out for a hipper & edgier sound. Ready? (Oh, I can’t wait to debut this!) Here goes:

[insert Hot Rockin', Flame Throwin', But Old Timey show intro]

This will be a radio talk show where I not only have callers, but will also be airing some commercials … once we get some sponsors, of course. If you would like to sponsor this radio program, please contact the EOC (Eastern Orthodox Christian) Network at 1-800-COR-RECT.

That's 1-800-COR-RECT.

Perhaps the most innovative portion of the show will be the News Bulletin Alerts …

I know, I know … everyone’s caught up in Orthodox newsy gossip these days – what, with all the goings on here and abroad, with bishops, websites, patriarchs, listserves, synods, Yahoo groups, seminars and all … and Hot Rockin', Flame Throwin', But Old Timey wants to keep you up-to-date on the latest happenings ...

* * * * * News Alert Stinger * * * * *

Uhhp! There it is, hot off the wire, ladies and gentlemen … this just in:

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Thanks to all who submitted evangelism ideas -- and congrats to all 7 winners who will each be receiving a copy of The SmallTown Heroes new CD, "Lo, the Hard Times".

To buy your copy of Lo, the Hard Times (and help build an Orthodox church) -- go HERE.
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Back in the day, the DJ would say: "Be the 97th caller to win!"

You don't think he actually answered the phone for 96 losers do ya?

Nope. In my experience we'd answer and say, "You're caller 3" ... "Your caller 10" ... "Caller 25" ... etc.

[I mean, what if listeners were lazy or few and the same gal kept hearing "You're caller number one!" Then, "You're caller two!" ... etc.]

I have no idea how it works with modern radio contests, but here at Orthodixie it works like this ...

Listen to last week's podcast rebroadcast for info on how to win a free CD -- "Lo, the Hard Times" -- by The SmallTown Heroes.

This. Is. A. Great. CD.

The group is composed of Orthodox Christians who are trying to build a new Orthodox church in Indiana. I don't care much for what passes as "Contemporary Christian Music", praise music -- or any of that stuff. But I do appreciate good folk-country-bluegrass. I like "Lo, the Hard Times" very much. You will, too.

Trust me.

Plus, I need your help -- check out the podcast for contest details and pop me an email with the needed ideas at Orthodixie At Aol Dot Com.

Thanks!

(Contest ends tomorrow -- so "call" now!)
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St George Antiochian Orthodox Church and Annunciation Greek Orthodox Cathedral team up each year to host Vacation Bible School. This year, we're at the Cathedral with a Group curriculum: "Paul and the Underground Church".

Fr John Salem, Fr Nicholas Hadzellis and I are teaching the kids about the ancient Church (through prayer, song, and chat): using water, oil, wine, incense, and bread.

Today, we did water.

Q&A, especially with the youngest youth, is always unpredictable. Fr Nicholas wound up with some answers to his questions today that were a hoot.

1) When defining "holy", Fr Nicholas asked if the kids had ever heard about Moses and the Burning Bush. Some of them had, but he reminded them of the story a bit and then asked: "Why did God, speaking through the Burning Bush, ask Moses to take his shoes off?"

One kid said: "Because ... he was on fire?"

Ba-dump-bump!

[We priests got a chuckle about that after the group left ... From the Burning Bush: "Stop, Drop, and Roll".]

2) A later group of kids was providing answers as to the various uses of water in the Church when Fr Nicholas asked: "Did you know that the priest pours hot water into the Chalice prior to Communion?" Some did, others did not. He continued, "Do you know what the priest says when he's doing this?"

A boy said: "No. I don't know ... because I don't go to your church."

Heh!

Another said: "Yeah, that's what we do our my house!"

(As you can see, one can learn a lot at VBS. :)

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But first, a little back story ...


These two young PKs were spotted recently at the Parish Life Conference in Wichita, Kansas. (Though the content is unknown, you can almost hear them singing in this pic.)


They'd obviously been drinking -- but I have it on good authority that this pic was taken after their singing and not before.


These guys, the St George, Houston, Bible Bowlers studied very hard and put up a good fight -- finishing in fourth place [1) St Elijah, OKC; 2) St George, Wichita; 3) St George, El Paso.] Next year!

When it became obvious to the large Houston cheering section that our team was not going to bring home the gold this year, one of those young ladies said, "Dad, since we're not holding up the signs and yelling any more ... can I go sit with my friend?"

Appreciating her 7 year old plight, without knowing who or where her friend was (but trusting her), I said, "Sure, sweetie."

Here's her friend ...


Heh! Now, truth be known, her sidekick was to be found on the other knee and, at least according to the following picture, sometimes being a Bishop ain't all bad:


Glory to God for all things!

Being a kid ain't all bad either, right?

Right?



This final shot is what happens when the PK gets bored on the 10 hour drive home and uses mom's camera to take 17 pictures of herself, without her sidekick (or even her brother, who was at Scout Camp, or her sister, who was asleep). Trust me, I have spared you the other sixteen pics -- many of which resemble what dentists and doctors have to see daily.

Many thanks to St Mary, Wichita, for hosting such a wonderfully smooth Parish Life Conference, and to His Grace, Bishop BASIL, for being such a loving and approachable ... friend.
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I don't follow Country Music (or any popular music) these days, and I was never a Sammy Kershaw fan. But, when I saw this picture of a railroad car converted into an Orthodox Chapel, that song "She's the Little Queen of My Double Wide Trailer" came to mind.

We once converted a three car garage into a very nice little Orthodox "temple" -- complete with blue onion dome -- which looked surprisingly similar to the one pictured here.

Our first Divine Liturgy in that space was on Pentecost Sunday, 1996 -- before the renovation. In other words, we "did church" in an honest to goodness garage. With no air conditioning (and how many three car garages have windows?), we had to serve the Liturgy with the garage doors rolled up, wide open.

As is always the case, but especially under such circumstances, the celebrant keeps one eye on the Chalice for uninvited communicants. The flies -- be the wine consecrated or other -- are just plain gluttons. Lacking basic table manners, much less piety, they end up diving in and usually drowning. [Remember, in a previous post, when I said that the Chalice won't hurt you? This does not pertain to flies.]

On this particular day, obviously due to the joy of the moment (in a new space and all), I failed. That is, just before lifting the Chalice to my lips I peeked in to see ... not one ... not two ... not four ... but ...

FIVE

... five comatose flies floating on the top of the consecrated wine.

I struggled, I gasped. I was aghast. Priests are taught that whatever is in the consecrated Cup must be consumed. At that particular moment, please forgive me, I quickly came up with Plan B. That is, I took the spoon and fished out the little fellas and laid them on a spare napkin. I thought, in my slight panic, that I would deal with them later, after communing the faithful.

I communed the faithful.

When I returned to the altar, the drunk swimmers were, gasp again, gone.

Now, here's where an overly scrupulous young priest's imagination can run wild:

"Okay ... I'm supposed to consume those flies ... I'm responsible ... There's a fly flying by my head now! Is that one of them? Should I eat him? How do I know he's one of the five? Good Lord. This is crazy. WWJD? Stop it! Wait. Was there really five of them? Stop it!"

Then, I spotted him ...

The Subdeacon.

He was returning to the altar (through the wide open garage door) slapping and rubbing his hands together, big grin on his 80 year old face: "Flies," he said. "I took care of them."

:0

There's no point to this little story ... Just a thank you to all who appreciate this site and voted it, once again, Funniest in the annual Eastern Christian New Media Awards contest.

But, I dunno, looking at that picture (above) and thinking it all over, especially with Country Music in mind ... Who knows what flies are thinking?

"I hear that Church a-comin' ... It's comin' 'round the bend ... and I ain't been to Communion, since, I don't know when ..."

(Thanks to Jimmy Midland, with apologies to Johnny Cash and Sammy Kershaw.)

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I'm off to the Wonderful Land of Oz for our Diocesan Parish Life Conference this week but, before I go, a plug for a previous podcast -- with a bit of an update:

I've got some CDs to give away from the group The SmallTown Heroes. You’ll hear a bit about them in this week’s episode.

Be sure to (re)listen for new details at podcast’s end on how to receive your FREE copy of their new CD, “Lo, the Hard Times”.

Enjoy!

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

More info.

Purchase & Reviews

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The St Tikhon's Mission Choir, in the presence of the Wonder-working Sitka Icon of the Mother of God, performs at St George Antiochian Orthodox Church, Houston, on June 2, 2009.

Listen H E R E.

View all the Houston podcasts here on the Houston Orthodox Clergy Association web page.



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Although I don't do text, here's a an email FWD from a parishioner at St Joseph Church, Houston, that some of you may enjoy. (All others: pls 4giv.)

What if God had text messaged the 10 Commandments? It might look like this:

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg’s
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, YHWH.

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Things won are done, joy's soul lies in the doing.
-- William Shakespeare

Once again this blog is nominated in the annual Eastern Christian New Media Blog Awards in the funniest category.

This year, I'm up against The Onion Dome (which I didn't even know was a blog! :)

For a limited time, vote here.

Over the past couple years I've directed most of the funny stuff (hopefully, that is) to the Orthodixie Podcast.

But, FWIW, Some of my favorite posts, re-posts, and teasers are listed below.

Pictures and captions from Camp St Raphael, 2008.

Camp St Raphael audio highlights (including the song "DOWAMA Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Clergy!")

The video posting of the holiest dish in the South brought lots of emails.

Then there's always marital stuff.

Here's an olympic swimming event you may have missed -- check it out!

Purty funny stuff, dat: Expect a Miracle

Orthodoxy, Christianity - Just Harder.

Jesus is My Friend

The "Virgin Mary" on a grape.

Putting the Fun in Dysfunction Since AD 33

Lots of Comments on a Serious Post.

Someone just told me that this -- The Frost is on the Pumpkin -- was one of their favorites.

Much Ado About Despota -- a teaser for a podcast about bishops.

Speaking of bishops ... A visit to the endodontist and a vision of JONAH Paffhausen.

Cat lovers (even haters) will appreciate this.

The complete 2008 Podcast Review.

Ah, yes ... Meletios Metaxikis Makes a Maalox Moment.

What's that you say, Jesus Was A Jay Dub?

Then there was that whole flap about about Orthodox "Priestesses".

The one that I'm surprised didn't -- may, still, yet -- get me fired.

It's true ... I did not sleep with that [Canaanite] woman.

Podcast script from My Cup of Joe Runneth Over.

Written interview with Dr Barsanuphius Indadark.

Have you ever had to visit the Orthodox Urgent Care Hospital?

Proof that this is not the funniest blog: This old letter about leaving the Church that brought many comments and email.

The passing of a very humorous gentleman. God don't make 'em like this no mo. Memory Eternal!

No one understood my cryptic message which came out on the heels of the February 24th statement, just prior to Lent, of the Holy Synod of Antioch. Hint, hint.

I just love this picture.

Speaking of that Antiochian stuff, here's a teaser for a podcast speaking of that Antiochian stuff.

PK Pics from Pascha plus a Pal.

This one was rejected by a few and enjoyed by many. Do. Not. Go. Here.

(Wait. I told you not to go there! For heaven's sake, don't go here either.)

Here's a teaser for a podcast that got a "face-lift" -- worth a (re)listen thanks to DJ Ron "Doh!" Smith.

Tok pravda .. tis true ... it may even be you!

God for a day (sorta, at least a few minutes) -- this one even received honorable mention on Fr David Smith's podcast, Harmony of Thunder.
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This is a prayer I found on the Net and have "orthodoxized" (for what it's worth, for personal use).

O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God,
How Divinely pure are Thy thoughts!
Thy Words only reflect wonders,
Parables worthy of searching minds.
I earnestly strive to follow after Thee.
Help me, O Lord, to respect others,
That I may never gossip against anyone.
Guide me in the righteous path of life,
Where sensational gossip does not exist.
If by Thy will, my intervention is required,
Guide me to extinguish the attacks of others,
O Thou, Who art the glorious light of truth!
For to Thee are due all glory, honor, and worship
together with Thy Father and the Holy Spirit, now
and ever and unto the ages of ages.


Amen.
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