ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.

The good folks at Ancient Faith Radio note:

"Our budgeted donation goal is $11,000 for January. If you are able to help us during this last week DAY of the month, we would be very grateful. Thank you."

At the time of this posting they still lacked $961.

Thanks for your support!

PS - This being the 30th post of the 30th day, I shall now enjoy a relief of pressure; sporadic postings promised TFN!

:)
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Recently, I had the privilege of speaking in Dallas, Texas – at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. This was a pre-Lenten retreat sponsored by the NTOM, the North Texas Orthodox Mission. They’re good folks, doing great work -- a pan-Orthodox LAY organization; look ‘em up on the web … NTOM.ORG

Between house blessings and an upcoming clergy retreat, I hope you’ll forgive me if we just take a listen to the words of a fool recently recorded in the Big D ...

[Or as the AFR plug goes: "Fr. Joseph gets lost in Houston, loses his wallet in the airport and becomes invisible at stop lights -- all from Dallas, Texas."]

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.
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State of the Groundhog ...
by Lars Walker

It probably won't surprise you much when I inform you that I passed up the opportunity to listen to my president's State of the Union address last night.

Instead I popped my DVD of Groundhog Day into the player, and watched it for the eleventy-second time. It was almost shorter than the president's speech, and definitely less repetitious, from what I've read.

And it's the right time of year.

I think Groundhog Day is my It's a Wonderful Life. As I've mentioned many times to friends, IaWL just depresses me. The only message I get from it is “George Bailey has a wonderful life, BUT YOU'RE NOT GEORGE BAILEY!”

Groundhog Day, on the other hand, presents a lesson I can agree with—“If I had the chance to do my life over about a million times, I might eventually figure something out.”

I understand the original script was written by a Buddhist, and that the filmmakers cut out some of the more explicitly Buddhist elements. I suppose, to be consistent with myself, I ought to reject the film for the merest taint of Buddhism.

But what kind of theology does It's a Wonderful Life present? Salvation by good works and self-esteem. “You may think you're a miserable sinner, George Bailey, but they think very highly of you in heaven!” Not exactly Christian law and gospel.

What I like about Groundhog Day is the non-theological material—the simple moral journey of a man who does actually come to realize that he's a sinner, and then works to become somebody whose life contributes. It's not a saving knowledge, but it's a good thing for the people who have to live with him.

To a large degree, it's about humility. I could name some prominent people who seem to think that humility is for their country, but not for them as individuals. Such people need to wake up and see their own shadows.

Totally stolen from here.


Elsewhere ...

Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kirill said crime, drugs and corruption caused last week’s massive earthquake that killed tens of thousands of people in Haiti.

Kirill, speaking during a … visit to Kazakhstan, said the Haitian people bore responsibility for the calamity because they had turned away from God, the Ferghana.ru news agency reported late Monday.

“Haiti is a country of poverty and crime, famine, drugs and corruption, where people have lost their moral face,” Kirill was quoted as saying ...

More ... here.

Many of you may have heard the catchy tune "Pants on the Ground" by General Larry Platt on a recent American Idol.

Well, here's "Neil Young" with his version:




To top it off, so to speak, here's news out of London:

Middle age, it often is said, is when your age starts to show around your middle. And for men, it seems, the moment is marked by the inexorable rise in the position of their trouser waistband.

A survey shows that the last time most men are able to fasten their trousers around anything resembling a natural waist is at the age of 39. After that, the only way is up, or down.

''Over-achievers'', as they are known in the rag trade, hoist their trousers so high by the age of 57 the waistband can be just 18 centimetres under the armpits. The ''under-achievers'', making up about 20 per cent, plump for below, fumbling to fasten belts, buttons and zips they can no longer see.

''The changing fortunes of a man's trouser waistband can often become a metaphor for his life,'' said Paul Baldwin, director of men's wear buying for the Debenhams department store, which commissioned the survey.

Boys wear their trousers around their waist, until the age of 12, because their parents buy their clothing for them, concluded the survey of 1000 males. But waistbands plunge with the advent of teenage hormones, plummeting towards the apex of the hips, and far below the underpants position by 16. Dressing for work sees a gradual upward creep between 16 and 20 years.

By 27, the waistband starts returning to the natural waist, a position largely maintained until the age of 36. The turning point is 39 and the demise of the washboard stomach. By 45, trousers will be worn at least five centimetres above the waist, rising to 12.7 centimetres by the age of 57.

Stolen from here.
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From the seminary website:

This year’s annual public Lenten retreat at St Vladimir’s Seminary will be “Southern Style” as we welcome Fr Joseph Huneycutt, author of the popular blog Orthodixie. Fr Joseph’s topic for this year’s retreat, to be held Saturday, March 20, 2010, is Paschal Fire from Spiritual Ashes.

Known for combining wit with wisdom, and satire with sobriety, Fr Joseph has authored several books reflecting his journey to and through the Orthodox Christian faith, including: We Came, We Saw, We Converted: The Lighter Side of Orthodoxy in America; Defeating Sin: Overcoming Our Passions and Changing Forever; and One Flew Over the Onion Dome: American Orthodox Converts, Retreads, and Reverts. He appears regularly on Ancient Faith Radio, and is a priest at St George Antiochian Orthodox Christian Church in Houston, Texas.

Describing his approach to spreading the gospel, Fr Joseph said, “I find English works best; it’s also good to make the message sinner-friendly and open to all. Seriously, without encouragement toward perpetual conversion in Christ the Living God, our message is the same as any other: dead.”

The public retreat begins with the celebration of the Divine Liturgy at 9 a.m. in Three Hierarchs Chapel, and will be followed by brunch at 11 a.m. Fr Joseph will present his talks from 12:30 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. in the Metropolitan Philip Auditorium of the John G. Rangos Family Building. A prayer service at 4:30 p.m. will close the retreat.

The retreat is free and open to the public. Participants planning to eat brunch after Divine Liturgy must register for the meal and pay a $10 fee at the door. Please click here for directions to the campus or call the seminary events coordinator, Tanya Penkrat, at 914-961-8313 ext. 351 for further information. And, please mark your calendars for this event!

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"As every young Texian* Christian of school age knows, Austin shall surely be the fourth Rome, and if not Austin, then Dallas or perhaps Abilene ... the patriarch of the Texans will then bear the weight of that priority among the Church, that future diocese of Sante Fe. As the capital of the Empire of Holy Texas, it will preside as first in loving care for all true believing and worshipping churches ... Once all is put in order, the Empire can be reestablished and the populace of Texas baptized in the Brazos de Dios. Then the Orthodox Mounted Posses can saddle up and ride out to the Second Rome to restore the Hagia Sophia, Christendom's great temple, carrying the Bonnie Blue Flag next to the Empire's banner of gold with the proud double-headed eagle ..."

-- Taken from the new book, At the Roots of Christian Bioethics - Critical Essays on the Thought of H. Tristram Engelhardt, Jr, p.10 [quote first appearing in The Foundations of Christian Bioethics (2000)]

* - TEXIAN. The term Texian is generally used to apply to a citizen of the Anglo-American section of the province of Coahuila and Texas or of the Republic of Texas. Texian was used in 1835 as part of the title of the Nacogdoches Texian and Emigrant's Guide. As president of the Republic, Mirabeau B. Lamar used the term to foster nationalism. Early colonists and leaders of the Texas Revolution, many of whom were influential during the Civil War and who were respected as elder statesmen well into the 1880s, used Texian in English and Texienne in French. However, in general usage after annexation, Texan replaced Texian. The Texas Almanac still used the term Texian as late as 1868 [Fletcher, 2009; note, p.18]

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Fr. bless,

Well, I finally finished the book. Thank you for this gift. Now for my end of the bargain...

I was most disappointed with it. I have listened to most all of your podcasts on AFR. I can't even in my head reproduce the sound of your voice in these stories. I certainly can't sing any of the songs. Here I was sitting and reading the stories I have played over on AFR knowing how they read and trying to input your inflections into my head and your drawl into the words, not to mention the nuances of speech I hear on the podcasts.

The stories were just not the same. Yes, I love the humor and the message behind them, that will never be out of style, but there was just something missing the entire time I was reading; YOU. Your voice I listen to was clouded over by my need to "hear" you in my head as I was reading.

I loved the book Fr. Joseph. I love your podcasts. I can't wait until your next one comes out. They all hit me square between the eyes. This is what I call the mark of a good book.

-- XXX

Thanks, XXX ... I'm confused, though ... did you like the book or not? (It's a rhetorical question, I think.)

Yes Fr. I loved the book. I was lamenting your voice was not in my head. MY "head voice" was just not living up to your podcasts. ;) thanks again.
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"A New York City woman on trial for starving four of her children was brought up in a 'cult-like' religion that prohibited its members from direct contact with the outside world, her brother testified yesterday.

'It was an almost cult-like existence. We weren’t allowed to watch TV, go to the movies, or vote,' said Frederick Phillips, 45, of Manhattan, describing the lifestyles of members of the Brooklyn-based Church of the Brethren, an Orthodox Christian church that believed in a strict interpretation of the Bible."

Uh, more here.
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Just in case you missed this episode last month, but mainly because I got home late, having promised 30 posts in 30 days, here's a repeat (otherwise known as a "favre") ...

Back in the 7th grade I played on my first school football team. I knew absolutely nothing about the game, but being a “big ol’ boy” (as they say in the South) I think my parents didn’t want me getting much bigger. They believed football would get me into good shape and I was certainly hoping that my mom would no longer have to order my pants from the “husky” section of the Sears Christmas catalogue.

I mean, whoever thought up that phrase for boy’s pants – HUSKY? Now there’s a real confidence booster!

Anyway …

Other than being HUSKY, I brought nothing to the game; I wasn’t agile, I knew no rules ... I was a walking paper weight.

But, there I was on the field, listening to our coach, who was 3.5 years older than Methuselah (about a million in dog years). His name was Mr Jeff – and he was telling us about THE ONSIDE KICK.

I’d never heard of such a thing.

Apparently, when the opposing team kicks off to you – if you don’t catch the ball, they will! And, with the onside kick, the ball may actually come to a walking paper weight ...

... in other words, a HUSKY dumb lineman

… that would be, can you hear me? ME!

Honest to goodness, the other guys lined up on the ball and kicked what was supposed to be an onside kick …

Alas, I’m getting ahead of myself.

MR JEFF: THE BALL … MAY COME TO YOU … ONE OF YOU LINEMEN … DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RUN WITH THE BALL! FALL ON IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Us: Yes sir!

MR JEFF: SO … AGAIN … WHAT DO YOU LINEMEN (that’s what he called us husky paper weights) – WHAT DO YOU LINEMEN DO IF THE BALL COMES TO YOU??

Us: Fall on it!

MR JEFF: FALL ON IT – HOLD ON TIGHT … AND DO NOT TRY TO RUN WITH THE BALL! DO. NOT. MOVE!

Well, wouldn’tchya know, that ball came to me.

It’s one of those memories that’s burned into my mind: a husky 12 year old boy, without a clue, staring as that ball was kicked … a line drive (perfectly) right to me!

The Good News? I caught it.

Now, for the rest of the story …


The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.
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Except for the curious inclusion of Ss Anna & (Infant) Mary -- at :44 -- this is fascinating to watch:



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"Ain’t Skeered!" is a Southern takeoff on the once popular "No Fear" emblems paraded on sweatshirts and automobiles. Yet, when it comes to certain words, I am afraid. We live in an age when using the wrong word could mean the end of one’s good reputation, career, or, at least, God-pleasing relations with others. It’s sort of like the ol’ joke: "What’s the last words out of a redneck’s mouth?" – "Hey y’all, watch-isss!" Our words often precede our demise. For instance, using a certain "A" word might be lethal. So, instead, I’ll stick with some safe "A" words while talking about the "N" word: Noitroba.

When the Archangel Gabriel appeared to a young virgin in Nazareth, she was sore afraid. She was scared. Yet, even though he had some truly frightening news for her, she found comfort in these words "Do not be afraid." Then he told her she was with child. Do not be afraid. Then he told her that the father of her child was none other than God. Do not be afraid. The son she was to bear would be king forever. Do not be afraid. And when she was bewildered as to how all of this -- including the news that her aged and barren cousin Elizabeth was with child -- could happen, the Archangel said these words "For with God nothing will be impossible." [Luke 1:37] But, the world continually speaks backwards to us "Be afraid! Be very afraid!" Wanting a quick fix for everything the worldly mantra rings out "No pain! No struggle! No accountability!"

Fidelity to God is the first requirement of the people of God. If we are God’s people, we are marked first and foremost by our allegiance to Him. It’s not simple. If it were, God would not have had to command such allegiance: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" [Exodus 20:3]. Of the Ten Commandments, this is the first. Then, a few rules down, there is another commandment "Thou shalt not kill." We lose a bit in the translation from Hebrew to English. These words actually mean "Thou shalt do no murder on the innocent." Humanly speaking, there is nothing -- nothing -- more innocent than the babe in the womb. All life belongs to God and those whose individual actions lead to the destruction of innocent life place themselves before God. This transgresses the first commandment, not to mention the sixth! It’s another version of the Serpent’s words to Adam and Eve "Eat this fruit and ye shall be like gods." Heeding this backwards advice has continually led mankind into every sort of abomination.

Ever since the Fall of Adam and Eve, mankind has been held captive to the ways of the world and the lie of the Serpent. Yet God, in His mercy, sent the Law and the Prophets as an aid. In the fullness of time, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, (born of a woman), as the Savior. If you are a Christian, you’re probably saying "Well, yeah. I know this and this I believe." Good. Then, I must ask you: Why do some Christians follow the backward ways of the world and utter such words as, "I’m Pro-Choice"? There is no choice in Pro-Choice. There is only the murdering of innocent life which, for the people of God, should never be seen as a good choice. It is backwards thinking. It is an abomination. Christians must first look to the Lord and His ways in order to act according to His commandments. We must also take care in what we say.

We don’t come by these things naturally. For example, loving and honoring one’s parents is difficult. It does not come naturally. God commands us to do it: "Honor your father and your mother" [Exodus 20:12a]. But, even though many people grow up with strained parental relationships, I’ve never heard anyone say, "I’m Pro-Choice" when it comes to whether one should struggle to love their Mom or not. Even though we may fall and utter words which we shouldn’t, I’ve never heard anyone say, "I’m Pro-Choice" when it comes to taking the Lord’s name in vain. And although adultery is as old as the hills, how many Christians ever say "I’m Pro-Choice" when it comes to sleeping around? "I’m Pro-Choice" when it comes to pornography?

Words mean things. We should choose them carefully. As stated earlier, we live in an age when using the wrong word could mean the end of our God-pleasing relations with others. In our Christian witness, we should struggle to never lead someone astray. The backwards thinking that noitroba is merely a political issue is wrong. It is a moral issue that, unfortunately, has been politicized. The backwards thinking that noitroba is a woman’s right is wrong. It is a painful, life-scarring sin. Just ask most any woman, or man, who has borne the wrongs of this "right". The backwards thinking that being "Pro-Choice" is anything other than being Pro-Sin, murder of innocent life, is a fallacy. The backwards thinking that noitroba is ever a God-pleasing alternative to life is just plain demonic.

We must struggle to love one another and, when necessary, to reprove others in Christian love. We can begin by using the words allegiance and accountability the next time the abominable topic of the "A" word comes up. Aside from being backwards thinking, noitroba ain’t even good spelling. We should be able to spell it like it is. But I was afraid that if I did, some of you might not read this article.

Christians should not be afraid to speak the truth in love. Actually, where God is concerned, truth and love are synonymous. Many people in our communities, male and female, have been scarred by bad decisions and backwards thinking. Being judged and condemned by their fellow Christians resembles the ol’ joke about the fiery preacher’s message: "I’ve got the good news! And the good news is ... you’re going to hell!" Rather, our message must be tainted with another "A" word, agape. Our Pro-Life witness should include all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We’re all scarred by sin. When one suffers, we all suffer. We’re all scarred by the sin of noitroba. But backwards thinking – past, present, and future – is a dead end. Who knows? With love and God’s grace, our witness may be able to move someone away from backwards thinking toward Life. Don’t be afraid to proclaim the Good News that was once announced to a virgin in Nazareth.

Do not be afraid.

For with God nothing will be impossible.

This piece is excerpted from one that ran in a Mission newsletter back in the mid-90s. Top pic: one of the Marches for Life that we attended (me in the lower right corner); bottom pic: me and my oldest when we were both younger.
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WASHINGTON, DC [OCA] -- Orthodox Christians from across the country will gather here on Friday, January 22, 2010, for the annual March for Life.

His Beatitude, Metropolitan Jonah, will lead hundreds of Orthodox Christians in proclaiming life as a precious gift from God.

Services and events surrounding the March include the following.

* On Thursday, January 21, the eve of the March, the faithful are invited to join Metropolitan Jonah and other members of the Holy Synod of Bishops for Vespers at Saint Nicholas Cathedral, 3500 Massachusetts Ave. NW, at 7:00 p.m. A reception and fellowship will follow in the cathedral hall.

* On Friday morning, January 22, Metropolitan Jonah and members of the Holy Synod will concelebrate the Divine Liturgy at the cathedral at 8:00 a.m. Students from Saint Vladimir's Seminary, Crestwood, NY and Saint Tikhon's Seminary, South Canaan, PA, will form a combined choir to render the liturgical responses.

* At noon on Friday, marchers are asked to gather under the "Orthodox Christians for Life" banner on the Mall at 7th Street near the Smithsonian Castle. Metropolitan Jonah will be the first of several speakers to address the public at the pre-March program. At the conclusion of the March, he will offer prayers for the victims of abortion.

* On Friday evening, Metropolitan Jonah will offer the invocation at the annual Rose Dinner at DC's Hyatt Regency Hotel.

More on the annual March for Life - here.

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I'm in bed, writing in my nightly journal (first house blessing - 8am, final one - 7pm), and I suddenly exclaim: "Oops! I pledged 30 posts in 30 days; I forgot to update the blog."

My wife says, "Well, you better get out there and do it ... tell them I said 'you've got to go to bed!'"

Heh!

I'm not sure that kind of chatty-diary-stuff counts as blogging. I mean, who cares? So, FWIW -- and before the midnight pumpkin -- here's a couple e-notes, gratefully received, concerning the new book We Came, We Saw, We Converted:

"Just wanted to let you know that I don't appreciate getting your book this week. I just finished XXX, which was 1,000 pages, and required me to basically ignore everything household related for a couple weeks, so I could finish it. I vowed to not start any more books until February, but what can I do? I already succumbed. No, have not finished it, but it is funny. -- NN

* * *

"The new book is fabulous! Thank you Fr. for writing this most entertaining, spiritual book. I absolutely love it." -- NN

(Goodnight.)


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When I was pastor of a small Mission, one of our members thought it would be a neat idea for the local TV station to come out and cover one of our house blessings.

And … the TV station agreed.

Being TV and all – great publicity for our growing Mission – it was decided that members of the choir and others of the community would join in this joyous event, singing the Theophany hymn ...

You know, the one that goes like this ... ***

Well, not exactly; more like this: ***

If you’re familiar with the House Blessing ritual, you know that there are prayers of Exorcism.

In fact, when not occupied with chanting, as the priest sprinkles the rooms of the house, he may say: “By the sprinkling of this Holy Water, may every evil action and demon be put to flight …”

Well … We did it. I was vested in riassa, epitrachelion, and phelonian (in other words: long black robe, decorative stole and sort of a liturgical cape); I’m saying the words: “By the sprinkling of this Holy Water, may every evil action and demon be put to flight …” and the choir and parishioners are chanting the Theophany hymn.

The TV camera man caught it all. He said that they would tease the story on the evening news and probably have it ready for broadcast during the 11:00 Nightly News.

We didn’t have cable TV ... but various emails alerted me that, indeed, the TV station had plugged the upcoming House Blessing story at 6:00 and in the news teasers scattered throughout the evening shows.

Shortly before eleven o’clock that evening, there I was adjusting our rabbit ears in hopes of catching the story when, through the old-timey fuzzy snow picture, I caught the teaser just before the NEWS …

“Coming up at eleven, a local couple has an exorcism in hopes of having a happy home again.”

*** Tune in for more ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.
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Just the other day,
on my way to work,
amid the wet and damp of Houston winter
Must have had my window cracked --
enough, that is, to hear ...

I thank God for them.
By the 20s, the 50s,
hundreds or more,
they sit on the power lines and

sing


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To A Bird At Dawn

O bird that somewhere yonder sings,
In the dim hour 'twixt dreams and dawn,
Lone in the hush of sleeping things,
In some sky sanctuary withdrawn;
Your perfect song is too like pain,
And will not let me sleep again.

I think you must be more than bird,
A little creature of soft wings,
Not yours this deep and thrilling word --
Some morning planet 'tis that sings;
Surely from no small feathered throat
Wells that august, eternal note.

As some old language of the dead,
In one resounding syllable,
Says Rome and Greece and all is said --
A simple word a child may spell;
So in your liquid note impearled
Sings the long epic of the world.

Unfathomed sweetness of your song,
With ancient anguish at its core,
What womb of elemental wrong,
With shudder unimagined, bore
Peace so divine -- what hell hath trod
This voice that softly talks with God!

All silence in one silver flower
Of speech that speaks not, save as speaks
The moon in heaven, yet hath power
To tell the soul the thing it seeks,
And pack, as by some wizard's art,
The whole within the finite part.

To you, sweet bird, one well might feign --
With such authority you sing
So clear, yet so profound, a strain
Into the simple ear of spring --
Some secret understanding given
Of the hid purposes of Heaven.

And all my life until this day,
And all my life until I die,
All joy and sorrow of the way,
Seem calling yonder in the sky;
And there is something the song saith
That makes me afraid of death.

Now the slow light fills all the trees,
The world, before so still and strange,
With day's familiar presences,
Back to its common self must change,
And little gossip shapes of song
The porches of the morning throng.

Not yours with such as these to vie
That of the day's small business sing,
Voice of man's heart and of God's sky --
But O you make so deep a thing
Of joy, I dare not think of pain
Until I hear you sing again.


-- Richard Le Gallienne

The poem, taken from Great Poems of the English Language (New York: Tudor, 1927), reposted from 12/05.
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That saying? - A time is coming when people will go mad and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, “You are mad, you are not like us” – is attributed to St Anthony the Great.

And that was 1,500 years ago!

St Anthony pray to God for us!

One day after a teaching on Jesus saying to the people, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come, follow Me" (Matthew 19:21), St. Anthony sold everything he owned, gave the proceeds to the poor, and left the city behind to live in the desert.

To the world, of course, this seems but madness. St Athanasius the Great, who wrote the bio, if you will, of St Anthony recounts that:

The devil … observed Anthony and gnashed his teeth against him. But Anthony was consoled by the Saviour and continued unhurt by his wiles and varied devices. As he was watching in the night the devil sent wild beasts against him. And almost all the hyenas in that desert came forth from their dens and surrounded him; and he was in the midst, while each one threatened to bite. Seeing that it was a trick of the enemy he said to them all: "If ye have received power against me I am ready to be devoured by you; but if ye were sent against me by demons, stay not, but depart, for I am a servant of Christ." When Anthony said this they fled, driven by that word as with a whip.

Today, January 17th, is the Feast of St Anthony the Great:

Thou didst become like the zealous Elijah in his condition, and followed John the Baptist in his upright ways, becoming a dweller in the wilderness and an establisher of the universe by thy prayer, O Father Anthony. Wherefore, intercede thou with Christ God to save our souls.

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More info on St Anthony in the podcast St Anthony and the Flying Spaghetti Madness from September '09.
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Those of English heritage, bewildered by the state of the world today (in relation to religion), would do well to remember a part of our own history ...

On this day [January 16th] 429 years ago, the English Parliament outlawed Roman Catholicism. This 1581 statute stated that it was an "act to retain the Queen's Majesty's subjects in their obedience" and made it high treason to "reconcile anyone or to be reconciled to 'the Romish religion.'" It forbade people to go to Mass; persons breaking the law were subject to fines as well as a year in jail. An English man or woman could avoid these troubles by renouncing the Pope and joining the Anglican Church. Most of the English martyrs in the Catholic Church come from the time of Elizabeth's reign.

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"The most important legacy of Elizabeth I was to make the Anglican Catholic Church forever free from the control of Rome. When she died in 1603 her cousin King James VI of Scotland became James I, King of England. Yes, he is the one whose name may be on your English Bible, The King James Version."

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Enjoy the quote above, but the author's search is limited. He is, no doubt, influenced by the act of January 16, 1581. Though we Christians play nice these days, I suspect that the events of 1581 still form much of the "God-thought" of the Protestant masses.

A Wiki list of Catholic Martyrs of the English Reformation.

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The following quotes are from Elder Paisius the Athonite ...

We should neither create problems in the Church nor magnify the minor human disorders that occur, so as not to create greater evil and the wicked one rejoice.

He who is irritated about a minor disorder and abruptly rushes to ostensibly correct it ... resembles the light-headed sacristan who sees a candle dripping and abruptly dashes to fix it, stumbling over people and candlesticks, and thus creating an even greater disorder during the Divine Service.

It is well known to discerning spiritual Fathers that this demonic practice (namely, deriding the clergy and the Church) has turned many people into Jehovah's witnesses. It is also known to the whole world that not even one Jehovah's witness has become Orthodox in this un-orthodox way.

Taken from The Epistles - Elder Paisios

After stealing the pic from this site, I found its accompanying text:

I know from experience that in this life people are divided in two categories. A third category does not exist; people either belong to one or the other. The first one resembles the fly. The main characteristic of the fly is that it is attracted by dirt. For example, when a fly is found in a garden full of flowers with beautiful fragrances, it will ignore them and will go sit on top of some dirt found on the ground. It will start messing around with it and feel comfortable with the bad smell. If the fly could talk, and you asked it to show you a rose in the garden, it would answer: “I don’t even know what a rose looks like. I only know where to find garbage, toilets and dirt.” There are some people who resemble the fly. People belonging to this category have learned to think negatively and always look for the bad things in life, ignoring and refusing the presence of good.

The other category is like the bee whose main characteristic is to always look for something sweet and nice to sit on. When a bee is found in a room full of dirt and there is a small piece of sweet in a corner, it will ignore the dirt and will go to sit on top of the sweet. Now, if we ask the bee to show us where the garbage is, it will answer: “I don’t know. I can only tell you where to find flowers, sweets, honey and sugar; it only knows the good things in life and is ignorant of all evil.” This is the second category of people who have a positive thinking and see only the good side of things. They always try to cover up the evil in order to protect their fellow men; on the contrary, people in the first category try to expose the evil and bring it to the surface. When someone comes to me and starts accusing other people and puts me in a difficult situation, I tell him the above example. Then, I ask him to decide to which category he wishes to belong, so he may find people of the same kind to socialize with.

Then ... I went to the site linked from the above linked site and found:

Elder Paisios was constantly stressing the importance of pious thinking in spiritual life. He used to say that a single positive thought equals a vigil in Mount Athos. Once, he told us the following incident:

“One day someone came to see me, but as I was busy I told him to wait in the chapel. Later on, when he left the chapel to come into my guestroom, I did not notice that he had forgotten to take his cigarettes and had left them on the chapel’s seat. Meanwhile, another guest arrived; he also went into the chapel to wait, until I was free to see him. When I called him in, he asked me:

Elder, do you smoke?

No, I said. Why are you asking?

I saw a pack of cigarettes in the chapel, that’s why.

The person who was there before you must have forgotten them, but I did not notice it.
After he left, a child came to visit me for the first time. He knocked on the door and I immediately asked him what he wanted:

I wish to see Elder Paisios. Is he here?

I’m afraid he is not, I replied. He went to Karyes to buy cigarettes.

The child answered innocently:

It does not matter, Father. I will wait for him to come back.

You see the difference between the two ways of thinking, said the Elder. The first person, who found the cigarettes in the chapel, had negative and suspicious thoughts, whereas the child, even when I told him that Elder Paisios went to buy cigarettes, reacted in the opposite way. He simply said he would wait without asking if the Elder smokes or what he needs the cigarettes for.

Glory to God for all things!
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Uhm ... just got home, 9:30 PM, from home blessings. My first home blessing was at 7:40 AM; the last blessing of the day was at 7:40 PM, followed by a big dinner. All told, I think my "home blessing tour guide" and I logged 24 houses today -- and I visited one home before hooking up with her.

It's beginning to look like it's easier to bless 25 homes in a day than it is to post 30 blog posts in 30 days.

Forgive me.

Incidentally, the pic (DJs & Batman) has nothing to do with this post -- but I've been saving it for a while and tonight was as good as any.

Pictured left to right: Dick Biondi, Bob Eubanks, Casey Kasem, Dick Moreland (on shoulder), Dave Hull.

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What a difference 3 years makes! When I originally posted this piece (back in 2007) Michael Jackson was alive, Paula Abdul was a judge on American Idol (and Simon wasn't leaving), Barry Bonds was relevant ... and Barack Obama was a relatively unknown brown man with peculiar ears running for President. Anyway, I've corrected some of the broken links and left the outdated, but active, ones in.


Imagine my surprise when, upon the opening of the door, I realized I was at the home of the notorious Simon Cowell. (You know, the brutally-honest-bad-boy of American Idol fame?) Anyway, he said: "Come on in ..."

I'm pretty sure it was a dream, but --

... and as soon as I started crossing the threshold, he critiqued the way I walked, the look of my shoes, and even asked if, being from North Carolina, I was inbred.

"No sir," I replied, "but I am a little flat footed and, thanks to a bit of scoliosis ..."

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!" he interjected. "You are not auditioning! You're here, I presume, to bless my abode: Show me what you got."

"Okay, where should we start?" I asked. "On the kitchen table?"

Simon: "That would be fine."

Lo and behold, Randy Jackson was in there eating a big ol' turkey with both hands.

"Goodness, Randy!" Simon said. "Would you like a shovel?"

Randy saw me and said something like: "Wab bub dug?" (Which translates, of course -- minus the bird -- to "How are YOU doing?")

I nodded, sat my priest's "doc kit" down on the table, and began setting things up for the house blessing. Simon, in a fit of rage, with one swift motion of his $480 t-shirt clad arm, swept all the food off the table and sat beside Randy. I couldn't help but think that all they needed was Paula Abdul and ... as all dreams invariably do ... there she was! (Oops! I mean, HERE she is.) She was already crying. She said house blessings always got to her. Anyway ...

Mr Potato Head George Bush -- whoops! (dream, remember?) -- George Bush walked in and sat down at the table with them. I surmised he was the guest judge. That's when it really got weird ... I guess I thought of Hillary Clinton when in walked none other than Mr Potato Head Barack Obama ...

" ... I guarantee ... you try my vacuum cleaner for 14 days ..."

"Hhaaaaaaaaaaaaa, gha!"

"Scuze me," said Randy, "had sump'm stuck in my th'oat."

"What are you going to do for us today?" asked Simon.

"Well," I said, "the House Blessing begins with the Trisagion, ending with the Our Father."

"Mister, can you spare a pence?"

Whhaaa?

Simon: "Debtors."

FrJ: "Oh ... well ... I was going to use 'trespasses' ...

Simon: "Very well then: Trespassers!"

"Was the Earth really created in only six days?"

Sue-Sue-Sue de ooo! SUE SUE SUE DEE OHH, OHOOOO!

FrJ: "What the ...?"

Simon: "Phil Collins .... You know, Genesis."

Any way, dear and patient reader, we finally got around to blessing the house. It was a pretty big spread and I could have done without Paula's imitation of Barbara Eden. (Whoops! Here ya go.) Randy had to take a few breaks, stopping at the Starbucks and McDonald's -- which were, bizarre enough, all found in Simon's bathroom.

Yet, it was during the singing of "God grant you many years" that things got really weird.

Simon interrupted me, saying: "You hit me with water. I think that rather rude and totally uncalled for."

Paula started crying cuz her make-up was now running ...

And Randy (you know how dreams are) had morphed into a familiar version of another Jackson.

Okay, so maybe 5 pieces of cheesecake, 7 cups of coffee, in addition to three full meals and bits of baklava, chocolates, etc, throughout the day plays havoc on the noggin? Maybe it's just Pop Culture in general -- or the fact that I [was] reading James Joyce at [that] moment ...

House Blessings. 8 or so down; 70 more to go. Goodnight.
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Most mornings I get up at 4:20 AM. By 4:30, I'm doing Morning Pages (3 pages, college-ruled, long hand). Why so early? Because the Missus and I walk from 5-6 AM; from that point on, the day's a roller coaster. The last thing done each evening, before either a crossword puzzle or leisure reading, is writing in a journal. The latter I've done throughout my life -- but since 1992 without missing a night. The former, Morning Pages, even the walking, is fruit born from reading Julia Cameron's works. (Yes, I know there's some New Agey stuff in her works -- but, hey, I wasn't born yesterday; been there was that.)

It's funny how someone, or someone's work, can change your life.

I subscribe to two Internet email services: 1) The Writer's Almanac; 2) Robert Genn's Twice Weekly Letters. I recommend both.

Today, I received a belated Christmas present from the Missus: The Letters by Robert Genn -- a big book containing all the twice-weekly letters over the past 10 years. That will, I suppose, be my nightly reading for a while.

Before publication, Mr Genn solicited guest Forwards for the project. My submission did not make publication. But, FWIW, here it is:

Else they fruitlessly struggle against the current, every artist eventually understands: the muse only works when you’re working. Waiting for inspiration, like a slow day fishing, can equal just plain waiting. Robert Genn’s The Twice-Weekly Letters are a total waste of time. That is, when you’re not working. And who’s not working these days? I mean, thanks to the immediate media of the omnipresent Internet, we can surf and work at the same time, right? Wrong. Ask any real surfer and you’ll find that, when the waves aren’t there, you can be merely all wet.

When you are working, The Twice-Weekly Letters are a total wave of time. Not that the confines of time are abrogated, rather they make for the creative exercise of muse surfing. That’s the sensation I get whilst reading these wonderful gems of inspiration. Sometimes I’m on the shore, witnessing the fast swerve and swagger of the surfer, when stationary admiration is enough to wash me elsewhere, to that fruitful place. Other times, I am gliding on the board, fast and furious, when even a cursory scan of The Twice-Weekly Letters is enough to slow me toward a rendezvous with the patiently waiting shoreline muse.

Then there are those times when, hater that I am, I get jealous reading of Mr Genn’s fabulous travels. But, no fault be his, he didn’t steal my muse, for she is oft times stirred even amid envy. (Incidentally, Mr Genn seldom refrains from mentioning water: the sea, the lake, the tear, the fog, or the steady drizzle rain.)

There’s another truism that artists come to know: The art is in the craft, the craft is in the art. For writers this is watered down to: “A writer writes.” You write when you don’t want to write. You write when you should be doing something else. You write when you could be spending time with loved ones. A writer writes because he has to! But muse-less creativity may often be only an addiction in drag; it, too, can leave one fruitless and all wet.

Saint Augustine, obviously working toward a specific end, wrote words nonetheless applicable to all who struggle toward the bountiful waters of beauty: “So then, my brothers, let us sing now, not in order to enjoy a life of leisure, but in order to lighten our labors. You should sing as wayfarers do sing, but continue your journey. Do not be lazy, but sing to make your journey more enjoyable. Sing, but keep going. What do I mean by keep going? Keep on making progress. This progress must be in virtue; for there are some … whose only progress is in vice. If you make progress, you will be continuing your journey, but be sure that your progress is in virtue, true faith, and right living. Sing then – but keep going.”

The Twice-Weekly Letters are like songs to the soul, waves for the ears, and music to the muse. Though they’ve appeared like clockwork, I’m always pleasantly surprised when that grand swell toward shore comes in twice weekly. Now that they’re all presented here together, in this wonderful reservoir, come with me my love: Let us sing – “Surf’s up!” – and keep going.

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by Tom Breen

Orthodox Christianity has a tradition of saints who are known as fools-for-Christ, people who have attacked the sin of pride by behaving in ways that seem, to the casual observer, insane. To date, there is no tradition in Orthodoxy of wiseguys-for-Christ, which is a shame: that would be handy category for Fr. Joseph Huneycutt.

A Houston-based priest, blogger, and podcaster, Fr. Joseph's book We Came, We Saw, We Converted is more or less the perfect template of a "holy wiseguy": filled with wry asides, surreal dream sequences and silly song parodies, it wears the guise of humor but in reality contains a payload of genuine, moving Christian spirituality.

That description probably makes the book seem like a well-intentioned but limp attempt at "Christian humor," but make no mistake: Fr. Joseph is a seriously funny guy. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments in this book, ranging from a parishioner's distress at an observant family's wild children ("They are very, very faithful - attending every service - much to the disappointment of most of the congregation") to a recounting of a visit the youthful Huneycutt made to a Pentecostal church in North Carolina.

The latter episode qualifies as some of the funniest writing about American religion in years, from the moment "Uncle Ernie" gets the Spirit and begins running laps around the building to the unbelievable climax of the episode. I won't spoil the surprise, but the "special guest" Huneycutt feared was a snake in a box turns out to be something so bizarre it could have sprung from the collective brain of the Monty Python gang.

The book laces together personal memories, stories from the life of a priest, and fictional episodes to form a set of tales about what it's like to be an Orthodox convert in a country where "Orthodox" is usually understood to mean "Jewish men with old-fashioned hats" and where a hearty "Christos Anesthi" is more likely to be met with "gesundheit" than "Alithos Anesthi."

Fr. Joseph, raised a Baptist in North Carolina, has both the All-American background (he even played high school football) and the priestly credibility to tell this story. Unmistakably an Orthodox book (there's a whole section on fasting), it's also a breeze for people who don't know their orthopraxia from their orthodontist.

Because he's a good storyteller and a perceptive observer, the book is not a triumphalist trashing of other faiths (although Uncle Ernie might want to have a quiet word), and is clear-eyed about some of the challenges Orthodoxy faces in the U.S.

The book tackles the uneasy co-existence between the Orthodox from recent immigrant communities and the "white boy" Orthodox converts who often display their new faith in ostentatious ways. He's also particularly hilarious when interviewing a fictional antagonist named Fr. Danislav, who extolls the blessed quiet of an empty church and offers helpful tips on how to drive less-than-perfect believers away.

"He loved crossing his legs more than he loved obedience," Fr. Danislav gravely concludes of one irreverently comfortable malefactor.

Underneath the belly laughs, though, Fr. Joseph explains Orthodoxy in clear, concise manner: prayer, fasting, devotion to the saints, participation in the life of the church, and above all, following Christ.

"Please, Greeks, listen up," he writes. "Culture will not save you. Arabs: Food will not save you. Russians: Vodka will not save you." Pretty funny, right? It is, until he gets to the heart of the matter: "Only love saves."

It's enough to make you remember that first part of "wiseguy" is "wise."
____________

Tom Breen is author of The Messiah Formerly Known as Jesus

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Holy Trinity Greek
Orthodox Church
13555 Hillcrest Road,
Dallas TX, 75240

Schedule:
8:00-8:45 am — Registration
8:45-9:30 am — Morning prayers
9:30-10:00 am — Coffee
10:00-11:30 am — Keynote address
11:30-12:00 — Book signing/break
12:00-1:00pm — Lunch
After lunch Floyd Frantz (see his example newsletters here and here) will speak about his work in Romania through OCMC
1:00-2:00pm — Break out sessions
2:00-3:00 pm — Summaries followed by questions/answers

Vespers follow.

Flyer & Registration

Download the Pre-Lenten Retreat Flyer for more information.

Those attending may bring canned goods for North Dallas Shared Ministry.

In the Dallas area? Join us!

Register online now.

Check out North Texas Orthodox Missions!
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It’s that time again when I need to dig into the Orthodixie Mailbag.

This letter, a bit on the creative side, comes from Sonny in Toledo. He raises some serious concerns and issues – and, frankly, I don’t have all the answers.

[Feel free to comment on the blog.]


Dear Fr Joseph,

I hope you will permit a bit of creativity on my part, but I’m new to Orthodoxy and am really, really thirsty – “water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink” as they say …

Let me explain: I went out to a bar with Jesus. Like me, Jesus is a convert and has been a great help in my journey.

Anyway, I was out drinking with him one night when I saw a bottle on the shelf that looked to my liking. I could barely make out the label on the bottle, but was intrigued by it.

I said, “I’ll have a shot of that please.”

Jesus said, “No.”

I stared at the odd label on the bottle: a ladder with some climbers, our Lord, and some demons.

I looked back at Jesus and the queer look on my face elicited this response:

“That,” he said, “is an old bottle from nearly 1400 years ago. It’s too strong for you.”

“Whaddya mean?!” I said -- “Look, how long have you known me? You know I can hold my Spirits!”

“It’s not that,” Jesus said, “It’s just that … well, you know … you might need to stick with more of the Starter Stuff.”

“Oh come on!” I was incredulous. “I’ve been drinking Gillquist, Hopko, Ware, FM-G, a little bit o’ Carlton, a dab of Vlachos ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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Realizing I pledged 30 blog updates in 30 days, here's some stories that caught my eye and some other things, timely, that you may have missed.

[Slipping this in under the podcast teaser -- thus the date is incorrect.]

I think of this guy -- James W. Lewis -- every time I try to open one of those pesky omnipresent safety caps!

Seeing as how we may all be "Undressing [because of] the Terror Threat" soon, this editorial by Paul Campos in the Wall Street Journal helps make the hard to comprehend a wee bit simpler; here's an exerpt:

"I'm not much of a basketball player. Middle-age, with a shaky set shot and a bad knee, I can't hold my own in a YMCA pickup game, let alone against more organized competition. But I could definitely beat LeBron James in a game of one-on-one. The game just needs to feature two special rules: It lasts until I score, and when I score, I win.

We might have to play for a few days, and Mr. James's point total could well be creeping toward five figures before the contest ended, but eventually the gritty gutty competitor with a lunch-bucket work ethic (me) would subject the world's greatest basketball player to a humiliating defeat.

The world's greatest nation seems bent on subjecting itself to a similarly humiliating defeat, by playing a game that could be called Terrorball. The first two rules of Terrorball are:

(1) The game lasts as long as there are terrorists who want to harm Americans; and

(2) If terrorists should manage to kill or injure or seriously frighten any of us, they win.

These rules help explain the otherwise inexplicable wave of hysteria that has swept over our government in the wake of the failed attempt by a rather pathetic aspiring terrorist to blow up a plane on Christmas Day ..."

More - here

And, before someone points out that I always seem to notify others when there's something like THIS going on in the Roman Catholic communion ... well, gotta be fair -- here it is.

Image Source -- Where it is noted: "Why is it that any child can open the childproof protective caps on the prescription bottles but it takes me twenty minutes, a pair of scissors and a box cutter to break open a new CD?"

You heard it was Christmas in Russia just the other day (January 7th)? Here's why.

Finally, in honor of Elvis's 75th birthday (January 8th), you do know Elvis is a Saint, right?
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Someone sent this into the ComBox. Forgive me -- but, too cute not to share:


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The following has absolutely nothing to do with Orthodoxy. You have been warned ...

This news story out of London (boy, ain't the whole world gone crazy?) concerns the "health deficiencies" of the model for Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. It needed a few more examples and, though I'm no expert, I have happily provided ...


LONDON (Jan. 6) -- When most people gaze on the Mona Lisa, they see a great beauty with a beguiling smile. Not Vito Franco, professor of pathological anatomy at the University of Palermo. He sees a woman with a dangerously unhealthy diet.

According to Franco, Leonardo Da Vinci's most famous subject suffered from worryingly high levels of cholesterol. He made that diagnosis after spotting signs of xanthelasma -- a build up of yellowish fatty acids under the skin -- under Mona's left eye, as well as subcutaneous lipomas, benign tumors composed of fatty tissue, on her hands.

Here's the whole story.

The article goes on to state: "This new field of research, which Franco calls "icono-diagnostics," has some obvious limitations ..."

Here's a few icono-diagnoses of my own:



Dehydration. A body needs water and, sometimes, the long hours of sitting for a painting by the Master can leave one parched.

Make sure to hydrate often!



Thyroid-Associated Ophthalmopathy -- otherwise known as Graves' Eye Disease (not to be confused with Billi jo-elleye).

If you think you have Graves' Disease, please see a doctor.

Wait, here's one now ...




Mononucleosis -- or Kissing Disease. The virus that causes mono has a long incubation period: 30 to 50 days from the time you're exposed to it to the time you get sick. If, of course, you "rock and roll all night and party every day" you may lose track of ...

Wait.

What was I saying?




Oh well ... never mind.


Funny images
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During the days following the Feast of the Theophany (January 6th), it is customary for the Priest to visit the homes of his parishioners, bringing with him the “Jordan Water” for the traditional Theophany House Blessing. The First Great Sanctification of Water is performed at the end of the Divine Liturgy on the Paramon of Theophany (January 5th). While that water may be given to the faithful to drink on that day and throughout the coming year, traditionally it is only the water from the Second Great Sanctification, which is performed on the day of the Feast of Theophany (January 6th), that is called "Jordan Water" and used for the Theophany House Blessing.

All who reside in the household should make every effort to be present for the Blessing. In anticipation of the arrival of the Priest to the house, the lampada, hand-censer and incense in the family’s icon corner should be prepared. If there is no icon corner, a small table should be placed on the eastern wall of the main room of the dwelling; the table, covered with a white cloth, should be set with one or more icons standing upright, a candle in a candle stand, a hand-censer and incense. A small bowl along with several sprigs of evergreen bound together with a ribbon should also be placed in the icon corner (or on the table), along with a clearly printed list of the Baptismal names of the members of the household. Upon the arrival of the Priest, he is to be greeted by all of the family members, each of whom asks the Priest’s blessing and reverences his right hand. Then a family member lights the lampada (or candle) and hand-censer and turns off all televisions, radios, etc. in the home. Lights should be turned on in all the rooms of the house that are to be blessed. Then the entire family gathers with the Priest before the icon corner (or table) to begin the Theophany House Blessing.

The Priest, vested in cassock and exorasson and facing the icons, blesses and dons his epitrachelion saying the usual vesting prayer. He then places incense upon the lighted charcoal in the hand-censer and blesses it saying the usual prayer. He then places his hand-cross at the icon corner (or on the table) and, after pouring “Jordan Water” into the bowl provided by the family, he blesses himself while intoning:

PRIEST: Blessed is our God, always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

PRIEST: Glory to Thee, our God. Glory to Thee.

O heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, who art everywhere present and fillest all things, the Treasury of good things and Giver of life: Come, and abide in us, and cleanse us from every stain, and save our souls, O good One.

ALL: Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal: have mercy on us. (thrice)

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

All-holy Trinity, have mercy on us. Lord, cleanse us from our sins. Master, pardon our iniquities. Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities for Thy Name’s sake.

Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Our Father, who art in the heavens, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

PRIEST: For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Then the Priest leads all in the chanting of the Apolytikion of Theophany in Tone 1:

When Thou, O Lord, wast baptized in the Jordan, worship of the Trinity was made manifest. For the voice of the Father bore witness to Thee, calling Thee His beloved Son. And the Spirit, in the likeness of a dove,
confirmed the truth of His word. O Christ our God, who hast appeared and enlightened the world, glory to Thee.

PRIEST: Have mercy on us, O God, according to Thy great mercy, we pray Thee, hearken and have mercy.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for all pious and Orthodox Christians.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for our Metropolitan N., our father and Bishop N., and all our brotherhood in Christ.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for mercy, life, peace, health, salvation, visitation and pardon and forgiveness of sins for the servants of God, (we mention by name all those who dwell in the house that is to be blessed) NN., and for all pious and Orthodox Christians who live and dwell in this community.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: For Thou art a merciful God and lovest mankind, and unto Thee we ascribe glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Turning to face the people, the Priest blesses them, saying:

PRIEST: + Peace be to all.

ALL: And to thy spirit.

PRIEST: Let us bow our heads unto the Lord.

ALL: To Thee, O Lord.

All bow their heads as the Priest faces the icons and prays:

PRIEST: Let us pray to the Lord.

ALL: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: Our God our Saviour, the True Light, who wast baptized by John in the Jordan to renew all men by the water of regeneration, and who didst condescend to enter under the roof of Zacchaeus, and didst thereby bring salvation to him and all his household: Do Thou now also, the same Lord, keep safe from harm all those who dwell herein. Vouchsafe them sanctification, purification and health of body, and grant their petitions which are unto salvation and life everlasting: For blessed art Thou, O Christ our God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory together with Thine unoriginate Father and Thine all-holy and good and life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Then the head of the household takes up a lighted candle and leads through the house the Priest, who carries the bowl of “Jordan Water” and, using his hand-cross together with the bound sprigs of evergreen, sprinkles each room with the “Jordan Water.” It is customary that he sprinkle each doorway upon the lintel and at each side. During the Theophany season (January 6th through the Leavetaking on January 14th) the festal Apolytikion “When Thou, O Lord wast baptized …” is chanted repeatedly throughout the House Blessing; but should the House Blessing take place after the Leavetaking, the Apolytikion of the Cross (also in Tone 1) “O Lord, save Thy people and bless Thine inheritance…” is chanted rather than that of Theophany. It is common practice that once the Great Fast begins House Blessings are suspended. The other members of the household may walk behind the Priest if they wish or they may remain at the icon corner (or table). The procession through the house ends at the icon corner (or table).

The Priest replaces the bowl and sprigs of evergreen in the icon corner (or on the table), and, holding the hand-cross and facing the people, he says the Dismissal:

PRIEST: Glory to Thee, O Christ our God and our Hope. Glory to Thee.

ALL: Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen. Lord, have mercy. (thrice) Father, bless.

PRIEST: May He who deigned to be baptized by John in the Jordan for our salvation, Christ our true God, through the intercessions of His all-immaculate and all-blameless holy Mother, at the supplications of (the
Patron Saint of the local church temple), of the holy and righteous ancestors of God Joachim and Anna, and of all the saints: have mercy on us, and save us, forasmuch as He is good and loveth mankind.

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us, and save us.

ALL: Amen.

Again facing the holy icons, the Priest holds the hand-cross and intones:

PRIEST: Grant, O Lord, a peaceful life, health, salvation and furtherance in all good things to Thy servant(s), (we mention by name all those who dwell in the house that has been blessed) NN., and preserve him/her/them for many years!

He turns and blesses the people thrice with the hand-cross as all sing the “Many years.” Those who dwell in the house then approach the Priest to reverence the hand-cross and his hand, and to be blessed with the “Jordan Water.”

It should be noted that it is customary for the head of the household to discreetly present the Priest with an envelope containing an honorarium and a list of the Living and Departed for whom the family requests his prayers during the New Year.

NOTE: These are the rubrics for the Diocese of Wichita & Mid-America, Antiochian Archdiocese; practices may vary.

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